Can i Not Invite Bridesmaids to Bachelorette Party?

Where are you expecting them to go? Plan dinner and show or something out, if they can attend great! Dont expect 5-9 people to go out of town for a party.

I would personally be really upset if a bride wanted me there the day of, but didn't want me with her celebrating before hand. I would at least invite them all. Some may not be able to anyway.

You should invite them all. Go out dinner and drinks or something not too extravagant. The other option would be to plan it close to the wedding and then all those people would probably be in town.

Example: The day before the wedding you could go with all your girls to get mani/pedis and then lunch or something like that.

Is someone throwing you a bachelorette party or are you planning one for yourself?

If you have a bachelorette party, I think you'll need to invite all the ladies in the BP. It's not a good idea to invite only 3 of the 8 just because they are more outgoing. Everyone can decide for themselves if they want to attend.

I've been at 2 huge overnight bach parties, one with 16 guests (3 BMs and 1 MOH, the rest friends) and another with 14 (2 BMs and 1 MOH). What worked best was when the MOH had a plan and communicated it to everyone, instead of trying to figure things out on the fly and having everyone weigh in on what they thought would be fun. For example, for one party we all met for lunch, had 3 DDs driving the group to wineries, had a dinner reservation for everyone, then a lingerie party at the hotel where everyone had booked rooms. It would have been chaos if we tried to decide that day who would drive, what wineries we would go to, and what the plan would be for dinner after sampling wine all afternoon.

Simple, you don't plan your bachelorette party so you don't need to worry about it.

I would invite them all. I have bridesmaids in three different states across the country and my fiance's brother recently started work in another country. We decided to do a coed bachelor/bachelorette weekend in Vegas and invited everyone. We had talked to the wedding party first to see if anyone would be up for it and they all said yes. We have great group rates for hotel and entertainment. We figured, if people were going to have to fly somewhere to attend, we may as well make it a mini vacation for everyone. I wouldn't expect anyone to fly across country for a simple night out at a bar or a spa day but I'd invite them anyways.

Nobody HAS to fly anywhere for a frivolous party.

Invite them all. It would be a perfect chance for them to get to know each other.

It would be incredibly rude to not invite your entire BP. I imagine they are all adults and can act like adults regardless of whether or not they know the others?

On another note, sounds like you're planning your own bachelorette party. Don't do this.

How would you feel if you were a bridesmaid in a wedding and weren't even invited to the bachelorette party? It is unbelievably rude.

When your bridesmaids plan your bachelorette, they can come up with something that works for the majority of them and go from there.

I agree that you shouldn't be planning your bachelorette party. But regardless, everyone in your BP should be invited no matter how reserved or social they may be. They can make the decision for themselves whether or not they'd like to participate rather than being excluded from the beginning.

I don't think it would be fair to invite some without all.

Yeaahhh, it’s really not okay to pick and choose. Can you imagine not being invited to an event because you’re not the fun one ?!

I went to a Vegas bachelorette weekend and there were 23 of us, all girls. Surprisingly there was very little drama, but only because the bride's MOH had the most insanely detailed itinerary, told everyone the cost of everything up front, let people pick and choose which activities they wanted to be involved in, and collected money in advance for those things.

I think it would be absolutely terrible to not invite a BRIDESMAID to your bachelorette.

Honestly I think you're better off skipping it all together and just having a girls night out or something similar (but not wedding related) instead. Almost our entire wedding party lives several states away from us, and not in the same directions so "middle ground" really wasn't a thing. I felt the same way you did, I didn't want to ask my bridal party to spend more money and time on another trip for us so we declined the offer for my local bff for throw one for us. They would have felt obligated to try and make it if we invited them, and they would have been sad if we left them out, it's a no win situation. Instead my bff surprised us by adding some very bachelorette party aspects to her birthday party and we all had a wonderful time without it having to be all about me.

I can't imagine being thrown a bachelorette party and not inviting everyone in the BP to come. Everyone should at least have the option to choose for themselves whether they want to attend. It's okay for a BP member to decline an invitation to a bachelorette party if they can't do it, but it's not okay to purposely exclude BP members from the party.

That said, you make it sound like you're planning your in bachelorette party. You don't thrown your own. Bachelorette parties are optional and they happen if someone close to you offers to throw you one. I would stop worrying about what kind of bachelorette party you should plan and who to invite. Instead, wait and see if anyone plans one for you. If so, they'll take care of inviting the while BP, figuring out what's best, and who is able to participate. They'll be planning a party that those who want to be involved are able and willing to do. And if no one offers, then that's okay, too.