Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Beginner June 2022

Brother just got married

Dawn, on June 16, 2019 at 10:13 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Yes I cried at the wedding what women doesn’t. But it wasn’t for them as much I’m crying for me! I went through a divorce in 2016 and in 2017 meet my now bf. The wedding and reception was gorgeous and was happy but. I kept think about how my ex husband was married all ready and not even divorced he was dating his ex high school gf and 5 months after the divorce and engaged and just got married on my brother bday (may 11th) and how I’m not even married any more and just want that love I have it but not the I’m married love. I kept thinking if I get married I won’t be able to have a wedding like my brother like medium wedding with bridesmaids (had my ex hubby sisters) I have not one girlfriends. He has guy friends and his brothers but I’m just thinking if I get married again I would have to pay for it according to what I have looked up. I don’t make a lot he make good amount of money but. It’s not like we can have the wedding of our dreams he never been married my bf. Just depressed on a lot thanks for listing

Flag
Hide content

10 Comments

Latest activity by Lizbeth, on June 16, 2019 at 5:42 PM

VIP January 2020
Vicky · on June 16, 2019 at 1:39 PM
Flag

Hide content
I'm not really sure I understand your post, but basically you're thinking about how your ex is already remarried and you're worried about what kind of wedding you'd be able to have if you got married again?
If you and your boyfriend decide to get married you can have whatever wedding the two of you can afford to throw. But I'm not sure why you're so worried about the size of the hypothetical future wedding you might have and who might be in your wedding party. You don't need bridesmaids, even if your FI has groomsmen. You don't need to have a wedding party at all. But you also don't need to worry about any of this yet. You're not engaged. Enjoy your relationship for where it is, don't worry about your ex and what he's doing with his life, and focus on being happy for your brother and his new wife!
- Reply
Beginner June 2022
Dawn · on June 16, 2019 at 2:23 PM
Flag

Hide content
I am I just feel weird and sickness feeling inside me
- Reply
VIP September 2019
CDickman · on June 16, 2019 at 2:41 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I mean a wedding should be done because of how much you love and want to commit with the person you are with. I get wanting to have some fancy wedding but it is not needed. I feel as though you are competing your life to you ex. which is not healthy or fair to you and your boyfriend. Most of us have to budget and not get all we want for our wedding.
- Reply
Master September 2019
Sarah · on June 16, 2019 at 2:55 PM
Flag

Hide content
Have you sought counseling since your divorce? It sounds like you’re hyper focusing on the idea of being married and having a wedding, which isn’t healthy. I met FH around the time I was divorcing my ex-husband. The first wedding we attended together brought up a lot of emotions. I had been on and off in therapy before that, but that actually gave me the nudge I needed to sort out everything that had gone on in my divorce in counseling. That could help you.
- Reply
Champion November 2016
LB · on June 16, 2019 at 3:03 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I mean this kindly and with concern, I think you should maybe talk to someone professionally about this. Being on a wedding forum doesnt seem like the right outlet.

Wishing you all the best.
- Reply
Expert June 2021
Shannon · on June 16, 2019 at 3:05 PM
Flag

Hide content
I've been divorced for almost 6 years. My exhusband got married 2 or 3 years ago. My only thought was, "I hope my boys deal with this well." (They don't particularly like my ex's wife.) Your ex's relationship and choices have nothing to do with yours. That comes with divorce. I wouldn't worry about a wedding that isn't even in the cards yet. Enjoy your life as it is right now. You never know what the future will bring.
- Reply
VIP September 2019
Trista · on June 16, 2019 at 3:17 PM
Flag

Hide content
I am a firm believer that most, if not all, people would benefit from some sort of therapy. I've noticed the only 3 posts you have made on here are about your worries about a hypothetical wedding and a wedding/relationship that doesn't involve you. I've never been married/divorced, but my parents were. I know it can be hard, but please seek some help. I think it could really help you let go of all of this stress/pain/worry. Take it easy. 💙
- Reply
Super September 2019
Paula · on June 16, 2019 at 3:37 PM
Flag

Hide content
Please understand I don't mean this to sound hurtful in anyway but I agree with others here in saying I think you're dealing with issues that possibly need to be expressed to a therapist. I'm not divorced but my FH is. He was divorced 25 years ago and said that he sought therapy in dealing with those issues. It seems to me that being on a wedding website would increase these upsetting feelings and emotions.
- Reply
Expert June 2019
MrsJohansson · on June 16, 2019 at 5:35 PM
Flag

Hide content
I remember your previous posts and I think you need to take a big step back. I know watching your brother getting married and your previous marriages have you feeling a lot of things but your partner isn't on the same page as you. You are going to scare your boyfriend away.

I agree with everyone else that a therapist will be a super resource to manage all these tough feelings and can help you find your breath. I think visiting wedding forums when your partner isn't ready for marriage and there is lingerimg trauma from the past is not going to help you.
- Reply

Devoted May 2020
Lizbeth · on June 16, 2019 at 5:42 PM
Flag

Hide content
My ex husband married his gf less than a month after we divorced.
- Reply