Can I have this kind of wedding for this budget?

We are also unsure of where to hold the wedding. SO’s family is from the east coast (NY/NJ area), my family is from the east coast as well (DE/Philly/Southern Jersey area), and SO and I live in southern ca but we met in New England and are thinking of moving soon (potentially back east, potentially bay area). Our friends will be coming from SoCal, Nor Cal, Boston, New York, Philly, etc. Probably most of our guests are coming from the east coast so we’re thinking east coast, but I’m not dying to have it in the NY/NJ area (I just know how expensive it is and I typically have felt like the weddings I’ve attended there are kind of corporate, which is not the feel I’m looking for). We are thinking about an east coast destination wedding of some kind.

Non negotiables:

- several course plated dinner

- premium open bar

- passed hors devours

Like to haves:

- I'd really really like a fantastic band, I think they really take weddings to the next level. SO is OK with a DJ but we agree we want high quality entertainment

- A non-ballroom venue. Something with some uniqueness and natural beauty

- Outdoor ceremony space

- Location near a major airport with lots to do in the area. We have lots of travelers, as I mentioned. I know I just hate to fly in somewhere, drive two hours, and then stay in what feels like a strip mall to attend some big venue in the middle of nowhere.

- Other extras like a photo booth, some games for cocktail hour (assuming we get an outdoor space), etc.

Don’t care about:

-Flowers. I don’t want to spend money on flowers besides maybe bouquets (and even then thinking of going with wooden / paper flowers or some other non-floral bouquet – I have allergies). Large centerpieces at weddings are kind of a big pet peeve of mine because I like to see the other side of the table lol. Don’t want to spend a lot here – also really underlies my desire for a non-ballroom venue with some inherent beauty (I’m envisioning like, a vineyard or something like that, but IDK!)

-This is going to sound weird, but photography is not a huge priority for me. I basically want a competent decent photographer who can get the major shots, but I have no desire to essentially turn my wedding into an extended photoshoot. I also don’t want a videographer.

-Fancy invitations. Vistaprint is fine. Just want people to have the info

My SO seems to think that because we’re not interested in a lot of the “extras” (like flowers and décor) we’re going to end up coming under budget, and he doesn’t seem to believe me when I say the things we DO want (food, drink, etc) are what really adds up. I certainly know we *can* do it on less, but if we’re doing the wedding and spending the money, I really want to do it right. I just feel like the last thing I want to do is spend $60k and fall short.

So, do you think we can do it? Any suggestions on a destination?

I thought of another thing that's not unbelievably important to me - the dress. I obviously want a wedding dress, but don't feel like it needs to be from a super high end designer. I am petite, and typically more simple designs look better on me anyway. I really love BHLDN and definitely don't feel like I need to spend $3k+ on a dress.

We are hitting about 32k for 100 guests with pretty much all the same criteria

Where are you located?

Your budget might be totally doable in certain parts of the country, but not in others.

ETA duh you did say the location at the beginning of your first comment. whoops.

From what you said food/booze is what you care about the most, so I think in that area your budget will be just fine. But keep in mind that even slightly above average quality photographers can cost anywhere from $2-5k alone, so even though that isn't a priority for you, you might still have to pay a large chunk for that.

Check out Cescaphe Event Group. They have several venues throughout Philadelphia (we were married at Tendenza) and many of their venues could hold your guest list size.

I know from when we were looking a Saturday night at their most expensive venue was $180pp

Our venue was on"cheaper" end on Friday for $145pp in June.

Two venues have outdoor ceremony space.

SO MUCH FOOD. Premium top shelf open bar.

I cannot praise their service, planning enough.

Came with a DOC. 4 teir custom cake was in price as well. Linens included as well

Extras were music, flowers and valet parking/ceremony time.

Seriously, look them up online.

With your size guest list and must have, totally within budget here.

Oh yeah, taxes and service fee (which included tips) were included in the per person price. ) seriously can't beat their prices for what you get!

I am in NJ and your budget sounds possible. I am not sure where you were looking in NJ that was giving you a "too expensive" feeling. Where I am, for 100 guest it comes to about $10,000 - $15,000 (Food, cocktail hour, open bar, ceremony included). However that is southern Jersey, different parts of Jersey = different prices.

I would give the venues section on this site a look.

In NJ, that's gonna be tight for 250. If flowers and a photographer aren't a huge priority you can probably get away with this for 200. A good band in your area will probably take up 5-8k or more. As everyone always says on here, cutting the guest list is the best way to stay on budget. Have you considered a Friday or Sunday or a wedding in off season?? That might help.

