Mayliza

Brother's wedding (trigger warning)

Mayliza, on July 22, 2021 at 7:07 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 11
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I don't want to attend my brother's wedding. I was excited and planning on going until I found out that my dad's side of the family are attending. They have not been in my life nor my brother's life in over 10 years. My uncle molested me as a child and no one knows. He will be there and I know it will trigger my anxiety. I am upset about it and wanted to support my brother but I am really struggling with what to do.

11 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on September 20, 2021 at 12:23 PM
  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    Would your brother be able to livestream the ceremony so you can still attend from your home?
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  • A
    Super December 2020
    Anais ·
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    Also, I’m very sorry this has happened to you and it is very understandable that you don’t want to be there.
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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    This is a really difficult situation, and my heart goes out to you OP that this has happened to you, and that you are now having to deal with this many years later.

    Does your brother know what happened with your uncle? I ordinarily would advocate against asking the bride or groom to disinvite people but I think the circumstances warrant asking your brother to uninvite the uncle. If he is unable to do so, I would explain to your brother that you'll have to sit the wedding out or otherwise perhaps watch on zoom because you cannot bring yourself to be in the same room as that monster, and understandably so.

    This person shouldn't be at this event let alone walking the streets, he should be in prison.

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  • WWModTeam
    WeddingWire Administrator December 2016
    WWModTeam Online ·
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    Mayliza, I hope you have had support for your situation. If you think talking to someone may help please consider checking out 7 Cups of Tea, a website where you can chat to trained listeners as well as access guides, exercises, and tips for working through a variety of tough situations - http://www.7cups.com/

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My uncle did the same thing & I held it in for years. When I finally said something, my mother’s side of the basically called me a liar. He was supposed to go to a family reunion that I was going to attend & I was petrified! I told my father (finally) & told him that even though I would love to go but I just couldn’t. A close friend pointed that out to me- if you don’t want to go, you don’t have to. Holding that secret did more damage than good. Talk with your brother. Tell him what’s going on.
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  • Katie
    Rockstar August 2020
    Katie ·
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    I totally agree. Mayliza has every right to be at her brother’s wedding over this criminal.
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  • Jasmine E.
    Rockstar May 2022
    Jasmine E. ·
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    I agree. If she is at all comfortable telling her brother why, or at least hinting at it, maybe he could be convinced to un-invite the uncle and any of the other relatives who enabled him.


    Sending you lots of strength, OP.
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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    I am so so sorry. He should not have done those things to you. It was not your fault.
    Taking care of YOU is what is important. Not going to the wedding is you doing what is good for you, it is strength and bravery.
    You don’t owe anyone your story. It’s yours to tell, when, it and to whom, you feel safe with. This is so so hard. I am so sorry.
    • Reply
  • Jenny
    Savvy April 2022
    Jenny ·
    • Flag
    I’m so sorry for you but agree you need to do what’s best for you. You’re brother will understand in time and will love you regardless
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  • Mayliza
    Mayliza ·
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    I did go to the wedding. The uncle did not attend much to my relief. I realized that HE should be the one scared of ME.
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  • Jacks
    Master September 2019
    Jacks ·
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    Thanks for the update! I'm glad he wasn't there.

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