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Savvy October 2019

Burnt-out, Needing Advice

Nicole, on August 20, 2019 at 11:43 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9

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First off, I LOVE the forums here because this is such a great group full of advice! Have any of you just been so burnt-out and emotionally drained from the wedding planning? I have severe regret about having a wedding at this point (50 some days out). Both moms are not only nit-picking and VERY opinionated but now they've got together which now feels as if they are ganging up on me. I've gotten to the point where I've stopped fighting for what I want and just let them go with whatever because I just cant fight it anymore. How do you tell them you dont want to do everything they want when they are helping financially. (Neither are paying a ton but both are contributing) I feel like this "gives them a say" about anything and everything and so do they. I am normally a strong-willed and very stubborn person (just ask my fh) but I cant even stand up for myself anymore cause I'm so tired. People keep saying it will be worth it on the day but if i keep letting them overrule me I'm afraid it wont be my day anymore. I'm not looking for perfect I just want a day about my fiance and myself not everyone and their opinion.

I'll also add I've given them each and together things to do so they would just focus on that but they still keep on me about how they think I should/shouldn't do this or that for EVERY decision. There was even something to be said about MY shoes!

Really needed to vent but also open to any advice to keep my day from being taken over and to keep myself sane.

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Nicole, on August 23, 2019 at 10:46 AM

Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on August 21, 2019 at 12:20 AM
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Ugh! Be strong. I would take a break from them to gather your strength. If they text/call just say you’re not feeling well and you’ll catch up over the weekend.

A few couples here who had regrets say one big reason was having a wedding others wanted instead of staying true to their vision. Just in case that helps!
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on August 21, 2019 at 12:24 AM
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Stay strong! Speak up for yourself and remind them it’s YOUR day. Don’t share so much with them and if they ask tell them you haven’t decided certain things. Maybe they will get the hint.
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Expert October 2019
Samantha · on August 21, 2019 at 1:08 AM
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Girl, I feel ya! Our wedding is in 53 days and up until a week ago I was absolutely dreading it. Everyone was giving their opinion when I hadn't even asked for it, I completely regretted planning a wedding. I still kind of regret the entire thing but at this power its too late to cancel. What's helped me is taking a step back for a day or two, not answering any questions about the wedding and focusing on myself. I finally learned to say no to people and am now getting excited for the wedding. But I was really ready to throw the towel in and cancel the whole thing.
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Savvy October 2019
Nicole · on August 21, 2019 at 1:32 PM
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Thank you! I guess I need to try and keep them at arms length with the wedding for now.
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Savvy October 2019
Nicole · on August 21, 2019 at 1:33 PM
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It's so hard without one of them getting mad at me. I could literally say something like " I think I'd rather do this" and then I'm a b**** and being difficult.
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Savvy October 2019
Nicole · on August 21, 2019 at 1:34 PM
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I'm going to try and take a break from them and wedding stuff at least until my shower this weekend and maybe a little next week too. I hate to temporarily cut them out but I think I need to for a few days.
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Super October 2021
Suzie · on August 21, 2019 at 1:54 PM
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Maybe you can give them each an area that they can contribute their opinions on, and ONLY that. Sit them down, separately, and say you have your own dream and visions, but would love their input on _____. This way maybe they will focus all that energy on one thing, instead of everything. Otherwise, just stand your ground! This is your day, and contributing does not make it theirs. You can also just say, "thanks for the advice, I will take that into consideration" but just go with what you want. Good luck, girl!
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Super March 2020
Concetta · on August 23, 2019 at 10:24 AM
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Be strong and hang in there! it is amazing how the opinions of others have us feeling regretful. In regards to them contributing, I feel like it is so hard but on the other hand they should kind of feel strong to voice their opinion on what they are helping with not every single detail
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Savvy October 2019
Nicole · on August 23, 2019 at 10:46 AM
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Thanks everyone! Thankfully I have an amazing sister who pretty much sat my mom down and told her to lay off me (I would have never asked her to but she saw how bad I was feeling) and I'm hoping it stays pretty quiet for the next few weeks. I'm ready for married life and to be done with the wedding!! Thankful for great ladies to stand by me and a wonderful FH.
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