Can asking someone to be your bridesmaid ever improve your relationship?

Weddings amplify the feelings that are already there--they're like that serum in the Marvel movies.

If there's already tension or estrangement, putting someone in your wedding party will often simply magnify the problems in your relationship with that person. I highly recommend against making her a bridesmaid.

I agree with PP--if your fiancé would, in fact, like her to participate, he can ask her to stand on his side as a groomswoman.

I'm having my FSIL as my bridesmaid. We've always gotten along well when we see each other, we just aren't very close. I want nothing more than for our relationship to grow over the years (which I told her) and she couldn't agree more. So while we aren't the best of friends yet, I'm very happy I chose her to be in my bridal party and I know it also means a lot to my FH that I care about my relationships with his family. FH has my BIL (my sister's husband) as one of his groomsmen and their relationship has already gotten closer since he asked him.

I can see what you mean by extending an olive branch to her because maybe that could improve your relationship.

I asked my FH stepsister and his cousin to be bridesmaids. We've gotten much closer since asking. Now his cousin has asked me to be her bridesmaid too!

I barely spoke to them before asking and now I would consider his cousin one of my closest friends. They really grew up together and were very close growing up until they were teenagers. I feel like I've kind of brought them back together!

FH stepsister is younger (just turned 21) and she has been really cute throughout this too. She now refers to me as her "sister" or "sister in law" and she was VERY excited that I included her as a bridesmaid.

Personally, I've found bridal party experiences to be more harmful than helpful. Being a bride and planning a wedding is very stressful. It's best to have those around you who are ready to deal with a little bit of crazy, even if you don't mean to be! People who don't know you as well might understand the impact of the stress very differently.

But it depends on your personality, too! I am lawyer and very type A. I don't like things I can't control and I am not very go with the flow - which has made wedding planning tough! I'm really glad I didn't decide to extend an olive branch to a few people. They would have HATED me, I swear. Those closest to me have been able to look me in the eye and tell me to chill out.