Broken Hearted Bride

Unfortunately, not allowing kids is going to mean that some people can't attend, even more so when you set a random age limit. It's your wedding and you're entitled to make that decision, but just like every other choice we make, you'll have to deal with the consequences.

Some people don't want to leave their kids behind, it isn't a money thing or a babysitter thing. They're allowed to make that choice.

I don't know if this will help but I'm planning to have a childcare designated room at mine and hire people from a reputable company (maybe a nanny service) since we have 6 kids under 5 coming (all belonging to my fiance's brothers, sisters, or my cousins, who I am close to).

If you hosted a wedding that everyone would be 100% in agreement with you would never get married. If this is something that you and your fiance want and you are set on don't budge, don't even sugar coat it at this point. Stand strong behind your decision otherwise people will think you will change your mind if they give enough push back. However, if this is something that is negotiable I would look into your options. Like PP said instead of not allowing them to come at all, maybe offering babysitting at reception? I think you have provided great options, but I do understand the parents point of not wanting to leave a baby so long with a babysitter. I understand at that point the child will be 3 or 4 which a lot could change within that time and maybe they do become okay with it, but maybe not. Either way whatever you decide you and your fiance need to be on the same page and do not sway.

Little babies (usually under one) are typically the exception to the "no kids" rule. Would your "no kids under 5" rule be separating families? Like are there families with a three-year-old and an eight-year-old that would be invited? I can definitely see where the hurt feelings would come into play there.

Also, please don't do PPs suggestion of letting kids come to the ceremony but not the reception--that's putting major strain on their parents who may want to be around them as long as possible on that day. It just makes things super complicated.

Hi, we are having an adult only wedding and have experienced 2 years of backlash (long engagement lol) in the end we are sticking to our guns... I feel like when people really want to attend they will make it a point too. I know that many people do not like to leave their kids and I understand that however, if the child is not welcomed to someone wedding they can leave with an additional family member and I personally think it is so rude when people try to say they will still bring the child. What I may suggest is, your saying this is the moms child? so would your spouse make an exception for their sibling? if so that may make it better but also make it a why can they bring but I cant... im just writing as I think lol

You and i think very much alike~ We dont want their sibling to come along because it would cause a whole stir of disarray. If the sibling came then so would the cousin and my god children- and the whole rule would crumble. I understand that theres a difference between a sibling and cousins but i come from a very native family where the two are basically the same thing lol.

were going to stick to what we want- i mean we are paying for everything ourselves so we could have the right to call the shots

My wedding really made me realize that people think their kids are are just the most important part of anybody's life. We decided to only invite nieces and nephews to ours, and we had a few family members get incredibly offended when their children (second cousins) would not be invited. We explained that if we allowed their kids to go, then we'd have to about 50 other people (you can't just invite one or two people from a group and not others) and we couldn't afford that. Well, I haven't spoken to those people since and that was over 6 months ago. No skin off my nose, these are people I wasn't close with to begin with, but the point is that people oftentimes act like their children are everything to everyone and not just them.

If people don't like it, they don't need to come. Like others have said, you'll either have to bend to their whims, or accept that people may not have childcare or not feel comfortable leaving their young children with someone they don't know.