Calling off wedding?

In this case, I would call it postponing, not calling it off.

I don't have this experience, so I'm sorry I can't offer any advice. But best of luck!

You could postpone the wedding?

I think that's a healthy thing to do as long as both of you plan on going to counseling.

I have not been in this situation, but if you are thinking about calling off the wedding, I would. I would then seek counseling to try to work through the issues as to why you want to call it off.

Why do you want to call off the engagement? If its finances, can you just have a longer engagement and push it back.

I called off an engagement years ago and stayed in the relationship. We ended up breaking up in the long run and I wish I had ended it when I ended the engagement.

Couples counseling may benefit your situation better than internet strangers

I haven't personally but I commend you for making the tough choice to push the wedding until you are 100% ready to be married.

Are you looking in to counseling for you and your spouse?

Never been in this situation but you seem very mature and responsible. Props to you for being able to pull back and really evaluate the situation before making such a big commitment.

They can be resolved with some effort and some counseling.

You don't have to call off the engagement, you can still be engaged! Just postpone the wedding. Good luck to you!

My FH and I did postpone our wedding before. We had issues that we needed to work through and a wedding/marriage at that time would have broken us. Dont be ashamed of postponing your wedding. Its more important to heal and work on your relationship than to rush towards something that could cause more pain or harm to your relationship.

I somewhat did...just didn't "officially" call it off. We were planning a longer engagement anyway because we were so young and I wanted to wait until I was more financially stable (thank goodness 20-year-old me was old enough to realize this). Never actually *planned* anything. I toured a couple venues but never booked. Eventually, I just quit wearing my ring and a few months after I did that I ended things with him (and gave the ring back). I wish I had just ended it once I realized I didn't want to marry him.

Good luck! I hope you figure things out.

I haven't been through it myself but my FH did. They ended up breaking up a month or two after they called off their engagement though. They hadn't set a date yet, but I think it was still pretty traumatic for both of them.

I think if you're still in love and committed to be together, you'd be better off postponing the wedding (not to any certain date) and staying engaged. Then you could get counseling and try to work through these issues. But from the way you worded it, I can't tell if that's the case. If you think he's not the one for you and there are major issues that can't be fixed, it might just be best to leave entirely.

I think it's incredibly mature of you to do this and it takes real courage either way so props to you. And I'm sorry that you're going through this.

I've postponed before, and ended up calling it off completely a few months later. I agree with Houligan; I wish I had just ended the relationship then.

Good luck!!! I know it is a difficult situation!

Yeah I wouldn't say calling off. I'd say postponing

I havent been in the same situation so I can't offer advice. But it sounds like your heart isnt where it needs to be at the moment and the best thing you can do is follow your heart. Best of luck and I hope everything works out.

My parents actually called off their original engagement but stayed together. My dad originally proposed because that's what society said was the logical next step after they'd been together for so long and after my mom had followed him across the country for his job. He realized he just wasn't ready for marriage yet, even though he still wanted to be with my mom, so they called it off. He re-proposed about a year later once he truly felt ready and they've been happily married now for over 25 years.

It can be done without ruining the relationship, but it may not be easy. You'll both truly need to examine the reasons why it's been called off/postponed to determine if it still makes sense to be together.

I would say it is a ruined relationship in my mind. I would say you have issues before marriage probably best to leave before you get married and the problems get worse.

Not a good sign. I don't know what your issues are, but changing people is incredibly unlikely. If you believed counseling would help, I think you would have realized that without asking this question on a public forum.