Brothers wife to be a bridesmaid?

Can you ask her to do a reading? My SIL did that for us.

Or personal attendant?

Thats what we were thinking, but my parents and i are still think she would be mad. I'm kind of scared to not ask her... which is not how it should be!!

Please don't ask her to be a personal attendant. You're a bride, not a queen.

Yes, we were thinking about having her do a reading ** not an attendant

No attendant.

A reading is fine. A wedding party is not stuffed full of people you want to make happy; they should be the people who are the closest to you.

What the heck is a personal attendant?

I think a reading is a good idea. If she doesn't want to take that then oh well

@jane I didn't know what one was either. I just googled it lol I think it's kind of like the brides personal assistant? (Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong) I'm new to the wedding planning game!

I would give her another part of your wedding. Personal attendant, taking "getting ready" photos if your photographer isn't already doing it. Have her run the guest book/ corsages, etc and ensuring decorations for ceremony is perfect.

Jane a personal attendant is a person that helps the bride to get ready. She can help out with the rest of the bridal party if needed. She can run errands for the bride and be the information carrier before the ceremony.

You definitely shouldn't ask her, especially since your fiancé also doesn't want her in the BP. Both of FH's sisters suggested to me about being a BM, it was slightly awkward because I couldn't tell if they were joking or not. We aren't that close and FH himself said he didn't want them in the BP so I simply told them I already had my girls picked out. I also have a close cousin who I know will be slightly hurt about not being a BM but I'm just not going to talk to her about anything wedding related and I don't post anything wedding related on social media either. I say just avoid the topic around her and she will get the idea, or have your brother talk to her. Don't assign her any "tasks", she could definitely take that as an insult.

I would ask her to do a reading. You could talk to your brother about how to ask her that way maybe he can give her a heads-up by telling her something like there are only 4 groomsmen and you two want matching sides; she'll probably do the math and figure it out.

If it would be okay with you, you could invite her to get ready with you and your bridesmaids on your wedding morning. If she would take that over too, then I guess don't do that.

Agreed that she shouldn't be in the BP unless you 100% want her to be. She could do a reading at the wedding and that would be enough. FH and I are giving our readers flowers that match the GM and the mothers (1 male 1 female reader) so you could give her a flower to help her feel included but that's only if you want to. We did so we will. But if you don't, then don't. Pure and simple, this is a decision to be made by you and your FH.

If you and your FH don't want to ask her, you shouldn't feel obligated to include her in the BP just to prevent her from being mad. If you already butt heads with her as it is, that would just escalate when the wedding planning happens. You might even build a resentment toward each other down the road which will be harder to mend. Have your brother explain to her that the BP has been selected long ago and that it's already 4-4 even on both sides but you'd be happy to have her be part of the wedding in another way - may I suggest a much smaller role with minimal chances of head-butting.

My brother's wife is our reader (Catholic wedding). We also bought her dress when we ordered the BM dresses, and she'll have a corsage and is doing hair/make-up with us.

On top of being a reader.. maybe ask her if she would be a witness to sign your marriage license. Since my FH and I are not having a bridal party we are asking a two special people to be a witness on that for us.