Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Dedicated July 2020

Cancelation Etiquette due to illness/injury

Lindsey, on May 18, 2019 at 2:01 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 18

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hi everyone, I am so panicked.
Our wedding/vow renewal is in less than two months. My husband battled leukemia last year and won but during it we got married in the hospital. We went ahead with planning our original big wedding so we decided to call it a vow renewal to celebrate our marriage. we were getting so excited.

As I write this we are in the hospital. My husband has a compression fracture in his spine and fractures along his pelvis. The docs don't know what's causing it which makes the future pretty scary. It could be an infection, or medication induced, maybe a side effect of the chemo and radiation he had last year, or it could be another cancer. We don't know. There's a good chance we are going to have to cancel/postpone our celebration. I am devastated.

How do we go about that? It's a "destination" wedding for many family members because it requires travel and lodging. I feel like people are going to be out so much money but we couldn't have predicted his spine would collapse. I need some guidance and advice. Also if anyone is willing to send out some good thoughts, prayers, love, positive energy, etc please do, he needs it.

Flag
Hide content

18 Comments

Latest activity by mrsaj2b, on July 3, 2019 at 7:51 PM

Dedicated August 2019
Kelsey · on May 18, 2019 at 2:16 PM
Flag

Hide content
First off, I’m so sorry that you and your fiancé are going through all of this. Sending positive vibes your way! I would just give everyone a heads up that the vow renewal may be postponed. I don’t think anyone could get too upset it’s not like you guys could have foreseen this happening. Most hotels are good at cancelling reservations with little to no penalty as long as it’s not 24 hours before the stay. Airfare is trickier but I think you’re able to switch dates for a fee. Hopefully you guys can still go through with the renewal as planned!
- Reply
Dedicated July 2020
Lindsey · on May 18, 2019 at 2:28 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thank you! I hope if we have to postpone people will be able to get their money back and transfer tickets and such. I'm not even sure if we will be able to change our plane tickets but hopefully we can.

I'm worried about all the money we might lose from our vendors too. Hopefully they will be understanding and at least able to transfer the deposits and such to a different date if need be.
- Reply
Dedicated July 2019
Emerita · on May 18, 2019 at 3:11 PM
Flag

Hide content
I am so sorry you guys are going through this. Keep everyone you have invited and the vendors in the loop. Ask everyone for prayers if you want to.

I pray that you guys are able to
move forward with your vow renewal. I pray for a speedy recovery and quick hospital discharge
- Reply
Dedicated October 2019
Jeana · on May 18, 2019 at 4:09 PM
Flag

Hide content
I’m so sorry you and your husband are going through this. Just let people know now what is going on and that it might impact plans. People should be understanding of the situation (and if they’re not you don’t need them in your life).
- Reply
Super July 2021
Alycia · on May 18, 2019 at 4:58 PM
Flag

Hide content
The people who love you will be more concerned about your husband's health than the wedding cancellation. Personally, I'd reschedule right away. Be positive. Have faith. Set a new date. It will help your hubby feel stronger if he knows you feel confident that he'll recover. He is the only person who matters in this situation. Your friends and fam will agree.
- Reply
Expert June 2019
Tara · on May 18, 2019 at 6:03 PM
Flag

Hide content
I am sorry you guys are going through this and I hope everything is okay.

I would definitely reach out to everyone and let them know what is going on. I agree that if they express annoyance to you, then those people should be reconsidered to be in your life because it is not like you guys are just deciding to change things on a whim. I would also not worry about the proper way!
- Reply
Super September 2021
Sharon · on May 18, 2019 at 6:19 PM
Flag

Hide content
Praying they find the cause and for a full recovery for your husband. People you invited will completely understand so don't waste your energy worrying about that. I would contact your vendors sooner rather than later. The more notice you can give them the better. Sounds like you and your husband have gone through a lot together. so you know the only thing that matters is that you have each other. I'm also praying for you, to have the strength to deal with this and to be humble enough to ask for help when you need.
- Reply
Savvy October 2021
Alexandria · on May 20, 2019 at 9:56 PM
Flag

Hide content
I hope your husband makes a swift and speedy recovery. I was in a similar situation where I had to cancel my trip to see my FH's family due to an accident I was involved in. I was devastated. People will understand if you have to postpone and they will do what they can do adjust to situation.
- Reply
Expert October 2019
Tonia · on May 21, 2019 at 7:32 AM
Flag

