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DesertPolarBear
Expert December 2017

Business owners no tip? How do we feel about this one

DesertPolarBear, on June 5, 2017 at 3:01 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 21

As you can see I'm a ways out yet from my wedding date, I am just trying to prepare the budget in as much detail as possible. In planning gratuities I keep reading that you don't "have" to tip any vendor that owns their business. How do people feel about this? Is it genuinely abided by?

My photographer (like a lot I think) owns her company and I can't quite imagine not tipping her at all - especially when I do tip the second shooter. Ditto to the videographer and the DJ. I certainly don't want to abide by this particular tip if it's generally ignored, I am not about stiffing vendors! I guess since the idea is they are getting more of the margin themselves, I could understand tipping a bit lighter but I just want to make sure I'm in line with norms at the very least. Let me know what your plans are for these vendors, and thanks!

21 Comments

Latest activity by Waleed, on January 10, 2025 at 8:45 AM
  • firstoneat56
    Master August 2017
    firstoneat56 ·
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    I would tip as long as the service warrants it.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    I don't believe in that. We tipped every single one of our vendors. Here's what I tipped:

    Venue: Maitre D: $700 | Bridal attendants (2): $100 each

    Cinematographers (company) (2 cinematographers): $100 each

    Photographer (own business) (2 shooters): $100 each

    Florist: $75 (for the staff that delivered. My DOC actually never got to tip them, so she gave me back the money. I'm going to send them a check in the mail.)

    DJ (own business): $150

    String quartet (own business): $80 ($20 each)

    H/MUA (own business): 20% of all services (my trial and day of was $640). My MOH and mother tipped 20% as well for their services.

    Officiant: $100

    DOC (owner w/ 2 assistants): $500

    Photobooth (1 attendant): $75

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  • Jo
    WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
    Jo ·
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    I'm so glad you asked this question, I'm really interested to hear what people say. I've always heard the same "rule" but I don't know where it comes from or how many people follow it. Following!

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  • Sarah
    Super June 2017
    Sarah ·
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    It's not required for business owners but bonuses/tips/cash thank yous are generally appreciated by vendors even when they own their business. Great reviews are also appreciated. I'd wait to tip your photographer until you get your pictures back and see how you like the final product.

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  • J
    Super September 2017
    Jenny ·
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    I think it's a dumb rule and sounds like someone at some point invented it as an excuse not to tip. While I generally hate the tipping culture in America (it's not typical where I come from, instead "tips" are built into prices, and the level of service tends to be more consistent), since I've moved here, I have no objection to rewarding good service and see no reason to distinguish based on whether they own a business. Especially if it's a small business with only a few people - it just doesn't make sense.

    In the end it comes down to the underlying reason for tipping.

    Are you tipping because of good service?

    Or are you tipping because otherwise they don't earn anything? (I was shocked when I found out what restaurants paid their servers without tips)

    It's usually some combination of both for the employees - like a minimum 15% on restaurant tips, 20%-25% if they do a good job.

    Obviously, if it's a business owner, if they don't earn anything that's their problem with their business model, but if the underlying reason for typing is good service, why not tip?

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  • J
    Super September 2017
    Jenny ·
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    Double post

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  • Svetlana
    VIP October 2018
    Svetlana ·
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    This really is a topic of conversation a lot lately. WWJO and Gymie what are your thoughts on tipping students doing their externship at your venue? It is technically part of their college credit/

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  • DesertPolarBear
    Expert December 2017
    DesertPolarBear ·
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    Thanks for the feedback all. My gut was that it just would feel very weird not to tip my photographer, DJ and videographer at all unless they did something absolutely atrocious but I came across the rule so many times I wanted to ask at least

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  • Sarah
    Super June 2017
    Sarah ·
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    @wwjo the rule comes from the premise that staff are low paid hourly wage earners while owners are setting their prices and presumably pricing in reasonable profits that go directly into their coffers. That being said a lot of small business owners operate on slim margins and can always use extra cash too.

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  • Private_User832
    Master August 2017
    Private_User832 ·
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    I struggle with this one myself. Just the other day the owner, and my hair stylist for my wedding, did my hair trial. I paid $100 and I tipped her and I did of felt like, man she's making a fortune off me ha

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    @Svetlana - I'd tip them. College students need to eat. lol

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  • Svetlana
    VIP October 2018
    Svetlana ·
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    Same rate as the regular staff? I probably won't know until a day or two before what the student situation will be. My venue does a lot of training for the hospitality majors at the local college so I could have a student with the DOC or with the DJ.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    LOL @catlady! The tip for the maitre d includes servers and bartenders (the maitre d distributed the tip). I think my banquet manager told me it's approximately $3-$5 per guest.

    @Svet - MAYBE a little less then? If they aren't doing as much then I probably wouldn't tip as much as the regular staff.

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  • C
    Devoted May 2017
    Chanelle ·
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    FH tipped everyone, I think the people in Starbucks got tips for no reason. Lol

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  • Mrs. Sponge
    Master April 2018
    Mrs. Sponge ·
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    This was really helpful info. My wedding is also not for awhile but my photographer is awesome and I can't imagine not tipping her!

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  • lyla
    Master July 2017
    lyla ·
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    I think the rule about tipping is based on the fact that people who own their own businesses set their own prices. FH owns a business and I had a part-time business when I was in law school. I would have never expected or accepted a tip nor would FH. When you try to tip a business owner, they often flat-out refuse in my experience.

    I'm going to give a nice gift to my photographer but tip their second shooter in cash. For some reason, gifts seem more appropriate to me for a business owner. Giving a $100 tip would be like a 2% tip, and that almost seems like an insult IMO. I'll write tons of review for them and give referrals, which is the best tip IMO.

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  • DesertPolarBear
    Expert December 2017
    DesertPolarBear ·
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    @Lyla - thanks for the perspective. My family owns a business and I know ownership/management will typically keep themselves out of the tip if they are working in a group and split it among the others, but if they are alone they usually accept the tip. It does seem like there are a lot of perspectives but I doubt I will offend by rewarding good service at least haha

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Ha ha ha ha...paying low wages. Right. Any business owner who wants decent staff can't get away with that.

    But anyway. I am,obviously, a business owner. As such, (and I think I can speak for my colleagues, based on my almost daily conversations with them) this is my opinion.

    Anyone who does an over the top job for you should be tipped; I'm not necessarily talking about the bagel counter person who literally puts six bagels in a bag and rings you up. Unless it's a really spectacular bag.

    But your business owners are the first people to go to the mat to make your wedding great; our name is on it afterall. The florist will reorder flowers that don't look quite right. The DJ will find tha version of your favorite song. Your officiant will talk you off the ledge, probably a couple of times. Your photographer will find engagement settings that only they know about. We want you to be happy; we want you to review us, we want you to tell your friends and family about us. And we probably love what we're doing and don't slap things together; not if you pick good pros.

    Cost overruns will be ours alone to own. If there are unforeseen hours involved, guess who's in the truck or under the chuppa? If a salaried employee bails, we're the ones picking up the slack.

    Could one argue that we should be doing this anyway? Of course, but it's nice to feel appreciated. Everyone, owner or not.]

    For an owner, the best, best 'tip' is a detailed, raving review. But if you really feel coddled? Tip too. On the flip side? If you don't even feel like you got the service you expected, don't. And if any vendor has a 'suggested' tip written into their contract or on their website?

    Pass.

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  • lyla
    Master July 2017
    lyla ·
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    @Celia. *slow clap*

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  • T Marie
    Super October 2017
    T Marie ·
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    @gymrat your breakdown is awesome. It will definitely come in handy especially in our area (Long Island).

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