Budget help/guest gift contribution

So this is going to be very different for everyone. In my culture we only gift cash. And that’s usually $100/person but I recognize in American culture they might be a lot. And also some people may not even give gifts. Or some people may give you a gift that’s not got a large monetary value. Essentially what I’m trying to tell you is there’s no way to tell this. You just have to accept whatever is given and spend what you’re comfortable with

For budgeting purposes, I would assume that you'll recoup about $0. There's no other number that's safe to assume.

There’s really no way to know the answer because it varies so much so I wouldn’t budget for any return. H and I grew up in relatively similar socioeconomic situations and his family’s (aunts and uncles and adult cousins with their SOs) gifts averaged over $300 per couple and my family’s gifts averaged less than $100 per couple.

View Quoted Comment It’s hard because we have already started receiving gifts from people and I don’t know if they are for the wedding or shower and they aren’t labeled or anything.

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I'm not sure it really matters which event it's for, you would thank them just the same.

View Quoted Comment Well right... but what I’m saying is that expecting nothing isn’t working if we are getting gifts already?

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Right, but that doesn't mean that you should expect them. You should budget like you're going to receive absolutely nothing and that every penny you spend will be just that, a penny spent. That way any monetary gifts are just a bonus.

View Quoted Comment This is the same in my American (East Coast) culture. But in different areas of the country or even within that area, it could be different.


We plan to spend what we have & anything recouped will be a bonus (and basically go towards savings that have been a little less lately with the wedding).

Assume you will receive nothing. You cannot plan or budget a wedding depending on what you think you’ll receive. Realistically you will get gifts from most guests, but you simply won’t know how much or what in many cases, so it isn’t advisable to count on it at all.


My default for any wedding I go to is $100 cash or to their honeymoon fund plus some small $50-75 item on their registry. If I attend with a guest/+1, I double to $200 cash in order to cover both our dinner costs at the reception. That’s if we’re just average friends. If we’re close friends, i give more cash. If we’re family, I give much more. In my culture, that’s just what you do. We will make registries for friends who come from cultures where you give physical things but really what we all appreciate is cash so we give each other cash. I have cousins and friends who keep Excel sheets of how much they received before from each of their friends so that when that person gets married, they can gift them Arborio least that much and more if they’re able. This is what I and FH will be doing too to keep track. Reciprocity is very important and people were generous so you want to be generous back l. However, you know your crowd best. Do you have a sibling or cousin? Ask them what amounts people have for their wedding and you have a good proxy for what you’ll get.