Calling your in-laws mom and dad?

I do not think that calling them by their names is disrespectful at ALL. I don’t call dh’s parents mom and dad (though we have two sets each with divorces and remarriages) and he doesn’t call mine that. I think this is all about preferences for each person/couple.

I call them by their first names. When and if we have children I'll probably call them whatever the kids call them, especially when the kids are around. I probably wouldnt ever call them mom or dad except in a kinda joking way. Plus they're divorced so it would be weird to call them mom/dad and their spouse by what? Their name probably.

I don't think that is weird or disrespectful at all! My fiancé's parents both passed away before we started dating but he calls my parents mom and dad. Definitely just preference though!

It depends on what they want you to call them. I can understand why my in-laws did that when they were newly weds. My FH’s grandma helped them out sooo much with free child care and my MIL married into their family when she was only 17. With couples being older and older to wed and more financially stable, it would be difficult calling in-laws mom and dad when you aren’t dependent on them at all.
I don’t call my in laws mom and dad, I refer to them as “Mr. and Ms.” followed by their first name.

I don't know anyone who does this. Maybe it is more common in certain regions or cultures. Personally, I would find it weird to do so, although I have no problem with others doing whatever works for them.

My mom calls my grandma mom, it always weirds me out. I’ll probably always call my in laws by their name lol.

I call my husbands parents by their first names, although I don’t think they’d mind if I called them mom and dad it’s just weird to me. I do call his grandparents grandma and grandpa which is also weird but when I met them I asked what their names were so I could make sure to get them correct and they just said grandma and grandpa so 🤷‍♀️
My sister in law’s husband calls them mom and dad though.

I think it is a personal preference. I plan to call my in laws by their first name after our wedding.

I think it’s better to call them by first names

I call them by their names but we dont see them very often. We spend a lot more time with my family. As of now my H calls my parents by their names but refers to them as Mom and Dad. I could see that changing once we have kids though.
My Mom called my Granny "Mom" and my Dad called my grandparents "Mom" and "Dad" but I think that was more based on their relationship.

Not weird at all. I only call my own mom & dad by that. Not even my stepdad. I call my FH's parents by their first name. My FH calls my dad "dad" but they are super duper close.

We have a 3 year old daughter, so now they’re usually Nana, Granddad, and Aunt *her first name for stepmom. Lol. Otherwise first names, but kinda avoid calling his dad anything 😂

I think it depends on your relationship. I would never in 10000 years call my FMIL mom. What have you been calling them all along? It doesn’t need to change just because you’re engaged.

I would never call my in-laws mom and dad. In my first marriage, I started calling mine by their first names. Then when children came along, they did the usual thing of giving the grandparents names (e.g., Pop Pop), and I gradually switched over to those names. In my second marriage, I have almost no contact with my wife's family, but when I do, I use first names.

My fiances mother passed away before i met him but his father was elderly and sick with heart and kidney problems so we ended up moving in with him after i had only met him once (of course he didnt want to move...) and INSISTED i call him dad to the point he refused to acknowledge me unless i did for a bit in the beginning when i tried to call him literally anything else... i wanted to use one of the grandkids name but apparently that "how they are"

it made me so uncomfortable it is literally bringing back the feeling just to reflect on the memory.. it felt like i was insulting my father... and stabbing my devoted, loving, motherlike step mom in the back because i dont call her mom...

in my family my fiance will call my mom both mom and by her first name (by his choice) and her husband and my step mom he calls by their first name because thats what i have always called them, and my dad will always be mr stevens just like his parents are mr and mrs stevens still to all of their children's spouses

i feel like if youre uncomfortable you should not do it... every family is different and most people are probably tolerant to a reasonable discussion about why someone doesnt want to do something...

i hope everything work out very well for you and sending good vibes your way

I call them by their first names. I don’t find it awkward at all. I think it just depends on what you want to call them.

I think it just depends on your relationship and what they want you to call them. I call my future in laws mom and dad. I think that comes from watching my parents call their in laws mom and dad. I grew up hearing it so for me it's natural if I feel close to them. Which I do. FMIL is amazing! And she knows that my mom is my first mom and we have a bond no one could ever replace.

But, if you are more comfortable calling them by their first names, then do that. It's not rude or disrespectful at all.

We've been married 30+ yrs. Initially, I called my in-laws by their first names. By the time our daughter was born, FIL had passed away, and I routinely called my MIL "gramma Katie" because that's how daughter referred to her. Honestly, over time, I grew to love her so deeply and appreciate all she's done in her life to care for my husband and his six siblings, always sacrificing any personal desires for her family that she loves so much, that at some point I started referring to her as "mom." It just seemed natural. She's now 97, with significant memory issues, but otherwise in pretty good health. My own mom has been gone for nearly 10 years now, but I'm lucky in that I still have a mom in my life.... Do what's natural for you, but be open to that evolving over time.

I call his dad dad lol his step mom I just call her by her first name lpl

So I go back and forth on this so much. FH says to call his parents mom and dad, and I feel awkward calling them that, and I also feel awkward calling them mr./mrs. first names, so i usually awkwardly avoid saying either FH calls my parents mom and dad, which is completely fine with me and my parents