Canceling the bridal party?

I get your point but I feel truthfully if I spent any money on a dress and then told that there will be no bridal party it would be a little frutstrating. Can you have a happy medium? You mentioned their socialization but they are grown adults so they can learn to get along for the day. I have had times when I have been a bridesmaid and did not know the other ladies but I was cool with them and vice versa because we are there for the bride and some of them I have not spoken to since...not for a bad reason. Could you still spend the day with your family and leave them to be with each other? Last time I was a bridesmaid we all got our own hair and make up done and my friend got her hair done with one of the bridesmaids and her sisters so she had that family time and we all met up at the venue before the ceremony. You do not have to have the get together where the entire bridal party is together maybe unless everyone is traveling for the wedding but if it is local just have everyone take care of their own hair and make up.

As a bride and groom, your reception is meant to visit with everyone and thank them for coming. I wasn’t planning on seeing my bridesmaid until she picked me up to go to first look. She’s doing own hair and make-up, will attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. I will also invite our of town guests to join at rehearsal dinner.

If you do this then you need to reimburse them each for the dress they bought and any other money spent on being your bridesmaid.

I agree with others that say it would be wrong/rude to cancel your bridal party, especially since they've already paid for dresses. That they were under $100 is neither here nor there. As a bridesmaid, you spend money on a dress you know you are likely to wear just that one time. Now, they've spent money on a dress that they won't wear at all? That's not cool. I think your concern about not spending time with them might be a bit out of bounds since I don't think they are expecting you to spend all of your time with them during your wedding. Instead, if they are all nearby, why not organize a get together with them and you so they can all get to know each other prior to your wedding. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate -- maybe a game night at your home with pizza and cocktails/beer. Or brunch. Something along those lines will give them a chance to get to know each other better and YOU can feel more comfortable that hey can socialize during your wedding. If this doesn't seem doable and you're still set on canceling the wedding party, then the least you should do is reimburse them for what they spent. But just understand, reimbursement or not, there may be some hurt feelings and resentment. Ask yourself which would you rather have -- hurt friends or a socialized bridal party?

It might soften the blow if you pay for their dresses, but more than likely they'll still feel hurt. You asked them to be a part of a very big day in your life, and if you turn around and tell them you'd rather they weren't a feature in your wedding day, even if it's so you can focus more on family, it will still hurt because it would probably sound like you don't value their friendship, while they valued yours enough to commit to spending time and money to support you. It would be a wiser idea to find other ways to ensure you have family time in the lead up to the big day as well as on the day itself.

I had a bridal party and still spent a lot of time with my family. My mom was in the bridal suite getting ready with us. My dad came in for part of the time as well (I had a bridesman, so he was not the only guy in the room). I guess I don't see why you can't have your closest friends their while also spending time with you family...?

I also agree with all of the PP's. Considering they have already paid for their dresses, I think it's a little rude to cancel having a bridal party.

It would be very rude to tell them they're not in the bridal party after they already spent money on their dresses..

This happened to me. I had visions of just having my FH up at the alter with me before even asking the girls, but I ended up asking them to be in my party anyways because it seemed like the "right thing to do". I asked four girls (3 friends and my sister) to be in my bridal party - and as soon as they bought their dresses, I realized I didn't go with my gut and I regretted it. Two of the girls ordered their dresses and they had a timeframe of two weeks before the dresses came in, and once they came in, they had two weeks to return them full refund if they didn't work out. That gave me a quick timeline to pull back my decision. I told my sister what I wanted to do, and my mom, and they both thought I was nuts for wanting to reverse course, but I knew in my heart my best friends would understand (though I did think it might sting a little). My best friend of 25 years was totally ok with it, (she hadn't even bought her dress yet), and my other two best friends of 10 years were a little taken back at first, but at the end of the day they understood it was my day (I cried telling them because it was so hard to face them with my real decision).

I asked them in February to be in my party, and by March I pulled back on my decision. The two girls who bought their dresses returned them when they came in, and they said "it is what it is, we're sorry it happened but we'll still be there for you." It's been 4 months and I don't regret pulling back on my decision. I am only having my sister as my MOH, and she is only standing up for our vows, that's it.

It sounds really really crappy to think I did this, and trust me, I thought I was a terrible person to do this at first, but at the end of the day, I ended up with what I wanted. I am still honoring the girls and inviting them to get hair/makeup with me the morning of (I am most likely going to pay for either their hair or makeup to get done to make up for my foolishness). We are going to have nice pictures done together by the photographer, and they know deep down they are my squad for life.

My advice, tread lightly. It's water under the bridge with my friends. Some people make take it rudely and offensively. I think you do need to soften the blow - maybe if their dresses are non-refundable, give them cash for the dresses. Offer to have them get ready with you in the morning like I am doing. Something to make them feel like it's not the end of the world, but you still love them dearly. You can't help what the heart wants sometimes, I made a mistake and I owned up to it. At the end of the day - it's your day.

And to be honest, the pandemic has put A LOT of things into perspective when it comes to weddings. The foo-foo things should be the least of people's concerns right now.