Calling in-laws "mom" and "dad"

I think its a matter of choice and how strong your relationship is with them. I have an awesome relationship with my MIL, she looks out for me and loves me like the daughter she never had. Lemme tell you that she's not an easy person to get along with either, but we both clicked! Anyway, I think if you have a strong enough relationship and they dont mind what you call them, then call them what you feel most comfortable with. I would never call her(MIL) mom, no matter how much of a mother she is to me, I think that would be disrespectful to my own mother, and I wouldn't expect my husband to call my mom, mom either. This is how I feel about it in my own situation, I mean we both have our own mothers, so I don't see the need to call our in laws mom and dad. So maybe your reading too much into it, its a matter of choice and also your relationship with them. You aren't expected to call them anything but their first name or nickname if they have one, and I think they're not either.

Been married nearly 23 years - just can't call the Mom & Dad. Occasionally its by first name, but generally its rather vague. They've never told me what to call them & I was too intimidated by them for the first many years to ask!I guess be glad they have voiced some kind of opinion...

In my case, my FH calls his mom by her first name most of the time and calls his dad "papa." They think of me and treat me like the daughter they never had, and I think of them as my other mom and dad, but I plan on just calling them by their first names... but it has never come up in conversation...

You should not be offended that your FMIL prefers that her son not call your mother "mom." Think about it from her perspective: she is his mother and probably cherishes her role as "mom." It can be a very emotional thing to feel like there is someone else that can fill your shoes (whether or not this is the actual case). It's not about whether or not she accepts you as part of her family, it is about her bond with her son. I would respect her wishes, although it is up to your FH what he wants to call your parents.

I totally agree with the previous posts! First and foremost it does depend on your relationship with them, but i believe it will be awkard to switch from what you have been calling them to something different. I also feel that it could be disrespectful towards your own mother, unless she is not around. However i do believe its a personal choice, I just cant seem to call my future in-laws mom and dad, its simpler to call them by their name, howver my fiance call my mom and dad what i do, momma and daddy, but at the same time the call him son! My mom started calling him son because we started dating around the same time both my sister and brother got married, so i guess he was a "replacement" lol, but honestly it was just a joke, but regardless I would continue calling them by the way you do now, unless the begin to call you daughter or something.

Best thing to do is ask and than write it down in case you forget!!! I forgot what my mil's husband would like my children to call him and it is bothering me now for a couple of years!!!

The question is what have you been calling them. I think once you are married, calling them by them by their first names is appropriate. If his mother is not comfortable with her son calling your mother mom. I would think she would be as equally uncomforatble with you calling her mom. Keep it simple. Don;t nmake more of it than needed.

Wow, I never thought of "mom" as being such a sacred title! I guess it's just weird for me, because my family has always been very close, and I grew up with my parents calling their in-laws "mom" and "dad." I have no problem calling my FMIL by her first name, but I hate the thought of my FH calling my mom by hers. It just...doesn't feel right. =)

Thanks for all your responses, though! They have been very helpful!

I call my MIL mom, but I can't bring myself to call my FIL Dad.. I don't know, probably because we don't get along all that well

Jessica

http://jmgjeweldesign.etsy.com

I just thought of something: Shouldn't it be up to the mom in question as far as what she wants to be called? If my FMIL wants me to call her by her first name, fine. I'm okay with it. But if my mom wants my FH to call her "mom," isn't that her choice? Her title? I think FMIL is overstepping her bounds by telling him what he can and can not call my mom. But that's just me.

I questioned my mother about how she would feel if I called my MIL "Mom". She said it wouldn't bother her at all, she does the same with her in-laws. She also told me that it is up to the parents to request it - My MIL would have to ask me to call her "mom" before I do it. Until then, it's by first names. My mom will ask it of her FSIL.

My mother died years ago, I'm very sorry but I cannot bring myself to call anyone else Mom, this ticks off FMIL but Oh well that's the way it is.

I call my fil and mil mom2 and dad2 its goofy i know but my in laws wouldn't have it any other way they laugh every time i say mom2 how are u today