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Just Said Yes June 2016

Can you have a pre-wedding party for those not invited when having a family only wedding?

Savannah, on January 30, 2016 at 3:04 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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My fiancé and I both have large families and I come from a blended family which makes our guest list even larger. We are keeping our guest list to strictly family and like family (people we've grown up with and close friends now). However, we have had old friends/aquintances that we haven't talked to in two to three plus years asking to be invited to the wedding. Could we throw a party of sorts to invite these people and explain that we are having a small wedding? That way they could be included but we can still keep our guest list down.

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8 Comments

Latest activity by moj, on August 30, 2019 at 2:44 PM

Master October 2015
Mrs. B · on January 30, 2016 at 3:21 AM
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I don't think it's necessary for you to throw a party to tell them they aren't invited. As much as you want them to feel included they won't be because they aren't going to the wedding. Next time one of them mentions it you can let them know that you are keeping the guest list very small.
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Super April 2017
Melissa53 · on January 30, 2016 at 3:35 AM
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You could always have a little get together with these people a couple weeks after you get married to celebrate your wedding... I've seen people do this when they come back from their honeymoon.
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VIP May 2016
Sunni · on January 30, 2016 at 4:05 AM
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Why do some people make other people's weddings about them? These same people asking to be invited probably would end up being no shows...or would just be going for free food and booze. Don't worry about or cater to people who want to be included just to feel included. I would be planning at least five different weddings (pre-weddings, post-weddings, whatever) if that were the case.
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Master June 2016
Niki · on January 30, 2016 at 7:15 AM
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All you need to say to these people is either "we havent finalized the guest list yet" or "due to venue/budget/etc. constraints, we can only host immediate family for the wedding". A "you're not invited" party is awkward at best, rude and appearing gift-grabby at worst.
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Master April 2016
Ostrich · on January 30, 2016 at 8:09 AM
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When they ask if they can come you simply say "I'm sorry due to budget and venue space we've decided to keep our wedding small". No celebrations hosted by you before or after the wedding as that's gift grabby.
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Dedicated February 2016
Samantha · on January 30, 2016 at 8:19 AM
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If you're interested in a party for your sake as well as your friends, then absolutely! I'm having a tiny wedding and then an "after party" to celebrate good friends that we simply couldn't invite to the wedding. The response has been very positive!
If you're considering a party just to avoid drama or confrontation, I say skip it! Those who really love you will understand!
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Dedicated April 2016
Meghan · on January 30, 2016 at 3:52 PM
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If they're not invited to the wedding, they shouldn't be invited to a pre-wedding party. If people want to know why they aren't invited just tell them it is because of budget issues. You're friends will understand.
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Just Said Yes March 2011
moj · on August 30, 2019 at 2:44 PM
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How did u word such an invite?
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