Brother in law put me as "and guest" to his wedding

I would assume ignorance over malice. Would I do it? Nope. But I also would only let it bug me for a few seconds and then move on. If you truly feel like you can't let it go, your husband can have the etiquette conversation since it's his brother. Remember, not everyone was taught the same standards of wedding etiquette (and even this varies from place to place), and for a lot of people, a wedding ins the first big formal event they've ever had to organize and can be a learning process.

View Quoted Comment That is what I'm hoping. It just seems so intentional. He only has one sibling and one sister in law. I'm not saying anything. It isn't worth hurting their feelings so my feelings and ego can feel better.

I agree it’s very strange, but that it’s probably just ignorance. I highly doubt your brother-in-law was at all in charge of the invitations, so it was likely your future sister-in-law or maybe even her mom 🤷‍♀️
So while it’s weird and I understand why you’re feeling a bit of a sting, I’d brush it off as the bride just feeling stressed and trying to get invites sent out. Like Janet said - ignorance over malice.

I agree that this is probably not an intentional slight and the easiest path is just to let it go, but that doesn't mean your husband can't have a casual "Dude, what the hell?" conversation with his brother.

I've been with my partner for 12 or 13 years. I've been called guest every time despite people knowing my name. I'm just petty enough to sign the card "and guest"

You can be as offended as you want. It's not hard to ask what someone's name is. "And guest" would make me think he can bring anyone he wants. You are not a random guest you are family.

This was on online STD? That sounds like it might have just been an oversight. They may have auto populated the list that way and sent it out without reviewing it.

If the formal invitation comes with "and guest", I'd be side-eyeing that.

I’d see how the invitation comes and then your husband can casually say something to his brother. I wouldn’t invite you that way but like others have said it may have just been an accident

While this is off putting, It sounds like they are unorganized. I made sure to ask for everyone’s names and correct spelling for save the dates and invitations, etc.

I'd agree to give him the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to an issue with whatever online generator they used, not reviewing the list, or some other innocent mistake. If your husband has a good enough relationship with his brother where the brother wouldn't get worked up if your husband pointed it out, then I don't think him having that conversation would be a bad idea. But given that it's just the save-the-date and not a formal invitation or anything, I don't think it's worth making a huge deal over just yet.

I'm so sorry this happened to you! I also agree you shouldn't read too much into this. I know I would be upset too, but I can see how this could happen. That being said, I know I looked over my invitations about 43,000 times before I sent them out (and even ordered them!) to make sure I didn't have any mistakes like this. #Awkward

Even if the bride somehow doesn't know the name of her FBIL's wife, how hard would it have been to address the STD to Mr. And Mrs, Husband's Name? There was no need to put "and Guest" in my opinion. I guess everyone else may be right and it was just a mistake, but I have trouble believing that.

I will say that Jacks may be on to something, though. If it was auto-populated this may have happened. Like others said, just wait for the invitation and see how it is addressed.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, I'm not saying anything to anyone, it totally could have automatically put that. We will see how the invitations turn out and while it would feel a little hurtful to be 'and guest' I'll just give them grace.

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Good call. I hope it turns out better for the formal invites!

View Quoted Comment Very true- i had a similar tiny mishap where my mom addressed someone's envelope and spelled their name totally wrong- you just need to take a breath and do something fun to take your mind off of it

That is the epitome of disrespect. They know you are not a random stranger. You are within your rights to decline and not send any gift.