Budget Arguement Rant

I started out super excited for the wedding and planned a bunch already (Oct 10, 202). We already knew our venue, which rents at $175/hr and booked the date, I bought a dress, and lots of the decor. I even found a great photographer that does a payment plan that I booked. We had already decided to keep it small- 40-60 people invited.


Then I found out we're expecting our first child together in December. That really affected our budget- almost all of my money has to go into buying a new vehicle (car seat doesn't fit in my Camaro), medical bills (I have insurance but it sucks for pregnancy/birth-related expenses), and we have a major repair to make on the house. He also has to hire a lawyer to fix a child support issue (his ex wife filed a false statement on his income, and now owes monthly more child support than he makes in a month, and is potentially going to jail for 6 months. I make 3 times more than him- I pay the mortgage, water/ sewage/trash and the electric bill. Plus my car payment, insurances, cell phone, and student loan. My parents gave us $2000 to spend on the wedding and the rest has been on me- he's not able to put any money into the wedding right now. He pays the cable/internet and the cell phones for him and his son from a previous marriage, and his car insurance. We have no money for catering, DJ, rentals, liability insurance for alcohol and the bar cost itself. So, I decided instead of stressing and being financially irresponsible, I'd like a cake and punch reception without alcohol instead, since that's what we could afford (my sister is gifting us a cake). We can't do our own food at this venue, because they require a business license and business insurance for it. The venue provides soda, water, and lemonade for only 65 cents per person.

So I sat down to speak to him about how he would feel about the changes. He absolutely refuses- he wants catering and the whole works. He wants a big reception. He said he'll get a THIRD job at some point in a few months (if he doesn't gonto jail) and start paying any extra money he has after bills towards the wedding and we could book things a few months out from it. In the mean time, he refuses to talk or make decisions on the wedding. He thinks we can book everything else "ABOUT THREE MONTHS OUT FROM THE WEDDING". The caterers alone that are able to serve our venue book six months to a year in advance.

His last wedding, his ex-wife's rich mommy and daddy paid for almost the entire thing (we're talking a $20,000+ event at a major league baseball stadium field with reception in the private members-only club). So he really has no idea about the real cost of things and refuses to even hear me talk about it.

There's really nowhere to cut costs that he will listen to, let alone agree. Even my rings wre only $10.

I'm putting together a spreadsheet of cost comparisons for the two options. Anyone have any other advice on how to deal with the situation?