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Dedicated August 2020

Can i make this dinner feel more like a wedding?

Lau’Ren, on January 21, 2020 at 12:35 PM Posted in Planning 0 18

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Sorry guys, slight rant coming. I’m so frustrated and I feel overwhelmed with planning at this point. Initially I wanted to get married at Philadelphia city hall with 8 guests and take them out to dinner after. After looking at our family and friends group we realized we couldn’t narrow it down that far. We agreed on 30 people including us and our 2 kids. We then decided on a nice park in the city with a reception in a private room at a hotel around the corner.

This is my first and hopefully only marriage so therefore my only wedding. Dancing isn’t a priority for us and we needed to keep our budget in mind. So this means that this is mostly just a big dinner with a ceremony before it. I’m doing my best to make it feel more like a wedding and not just a nice family dinner. We are having a small ceremony with short personal vows, I’m wearing a white dress, carrying a bouquet, getting valet for everyone, having signature drinks, etc.
Some days I still just consider going to the local courthouse with just our parents and eloping. Then having the dinner “reception/marriage celebration” later as planned since we already have the venue.
What it comes down to is, as a guest if there is no dancing or activities for you to do, just dinner- would it feel less like a real wedding to you?
If our guests are just just going to see this event as a big family dinner and not a formal wedding reception we could save the $400+ we are going to spend on the ceremony and just have a post-elopement dinner.
Also I would love any other ideas of what else could be done to make it feel more like a reception.

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Latest activity by Brittany, on January 21, 2020 at 8:19 PM

Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on January 21, 2020 at 12:44 PM
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I don't feel like dancing is what makes an event feel like a wedding reception. Perhaps you could still participate in some of the typical reception traditions like speeches or a cake cutting?
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Dedicated August 2020
KandiKrix · on January 21, 2020 at 12:47 PM
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With anything that you do in wedding planning, always keep in mind what the purpose of it all really is. That is that you are getting married to your one and only. All weddings are different and I recommend going with what you can afford and what you really feel like doing.

Whether you decide to do a courthouse wedding, elope, or have a full ceremony it will be okay! It depends on how much you want your family to be there to witness the marriage or if it's more important for you two to have an intimate marriage just between you two. That is 100% your decision and I'm sure your family will support whatever you decide to go with.

As a guest I personally would be fine if there is no dancing (although I love to dance!) or other typical "wedding" activities because I would be there to support and enjoy your marriage with you, more so than needing to be entertained. It would still feel like a real wedding so don't worry about that! Maybe decide on if you want some music playing in the background and if you'd want to incorporate any other wedding traditions such as cake cutting or saying your vows, etc, and I'd also just let people know that the reception will just be dinner and music or so beforehand so they know what to expect. It can be as fancy as you'd like it to be, or just intimate and relaxing. Good luck!
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on January 21, 2020 at 12:50 PM
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I think it would still feel like a wedding, just a small one. If you can, I'd still have a short welcome speech by you & your new husband, then maybe one or two speeches (whether it's by a parent or close friend). I also think cake cutting would be nice. Maybe a photographer to take some big group shots too? Depending on budget, you could do something like personalized menus & favors too.
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Dedicated August 2020
Lau’Ren · on January 21, 2020 at 12:56 PM
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That’s a good point. It’s still a wedding, just a small wedding. We are planning on doing a small toast together and each mom will do a short speech. We have also hired a photographer for half the day and plan to decorate accordingly.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on January 21, 2020 at 12:59 PM
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I think it will feel like a wedding obviously not the same as a huge wedding with garter toss & bouquet toss & dances, but still a wedding!
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Dedicated August 2020
Lau’Ren · on January 21, 2020 at 1:01 PM
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This advice is golden. I almost got emotional reading it because it’s all so true. I think it’s the other aspects that will make it feel like a formal wedding celebration for me. Like the cake cutting, photographer, Spotify DJ in the background, wearing my dress, exchanging vows, etc. I think I will put dinner reception on the invitation so people know what to expect
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Dedicated August 2020
Lau’Ren · on January 21, 2020 at 1:02 PM
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I think the # of guests has really been affecting my opinion. It’s still a wedding though and I want to celebrate it!
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on January 21, 2020 at 1:02 PM
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I think it would feel like a wedding, since I would be seeing two people I have a relationship in some capacity with getting married! It will be perfect because it is your day!
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Dedicated August 2020
Lau’Ren · on January 21, 2020 at 1:18 PM
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Thank you! I hope so
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Champion October 2009
2d Bride · on January 21, 2020 at 1:36 PM
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People are likely to treat just a reception, some time after the wedding day, as much less important than a wedding. It's the ceremony that makes it feel like (and indeed be) a wedding.
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Dedicated August 2020
KandiKrix · on January 21, 2020 at 1:45 PM
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Aww, I am glad that it helped! Whatever you do it'll be a great wedding!
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Dedicated October 2020
Joanna · on January 21, 2020 at 2:45 PM
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Awh my girl, don't get stressed! Your wedding day will be so special and unique because it's YOUR day!
So my FHs youngest sister eloped to the courthouse in April, and then the family threw her a reception in August. Some of FHs siblings are not dancers so instead there was a cornhole/ bags tournament, while a DJ was playing. There were other games, and of course the kids were running around. It was definitely not the traditional reception, but it was still such a fun day!! Maybe find something that will be fun for everyone to participate in. Make a photo backdrop for fun photos with props, maybe bring games. Anything that's speaks to the two of you as a couple.
Honestly, your day will be spectacular. Have fun!! Good luck!!
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Super May 2019
KYLIE · on January 21, 2020 at 3:14 PM
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Don't stress! Our wedding had about 50 people. We had a very traditional ceremony with bridesmaids/groomsmen, an hour and a half long cocktail hour and then a dinner (beer/wine open bar for the whole event with a signature cocktail during the cocktail hour)—no dancing and no games or anything.

Our venue, a hotel, had a bar so we figured people could dance after if they really wanted to—instead, people hung out and watched sports, swam, etc. So clearly dancing wasn't really important to anyone! We did have toasts from my FIL, MoH and BMan. Not for one second did it feel like "just a family dinner". It 100% felt like our wedding day and definitely did for everyone in attendance.
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Dedicated August 2020
Lau’Ren · on January 21, 2020 at 3:45 PM
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Yay!!!! This gives me hope. There is no space for dancing but we are also having a signature bar and toasts for sure! I’m glad it was special for your attendants as well because that’s important to me to!
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Expert October 2017
Florida Marlins · on January 21, 2020 at 4:45 PM
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Our wedding was 11am in the Arboretum followed by a lunch reception, no dancing, and it felt very much like a wedding to everyone. especially us!! Go for your dream!
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Super May 2018
Summer987 · on January 21, 2020 at 6:40 PM
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My sister did this and it was fine. People just talked and just interacted with one another. She wore a wedding dress. She had small wedding cake delivered to the restaurant. They cut the cake and took pictures.
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Dedicated August 2020
Lau’Ren · on January 21, 2020 at 7:53 PM
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Yay! I’m glad to hear these positive stories
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April 2020
Brittany · on January 21, 2020 at 8:19 PM
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I went to a wedding in a firehouse basement that didn't even have a ceremony. The bride wore pink and the dinner was a potluck.
I had a total blast. There were about 40-50 people there and it was a really nice time catching up with people. The bride seemed really happy and it definitely felt more special than just a dinner.
I think mindset and decor can do a lot to elevate a space and experience to something more than just a dinner.
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Can i make this dinner feel more like a wedding?

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