This is mostly a venting post I guess, but I just need some (hopefully) kind words that can help me accept and move past this,...
Anyway, I’m pretty upset at the moment. My fiancé proposed to me in December of 2017 and we set the date of our wedding for April 2019. We have been together over 5 years and have a beautiful daughter together.
Just recently in August (more than 8 months after setting my wedding date) my older brother started dating a girl and by November they had “mutually decided” to get married. I was very happy for him and she seemed nice enough the one time I met her. Shortly after they got engaged, my brother called me to ask “how long was an appropriate distance from my wedding to have his” because they were going to have to move it to either March or May (remember I’m getting married in April. He said it was because his fiancé really wanted her brother (who is stationed overseas) to be able to walk her down the aisle and that his wife is pregnant and due in August therefore she won’t be able to fly in her 3rd trimester. I tried not to let it bother me, but asked what the rush was that they couldn’t wait until AFTER August. The only reason Ive ever gotten for that is simply that “they do not want to wait that long”.
I put on my best happy voice and pretended not to be bothered BUT I did tell him please don’t do it in March because they live out of state and I will have sooo much going on that it would be really tough to make it. Soo...i look on Facebook the other day and his fiancé posted “due to extenuating circumstances the wedding date is ‘March 16th”. When my brother called me, he specifically said “we are tired of everyone’s input so it’s march 16th” which left me feeling like I was just supposed to shut my mouth which I did.
Now I’m over here so upset because 1) I won’t be able to make it, the wedding has depleted me of time and fincances and taking more time off work would be impossible. 2) he set the date knowing I probably wouldn’t be able to make it. 3) no consideration was given to my feelings 4) I never would have done that to him and 5) this is a long list of crappy things he has done to me. (Also just to note it is only me and him no other siblings).
I did reach out to him a few days later and very kindly expressed that I was hurt and confused why he would set his date FOUR WEEKS BEFORE MINE but by his response it was clear he either thinks he’s doing nothing rude and inappropriate or he just does t care. Oh, also we asked him to stand up to our wedding which I am not regretting. I’m also mad because now this makes me really not like her. I would never do this to my future sister in law!!!
Am I going to feel this resentment forever?
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