Budgeting Disagreements

You definitely have to have a budget you both agree on. Chances are he doesn’t realize how expensive things are and once he starts to look with you at a venue, sees food pricing, cake, rings etc he will realize it’s more expensive then he thinks. Where is he coming in at for a budget now?

Are you both paying for the wedding or just you? How do you split/share expenses now? The only concern I have here is that you mention multiple times that you alone set the budget. Why wasn’t that a discussion between the two of you? Can you actually afford $5k? Just because it’s a lot less than the average doesn’t mean it’s doable for everyone.

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Agree with this. A lot of money to you isn't the same as a lot of money to someone else. This is something that you should have discussed together. If you share expenses and can afford a $5k wedding, perhaps you should break down vendor costs and show him how you came up with this number. Maybe he doesn't realize how much things actually cost. Either way, this is a decision that you should have made together.

I think you should take him to a few venues, cake places, caterers and etc... So he has a better idea of how expensive weddings can be.

We did our whole wedding with every single expense for less than 10k. it’s very doable you just need to look in the right places and for the right deals. Not every vendor wants to take all your money, we were super picky with who we hired for that specific reason.

It's possible to have a wedding on less than $5k. That's not to say you or any one is wrong for wanting a budget of $5k or even more than that but it's possible to do it for less. Mine will probably be $6k but originally we were going to do $3k. My FH parents are giving us some and my siblings also offered to pay for some things. As for a ring you can totally get a ring for less than $1k I am not sure what you mean by quality but if you mean it won't turn green or react negativily to your skin then yes it's possible my ring was under $400 have been wearing it for a year in a half it's still shiny, my finger is fine. Talk about the budget hopefully you can compromise. I wouldn't go into the conversation trying to convince him that your right but open to discuss.

I agree with the previous posters that he probably doesn’t know what all goes into a wedding and how much things cost. So I would ask him what he has in mind and then show him about how much it would cost. You can google search estimated costs for about everything. Then show him the things he hasn’t considered, such as the invitations and postage, favors, flowers, etc. Hopefully that will make him more willing to work out the budget with you.

That being said, I personally think $30k is an obscene amount of money to spend on a wedding, but my friend who is getting married three months after that is planning on spending that much. Everyone’s budget is different for all sorts of reasons. What you really need to do is to figure out how much you can actually afford, and how much you want to spend. The two numbers are not always the same. We are not spending nearly as much as we could, and will still have a perfect wedding. I’m sure you will be able to work this out and have a wonderful wedding!

The two of you need to sit down and figure out the type of wedding, guest list, and budget. If he wants a big wedding and just doesn't understand costs, then maybe he can be told to try to find a venue/food/alcohol for the number of guests he wants that he thinks is within budget (remembering that the reception is typically about half the cost of the whole wedding). If he wants to elope with just the two of you, and you want the bigger wedding, then the two of you need to come to some compromise. If he's contributing in any way--or if you plan to share finances after the wedding--you need to make decisions together.

How involved is he in the planning? He needs to know how much everything costs. FH and I set our budget around what we can afford and what we want. He really wants a DOC and DJ, and I was on the fence about a DJ. Our venue is 2k, we can BYOB, moissanite ring cost 3k, our catering will be maybe 60 per head, we're using a DJ and DoC. All that is adding up to at least 25k for an 80 guest wedding, even though I intend to wear an off the rack evening gown and use Costco flowers. FH initally wanted to spend 5k, but he quickly came around when he saw the individual prices.

I think it would be possible to spend 5k if you got married in a public location (a permit would cost a couple hundres) and had a meal at a restaurant after (no dance floor or dj)