Can i request formal attire on invites?

I also disagree that putting it on the invites is rude. Personally, I would appreciate the heads up without having to go to the wedding website, which not everyone views.

I agree with putting it on the website. The formality of the invitations and the venue itself should indicate the formality of the dress. Unfortunately for OP, most people think a barn venue is a casual venue, so guests may not want to wear formal attire even if she requests it.

I agree with PP - formal attire is a nicer way of saying it. I totally see where you're coming from by the way. I said semi formal would be great and like.. there were a couple people who came in tshirts and jeans and it's just like gah I'm glad you're here but gosh coulda dressed up a bit nicer xD

Honestly I would be super thankful to get a dress code on a wedding invite. I always freak out trying to decide how fancy to go.

Generally, the only dress code that should go on the invitation Is “black tie”
and that type of event requires many elements including valet parking, 2 bands, top shelf open bar, 4-5 course plated dinner etc.
Weddings with other types of settings should not include dress code.

View Quoted Comment 2bands? I have never heard of that as a requirement. Dancing is not a requirement for a formal wedding. Why would 2 bands be? Nor is valet parking. You can go whole counties in NH and many other states without finding valet parking for anything formal. That may be a local expectation. Old etiquette books require footmen, and a review of household staff, for rich people in high society. But those type things have never been required for those in an income bracket not to have them. The " rules " of formality are all about clothing. Or the type of service , as in plated sit down meals. But liquor is not a requirement. Nor multiple bands. Dancing is only required if it is a ball, not a wedding . A formal wedding or other affair need not have a lot of expensive high end stuff .

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I appreciate that perspective! I am an event planner by profession, so I am used to giving people instructions, such as dress code. I am also very type A and would like to be given as much information about an event as possible - because like you said, I would hate to have misunderstood and risk showing up under-dressed or even over-dressed.

Also, you made a good point and I should have mentioned that the barn is more upscale- complete with lighting, drapery, and chandeliers.

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I just do not get it. To me, a wedding by nature is a formal event. I know not everyone thinks the same though.

Put it on the information card instead and your wedding website. In two places on my website I said semi-formal attire *no jeans please*. On the information card I made it known that the ceremony will be on the lawn and cocktail hour on upper deck so guests should choose their footwear and semi-formal attire accordingly. I put this also because it will be October there is no telling if it'll be cold and they need a sweater.

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I agree it's not rude because every wedding I have been to where nobody put somewhere how to dress everyone is constantly asking the bride or groom what they can wear. It gives people a heads up right away. I mean I had it two places on my wedding website and still had people ask if cowboy boots were okay to wear and I said yes that's fine but no jeans. Our crowd is very laid back so I wanted to ensure they understood no jeans and semi formal attire.

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That is a good point too. Thanks!

Meh, who cares. If you are dropping thousands of dollars on an event for your guests then I don't believe it's rude to ask them to dress a little fancier than they would regularly dress. Plus, it's your wedding. This is your one big day to call the shots. I had an FAQ page on my wedding website where I said something along the lines of "Please dress in cocktail attire with your favorite dancing shoes!". It brought kind of a lighthearted edge to it that made it seem suggestive as opposed to forceful.

I did formal attire on the SAVE THE DATES & Formal Invites. They need to know, is it casual, formal or Black Tie.

View Quoted Comment This is usually the best. Yes, you want to convey that it is a formal event on the invitations. But saying, dress a certain way ... Not polite. Except by the conventional black tie. Which is a level of formality. Because you do not tell adults people how to dress. It is not necessary if you say, ceremony info, then formal reception and dancing to follow at Smith's farm or whatever. This characterizes the reception as formal. Instead of saying, wear formal clothes. They get the message without you saying " wear this" that it is a formal occasion ... so of course people will wear suitable clothes. We hope. And then to also say on a details card everyone will see, not just a website, something direct, gives the same message. As in, Smith Farm takes advantage of it's setting with views of rolling countryside, but has a very formal dining and ballroom inside the barn. From chandeliers to service, we are having a very elegant formal dinner, so dress in all your finery and join us ... Whether is considered polite is to make the message clear in an indirect way, telling the people the formality level in 5 ways and places, but not, wear this kind of attire .