I spent just under your budget for 80 in West Palm Beach FL. Our pp was more than this, but let's just say you find one for $175, you'd already be looking at $50k after tax and service fees. Having the wedding in a non-tradition space is also costly. I wanted an outdoor, formal wedding, and it was def more expensive than if I did a ballroom.

I think it's low but the only way you can known is to start getting quotes.

Side note: I would cheap out on invitations if you are having a formal event. The invitation should mimic the formality of the event.

I can't imagine cheaping out on photos, spend all tgat money to make a beautiful event but then end up with pictures that look like they could have been taken with an iPhone. There are so many brides on here who thought their "average" photographer would be fine, and they regret it.

If you end up liking Cescaphe Event Group and need budget friendly and not over the top, suggestions on photography, flowers or anything let me know. Our flowers and photography in totally was 5k but you can totally cut that down if needed. I went over the top on my flowers. And my

Photographer was great and price was better

Were hosting 150 guests for 35k we live in NJ

If you want to go ALL OUT https://www.parkchateau.com/

I second Cescaphe Event Group (Very beautiful locations)

Thanks all - the area in NJ I'm referring to is more the new york area. I also know that I've been living away from family for awhile, and I feel like I've ended up going to weddings at a lot of "venues" that aren't in very interesting areas and have a corporate "wedding factory" type feel. So for me it's a big long flight, an hour+ drive, and then kind of have nothing to do and I just don't really want that for my guests. I'd really rather be near a city/tourist destination. I was thinking it might be nice to have a wedding somewhere like Newport RI? Maybe Boston? Something like that.

SO wants other things like a late night snack and a Viennese desert offering. I want these things to, but keep trying to tell him it might not be in budget. He thinks I'm insane because our budget is so high. It's crazy out there!

Also, a Saturday wedding is a priority to me, but I'm not picky on season. My biggest fear is spending all this money and having a "meh" wedding that feels cheap to people.

Anyone have any information on how much great bands cost? That is probably the most extravagent thing I really want

It could be possible, but honestly, I'd be looking at the 'must have' list, because frankly, no one has 200 people they must have.

Here's the thing. All of your 'stuff' should go together in some way; you don't do a big fancy wedding with a large guest list and then do mason jars full of fake flowers. It just doesn't go together. Once you decide on a venue that will dictate a lot of other elements.

NJ isn't completely unaffordable, but if you're honestly looking at the Saturday of LD weekend, you need to get on it, venue wise.

Some of the more affordable places that can accommodate a large group:

The Olde Mill Inn (the bonus here is that they have beautiful B&B style hotel right there)

The Sterling Ballroom in Tinton Falls (the are a hotel venue, but they do a suprisingly lovely job) In general, I'd stay away from the Jersey Shore on your date. Or any shore, for that matter...

The Palace, in Somerset; lots of hotels within minutes. A terrific venue

The Tides in North Haledon ; their big room is beautiful and the gardens are lovely

The Westwood at Garwood; wonderful staff, no outside space.

The Manor in West Orange Hotels next door

Good luck!

and oh yeah....the Park Chateau. Unreal. Gorgeous.

Agree with @Celia, a formal sit down meal with lack luster decor would feel cheap, even when it isn't...

@Celia - the "date" in WW is just random. I think we're looking at anytime from Summer of 2018 to Spring of 2019. I just put something because WW made me.

Of you stay in southNJ or philly your budget could definitely be doable. I would take the 30K and decide that by estimated number of guests and see what that is and that is your price per person after tax and gratuity as a good starting point

Knowing your budget you might like a place we looked at that was way out of our price range - glen foerd on the delaware or look at Ashford estates in the central NJ area

If you can look at Thursdays or Fridays, you'll be golden. My big Thursday places are the Rock Island Lake Club and Bear Brook, their sister venue, The Tides, The Palace and The Grove and the Westmount. All gorgeous.

Friday in March? Negative cha ching!

Bands in philly are I THINK we're anywhere from 3-10k depending on size and how long.

Also the Cescaphe events with ceremony included were 6.5hr affairs.

Philly is close to airport, plenty to do, plenty of accommodations.

Also @Celia. Thank you for your recommendations. My parents actually got married at one of the places you mentioned! Lovely spot

I understand what everyone is saying about a fancy meal with cheap decor. And on the guest list - we really do both have large inclusive families (We have italian, greek, and jewish families, large weddings are typical in ALL of these cultures) and again, it's one of those things where if we're spending the money already we want to have our friends that we love there. SO is a former athlete so his friend groups tend to "team" sized portions. Everyone is married/in relationships. It adds up.