Brother not inviting my boyfriend to his wedding

It is definitely rude of your brother not to include your boyfriend on the invitation. A significant other is a package deal, not a plus one. It’s rude for him to ask you to celebrate his relationship while snubbing yours.


It also sounds like your relationship with your brother is not good. The fact he tells people lies about you to make himself look bigger is a major red flag. I’m a firm believer in the idea that just because someone shares DNA, doesn’t mean they are allowed to treat you however they want without consequences. I would tell your parents that you do not feel comfortable going to your brother’s wedding, and that’s the end of the discussion. I’ve had a similar situation and every time my parents brought it up, I literally left the room/their house or hung up the phone. I made it very clear that I was not going to entertain the discussion, and they eventually got the hint.

Ugh this is a frustrating problem. Yes it is rude not to invite a whole couple however as the cost of weddings skyrocket it is becoming more common to not invite everyone with a guest and to only invite married and engaged couples as a unit. It definitely sucks though, its feels like they are asking people to celebrate and respect their relationship while disrespecting and dismissing the relationships of their guests. Try not to take it personally though.

Think long and hard about deciding to rsvp no because doing so will probably permanently damage your relationship with your brother and possibly other members of your family. It's a decision you will never be to take back or change so just make sure it's not something you will not regret later down the line. Personally I d go, spend time with family I have not seen in awhile and leave early.

Your brother acted unbelievably rude by leaving out one half of a couple. He's asking you to go celebrate his relationship while completely disrespecting yours. Honestly your boyfriend and you have been together for SIX years. I'd RSVP no. That's just not how you should be treated by your family. Boundaries are a good thing.

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I totally agree with Jacks. I would RSVP no, and if anyone asks why, I'd just be honest about it and tell them if your boyfriend isn't welcome then you don't feel welcome either.

It doesn’t sound like you have spoken to your brother about this. I would reach out to him and say something to the effect of “Hi! I received your wedding invitation, and we’re super excited! I noticed the invitation was only addressed to me. I’m sure it was just an oversight, but wanted to reach out just to confirm that both myself and (insert SO’s name) are invited, as we are both excited to celebrate your union.”


Hopefully phrasing it that way will make him realize how rude their actions were. And it also presents the opportunity for him to graciously correct his actions.

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I like this idea, I misread thinking this had already happened.

It’s incredibly disrespectful for an engaged couple to only invite half of a couple. If you are with your partner for 3 months and decide you want to make it serious, the engaged couple or anyone must acknowledge and respect that and invite both of you by name. If they don’t, then they are discounting and ignoring your relationship while asking you to celebrate theirs. That is why inviting and acknowledging engaged and married couples with rings only and ignoring couples who are dating without being engaged or those who are common law partners with no plans to make anything legal always backfires. No one has the right to decide if your relationship is valid.


An invitation is not a summons and it is not rude to decline an invitation if you choose not to go.

I'm not so sure I agree with a majority of the comments here. It seems like your brother doesn't have a relationship with your boyfriend? If that's the case, then there is no expectation for anyone who does not have a close relationship with the couple to be invited. If your boyfriend has not put in the effort to get to know your brother, then why expect an invite?

Another question is: has your boyfriend done or said anything rude to your brother? You'll be surprised how stressful wedding planning is and the last thing most couples want is stress or drama on their big day with someone they're not even close to. Gone are the days where people invited someone because they have to. Costs and risk of covid exposure is just not worth it.

My suggestion to you - go to the wedding yourself. Your boyfriend should not stand in the way of your relationship with your brother on one of his most important days.