Hide content
First off, stay strong and I am praying for you and your husband. As others have said, people will understand the circumstances and if they don't rethink the relationship with them. I would send something out stating the wedding has been postponed/cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances and more information will be given when it is rescheduled.
For the vendors, have a conversation with them and let them know what is going on. The vendors can be tricky because they have contracts that state for any reason of cancellation, etc. Some may be able to work with you so definitely go into it with an open mind.
- Reply
Super October 2017
Emily · on May 21, 2019 at 8:07 AM
Flag

Hide content
I am so sorry for you both. I have been dealing with my husband having serious surgery and while it’s not as significant as what you’re going through it was one of the most serious surgeries and I know how scared and exhausted I have been. I can’t imagine what you must be going through with all the questions of the future and your wedding plans.
Your wedding is in July. Give it a week or two and see what is happening, unless your guests don’t have their trips booked yet, there isn’t any reason to make action right now. Every day you will know more about what is happening medically. We did not know about my husband’s surgery and had to cancel some planned trips. For one of them, I had bought the cheapest, non refundable tickets and because it was a medical issue, the airline gave me credits to use. They expire, but we aren’t out the money.
If I were you, I would wait a week or so, then if it looks like you may not have the ability to do your trip, start talking to your vendors. The hotel and flight you will probably be able to get back if you need it, and most vendors will likely be willing to work with you.
Also, don’t worry about your family. They will understand and will want you both to take care of yourselves. Maybe you can even explain to the airlines about the destinations wedding and see if they will extend any relief to your guests. Take a deep breath and go day by day. I wish you both the best.
- Reply
WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
Jo · on June 27, 2019 at 3:12 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Hi Lindsey, how have things with your husband's health progressed since you last posted? Are you going always with the renewal as scheduled? Is his health improving? Or have you moved forward with the postponement?
- Reply
Dedicated July 2020
Lindsey · on June 27, 2019 at 7:19 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Hi Jo thanks for checking in. My husbands leukemia has relapsed and so we had to go ahead with postponing our vow renewal. Most of our vendors were understanding and our venue refunded us everything but the deposit and said they would save it to apply to a future date if it’s within a year (this may not be possible but at least it’s a nice gesture). Unfortunately our flights were non-refundable and despite asking the airline they won’t make an exception so we are out close to $800. It’s most important that my husband gets healthy again so we are trying not to stress about that too much.

If if anyone wants to follow along on our journey my blog is lifeloveandleukemia.blog
- Reply
Master August 2019
Allie · on June 28, 2019 at 9:31 AM
Flag

Hide content
I'm so sorry to hear this. I feel like your guests will be understanding and your vendors as well. Just explain the situation and see what options you have.
- Reply
Dedicated July 2020
Lindsey · on June 28, 2019 at 9:44 AM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Thanks Allie,
Everyone had been so understanding about it ever our vendors so we have been fortunate. If only the airline was as accommodating.
- Reply
Expert June 2019
Tara · on July 2, 2019 at 8:45 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I am so sorry to hear of this! I really hope he gets better soon! Not even just for your wedding, but in general! Money will come and go - even though this can become a very hard time - but life is definitely more important! I am thinking of your guys!
- Reply
Super July 2021
Alycia · on July 3, 2019 at 2:51 AM
Flag

Hide content
I'm praying for you and your husband. The greatest gift is being loved unconditionally. You are his gift.
- Reply
Expert June 2020
Kelsi · on July 3, 2019 at 12:31 PM
Flag

Hide content
This is such a scary time and it shows you're a good person by being worried about your friends/family.
Usually you can't get a refund on tickets but they allow you to re-book it (usually within a year of the ticket date I believe). The hotels will depend if you did a block and you agreement. Sometimes that's 30 days, sometimes it's 24hrs.
Family and friends may still decide to take the vacation and go.
I am so sorry you're going through this. You have all my thoughts/prayers/well wishes.
- Reply

Master October 2019
mrsaj2b · on July 3, 2019 at 7:51 PM
Flag

Hide content
Sending prayers and well wishes you and your DH. I've had to postpone/cancel our wedding several times over the years as my FH battled cancer. It was rough stuff and so, so hard. To was truly devastating to see my FH go through what he did as well as for us as a couple and what we were trying to accomplish together. However, our guests and vendors were awesome and made postponing/cancelling less traumatic.
If you do have to postpone/cancel, it is true some will lose money, etc. but you can't help that. Certainly if you had your way none of this would be happening! Just let everyone know as soon as you can. If you have someone to help you, then let them assist with reaching out to everyone. Once it is done you will feel relieved to just pause and focus solely on loving your man through his ordeal. Take care of yourself too!
- Reply