Can you avoid a big wedding if you are from a large family????

Well, first you have to choose not to feel bad. No one is entitled to an invitation to your wedding, and many of these friends may already understand the expense of a big wedding and will understand your decision.

This needs to be your mantra, "we are keeping it to family - you know how big my family is!!" or something like that.

Own your decision, own your wedding, and realize you don't owe anyone an invitation.

You can but it won't be easy. You'll probably offend some people - that's just the nature of planning a wedding unfortunately.

I would start with the most important people - people you speak with on a regular basis - and branch out from there. The easiest place to cut is distant cousins and friends you don't see as often (for me it was anyway).

Best of luck!

Do you have a lot of cousins too? That's where the guest list gets big, not from your immediate family. If you AND FS are willing to leave out some relatives in your wider circles, parents' friends, and non-besties, understanding that you will probably offend some people, it can be done.

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This ^ FH has a huge family, and I have a rather large extended family, and while our wedding is still considered "big" at 150 invited guests, it would've been over 250 if we had invited every single family member.

You can have a small wedding even though you have a big family, you just have to make that choice and stick to it. I am one of 6 children, luckily my FH only has one brother. We wanted to keep it small so we picked a small space that limited the guest count. Ours limits our count to 36 people so it is easy for me to tell people that we are sorry but we are full.

To cut back, we sat down and listed every person we could think of to invite. After we did that, we went back and asked ourselves the last time we spoke and/or saw everyone on the list, and went from there. I know there are circumstances where you don't get to see your family often, such as relatives living in other states, illness, etc. but in my mind, if I hadn't even spoken to a 2nd cousin, friend, etc. in over a year - I didn't feel they needed to be invited. As a PP has said, it's a little easier when you pick a venue with limited capacity. That way you really can't over-invite without having to choose a new one.

I'm in a similar boat, I cut my list down to 75 people and most of that is my family as my fiancé does not have a big family. I had a girlfriend that had a "open house" reception in her back yard. People came and went as they pleased and I believe there were over 250 guests. Just an idea.

I agree with a lot that has been said: you'll offend somebody no matter what, you will have to choose those most important to you, and you'll have to stand your ground.

I've heard and seen a lot of brides on here doing very small (usually destination) weddings and then having a BBQ or casual reception with people that couldn't make it. It is NOT a cheaper option than just having a big wedding, keep that in mind if you choose this route.

You can also solidify a small wedding by purposely getting a small venue or going to the courthouse. I'm not sure what number you're going for, but I would make a list and go from there.

We have a big family on both sides (FH is one of 6 I'm only 1 of 3 but our moms are both 1 of 8 and we are close with Aunt/Uncles and cousins)

We choose a DW in Vegas to make it 'smaller' (It's still 60 people but smaller then what it could be) when we get back we are having a celebration for our friends and families to come too. Nothing formal or fancy just rented out the Italian center, doing BBQ and a DJ and just throwing a big party.

I have hardcore Italian guilt and I want to celebrate with everyone but it's just so expensive we thought this would be better and it's more fitting for us and our loved ones anyways!

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We are doing a DW and big celebration at home and spending about half what our friends who had a big wedding here spent. So it's possible to be cheaper if you do it right.

I have a HUGE family. HUGE. I decided that I wasn't inviting cousins because I have way too many of them and I have friends that I am actually closer to. At the end of the day, you have to do what's right for you and do it without regrets.

You have to do what works for you. I have almost no family. I wish I had a big family I could invite, to be honest. I miss the idea of those moments that people have with their siblings or cousins.

I don't know. If I had a big family I'd probably want to include them. Instead we invited a lot of friends instead. I'd rather spend the money and have all the important people there. But it's a personal choice.

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Family is extremely large. My mom has 10 siblings and yes i do have plenty cousins....tooooooooooo numerous to mention. I have the immediate family list under control. Main issue is cutting down my friend's list( church members, co-workers, etc....)

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Thank you for the pointers.....i like the last part. " own your decision, own your wedding..."

I will definitely remember this line. Thanks again.

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Thanks for the advice. Will review my list.

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Really appreciate the advice. I do have a list and have been cutting down on it. Even some of my siblings reviewed the list to help me out a bit.

My exH has a HUGE family....and serious anxiety about being in the spotlight. To keep things small we did parents, grandparents, siblings/spouses, and one dear friend each. With a lot of siblings this may still be a good-sized group, but it worked well for us.