Can Married People Be Friends With The Opposite Sex?

If you can't be friends with people of the opposite gender (or same gender in some cases) then you have no trust in your relationship and probably have bigger issues than platonic friendships. I would never date, let alone marry, someone who dictated who I could and couldn't be friends with.

I have plenty of friends of the opposite sex - as does my husband. We are adults who understand the difference between friendship and attraction. And if a friend cannot respect that difference, then they have no place in being a friend. My husband and I married each other because we have full trust. I don't care who his friends are, what gender, etc. I trust him completely to socialize with friends - with or without me present. And he feels the same about me. As far as "boundaries," I don't feel that they need to be explicitly set. If things they say or do come across as flirtatious or "more than just friendly," we call it out. A once-off, oops moment is no big deal, but if we notice a pattern, then the friendship has to be put at arms length or completely cut off.

I'd turn that on its head and ask does that mean that a same sex couple couldn't have friends of the same gender? I mean, anyone who feels that infidelity is the inevitable result would say so, right, but it's clearly lucridrous.

So yes, married people can have friends of the opposite gender, or the same gender, or whatever they they want. Infidelity is never going to be "inevitable" based solely on the gender and sexuality of the people involved - for a start, that suggests people have no control over their own fidelity. I wouldn't marry someone who had an issue with me being friends with men.

Gah I can't seem to edit on my phone - clearly I meant ludicrous!

My first marriage my husband forbid me from talking to all of my friends who were guys. He was very insecure and me being a dumb 19 year old didn’t think it was that big of a deal. My fh doesn’t care who I talk to because he trusts me completely. From my personal experience if you are dating someone who tells you not to associate with anyone of the opposite sex you need to run far away from that relationship. It’s not something that will change or get better down the road, it will only get worse.

Both myself and my spouse have friends of the opposite sex. One of my best friends is male and my spouse and him get along great!!!! As I do with one of his best female friends. It’s about having trust in your spouse and knowing that people can bond without having to be sexual or without having “strings attached”

Adults should be able to be friends with people of any gender. If you cannot befriend someone over their gender, or because your spouse doesn't want you to there are some deep issues at hand that need counseling.
If you need to set boundaries with someone or think something more than platonic is going on it is time for some deep introspection on why that is. Controlling your partners platonic relationships, becoming jealous, or not being able to trust are a red flag for an unhealthy and toxic relationship and should signal a need for couple's therapy.
Because my partner and I have genuine and healthy adult relationships we do not need to set boundaries with our friends of various genders.
It's also a good idea to meet your partners friends before you get married if possible, it's always good to be able to have a group of people you can go on vacation with or just hang out around. Life is more fun with friends, friendship is magic after all!

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Do you believe opposite-sex friendships can be a slippery slope for infidelity?

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I don't think that anything is a "slippery slope for infidelity" except for being a cheater. No matter the circumstances, you're not going to cheat unless you're an unfaithful person. Whether that's a friend of the same/opposite sex at work, the person sitting next to you at church, or at a nightclub. If you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat. If you're not, you're not.

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I think that being friendly with/ associating with people of the opposit-sex and being friends are two different things. If your spouse doesn't even want you to say hi to someone of the opposite sex then they are definitely controlling and you should run for the hills.

No, and I think if that is the case for you, or anyone, then that is a controlling and unhealthy relationship. Without trust, the relationship won't work. My FH and I trust each other, and we both have tons of friends of the opposite gender. We all hang out together sometimes, and other times not! There is nothing wrong with that.

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I'm kind of mixed on this situation. If you were already best friends with a guy before you and your husband started dating then that's one thing. But if you became friends after the fact then I don't know. I'm not judging, I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes and consider how I would feel about that.

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No. If someone is a cheater, they will cheat. Otherwise, in a healthy, faithful, trusting relationship, having friends of the opposite gender (or same, depending on preference), is completely normal and healthy.

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Setting boundaries is the key to having friends of any sex, especially now that many people are sexually fluid.

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You made a great point! I agree with you.

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This isn't my current dilemma, I just thought it would make for a great discussion. My husband and I are okay with having friends of the opposite sex. We set boundaries and respect one another so we haven't had any problems with that.

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I completely agree.

View Quoted Comment Not sure what you mean by sexually fluid. But if you're in a platonic relationship with someone then you should be fine. Unless you're a cheater or associating with people who are malicious there's no reason to worry about it.

My friends are mostly women - some single, some dating, some married. There hasn't been an issue with attraction on either side probably 80% of the time. I also think we naturally develop "friend crushes" on people of either sex that are keyed into new relationship energy (NRE) but never lead to anything.

Definitely!