Brother won't come to wedding

Why don't you offer him an excellent babysitter? He can still come but not bring your niece to the wedding?

If he is going to Hungary, I wonder if he is short on finances but doesn't want to say it?

Usually I would advise you to let it go since your wedding isn't a summons. But this would hurt me too coming from a sibling. While he'll certainly be missed, he's made his choice. Don't press him anymore and move on. Something financial or personal could be going on that he's keeping private. Let it be.

Yeah, my brother chose his vacation to Las Vegas over attending my wedding this next Monday. He said his girlfriend would be mad if they had to cancel so they declined as soon as I told them the date. Fast forward 8 months and they aren't even going on their vacation now because his girlfriend spent $9,000 on his credit card!

This is weird. He would miss your entire wedding because it wouldnt be " fun " for him to watch his own kid during the wedding?

Sounds like to me that there are other reasons he is not interested in attending and the kid is not one of them.

I'd suspect that there's something else going on. I'm not so sure I'd press. Maybe just let them know that they will be missed, are welcome to change their mind if the decide they can come and that you are happy to accommodate them. I normally wouldn't say that for any guests. I'm very close to my siblings and this would be extremely difficult.

ETA: No matter what, enjoy the guests you do have.

Yikes @Stephanie&Chris.. that's harsh. I hope this doesn't come off as blaming you but if anyone is lurking, this is a good reason to talk to your VIPs before booking a date. We ended up with a summer date because of a few VIP teachers. Your brother's relationship sounds messy though. Sorry that happened.

I would talk to your brother. It sounds like he's jsut making excuses so I agree with Constance. I think you ought to dig a bit deeper. Tell you're brother that the idea of not having him there would make you sad and try not to be accusatory. Ask him if there's something else that you're missing.

It's does sound like and excuse, my brother traveled with his 18month old to my wedding, they got a babysitter from 8pm, my BIL travelled with 3 of his 5 kids, they left the 7month old and, 2yr old at home with his MIL for the night (his choice) they chose not to get a babysitter but his wife went up with the kids to bed. Perhaps there is more that you have missed. I hope ye can work it out, I would have been devistated if my brother couldn't make it.

We only invited DH's brother because his mother insisted, and they didn't come anyway, citing their 5 year old as the reason. It's all bullshit.

Honestly, the people who are there will be the ones who truly care for you and care to make time for you. Focus on those people.

Wow what a piss poor excuse! FH and I have a daughter who will be one at the time of our wedding and she wont be a hassle to deal with.

Yeah, I'm pretty devastated. My brother and I aren't super close, but he's always been the big brother I look up to and idolize. I know he has issues with our parents, and they've pushed him a little too far when they tried to convince him to come. I've already tried talking to my SIL about it and it's like talking to a brick wall. I really don't think they're budging, and so the past few days have been full of tears. I'm the type of person that would do anything for my family, so it's hard to wrap my head around my brother's choice not to be a part of something that's very important to me.

It sounds like this has a lot more to do with your parents and your brother's relationship, or at least something else, than anything about your wedding. I'm really sorry you are being hurt by those dynamics!

I agree with Constance. There is another reason for him not attending that he is not letting you know. Do not press him on it. I know it sucks that he isn't coming but maybe in time, he'll tell you the real reason behind his absence.

I would be pissed if my brothers didn't come to my wedding. My brothers and I are very close

Yeah I think you and your parents have already done all the pressing and pushing you can do. This is on him though. Even if he has issues with other family members, he's the one boycotting his sisters wedding. Time to mourn. Make sure you enjoy your other guests. Your wedding will be amazing.

Well I certainly understand how hurt you are. My brother was the same way. The excuses were never ending. My brother and I aren't close though, but it still hurt. He texted me his decline after giving it some thought (24 hours max). To me it was more about the delivery. My brother also skipped my college graduation because in his words, "It was a bs degree." There really isn't much you can do here, except respect his decision. Also, like a pp mentioned, it could be due to finances.

But he is take her to Hungary.is it money issues

Yes! My twin brother has the same excuse and won't come to my wedding I feel your pain.