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Just Said Yes June 2020

Can i un-ask a bridesmaid?

Myranda, on June 13, 2019 at 7:07 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8

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So, right now I have 6 bridesmaids. I had gone back and forth for choosing the last one to have. I hastily made the decision without thinking it over much and now I’m regretting it. The one I asked has been a family friend for about 10 years. She’s the closest with my older sister and I felt obligated to ask her bc she’s “like” family. Now her and both of my sisters got into a fight. There’s always been that drama in between them plus her sister. Lately it’s just been too much. Now I’m thinking I should un-ask her and ask my best friend that I was originally going to ask. I don’t care to have that kind of drama surrounding my wedding. Also, her sister had a problem with me even asking her in the first place. Is this wrong of me?

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8 Comments

Latest activity by Brittany, on June 14, 2019 at 11:41 AM

Just Said Yes June 2019
Delia · on June 13, 2019 at 7:17 PM
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This is tricky! If you think that having that bridesmaid will cause too much chaos with your sisters, you should rescind the invitation. Remember that your bridesmaids are there to help you plan and share in the joy of your momentous day. However, I would break the news to your friend gently, and make sure that she knows you love her and want her to be a part of your special day. At the end of the day, this is your decision to make. Good luck!
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 13, 2019 at 8:21 PM
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It is ok to unask someone but it sort of affects your friendship after from what I've seen.
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Super October 2019
Kat_ · on June 13, 2019 at 10:39 PM
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I had my former best friend ask me to step down from being her MOH once. I totally know why too.. I was a heavy partier and missed some of my obligations. I don’t blame her at all! We remained friends for years afterwards but now that I’m sober we don’t have much in common. Life is funny that way. Do what you need to do for YOU.
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VIP September 2019
CDickman · on June 13, 2019 at 10:53 PM
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It could ruin your friendship also If you unask her watch asking someone else to take her place. that just sends the messy tat you ave to have a certain amount of bridesmaids and grooms man not that you want them to stand by you that day.
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Dedicated August 2019
Misstomorris · on June 14, 2019 at 4:44 AM
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If you’re ready to end the friendship.
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on June 14, 2019 at 10:54 AM
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Ultimately, that is up to you...but realize it will affect y'all's relationship moving forward. Why did you not ask your best friend to begin with? I'm not saying ask instead of this girl, but ask period. I would think someone you label as best friend would be asked initially.
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Dedicated June 2020
Isabella · on June 14, 2019 at 11:37 AM
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I think that you have to make the best decision for you, which sounds like un-asking her. I think it will probably cause issues but if she is going to ruin your events and be in your pictures forever, to me it would be worth the "issues" un-asking will probably cause. We just went through a similar issue with my best friend (I'm her MOH) and un-asking a girl and as awkward as it was it was the right decision in our situation.
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Super July 2018
Brittany · on June 14, 2019 at 11:41 AM
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I wouldn't do anything just yet, give it about 3 months and see if the situation changes. It would probably cause way more drama if you un-asked her and then her and your sister became friends again. Plus her parents will be upset and probably complain to your parents who will complain to you. Way more than you probably want to deal with. Bridesmaids really aren't too involved until 6-9 months before the wedding anyway when dresses, the shower and bachelorette will be discussed so if at that point things don't blow over then you should ask her to step down and it'll be a little more justified since you at least gave it time to blow over.
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