Broke Bridesmaid

Please tell her as soon as possible. Don't feel guilty, ultimately we are all dealing with a lot right now. There should be no pressure on you to be a bridesmaid at all. Explain to her the situation and that you want more than anything to be there for her, but you cannot because of finances. She should absolutely be understanding.

Best of luck!

I really think you're better off telling her your concerns now rather than waiting until closer to the wedding, especially since it is only a few months away. If she's truly your friend, she should understand. It sounds like you have very legitimate reasons, so I can't see why she wouldn't accept them. Yes it sucks to have to miss out on this, but it sounds much better for your family than to add on unnecessary expenses.

The best option is to be honest and drop out now, so she can plan accordingly. A true friend will understand.


If I had a young child at home, I would not feel comfortable flying and attending a big event because of covid.

Talk to her asap and be honest. If she is close enough to ask you to stand up for her, she should not judge you for your situation.

Your friend should be understanding of your circumstances. Just be honest with her.

If she is your friend and you explain exactly this to her, she will understand completely.

Just be honest. If she's willing to pay and help you out, maybe you can still be a bridesmaid. If not, at least she will know with time to make adjustments. She has no reason to be upset with you if you're honest about it.

Please tell her immediately your tiugh financial situation. If she's your true friend, she should understand

Just be honest. A good friend will understand!

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I seriously can't even imagine and have so much anxiety about the job market.

Be honest with her, sooner rather than later. Tell her the way you told us. She is your friend first and foremost -- she will understand, and her primary concern will be for your wellbeing.

One of our groomsmen accepted the role and then almost couldn't afford his suit rental, putting us in an awkward spot of possibly needing to cover a $200+ cost a month out from our wedding.

Much as I would love to be there, it is financially impossible right now. ...
I have turned down being a BM/ MOH before, for financial reasons. It is actually easier than politely declining because you just don't like them enough. You can be honest, and any bride knows she would do the same in the same circumstances. Call, it is something to do in person or on the phone.

The best thing to do is be honest with her. A true friend will completely understand!

I would tell her exactly what you told us. She's your friend, she'll understand.

She's going to be disappointed no matter what, but that's totally understandable since you're her friend and she wants you there! Just don't put it off. It's much easier for a bride to plan when she knows who will be able to make it!

In addition, I don't know what your friend's financial situation is, but she may also be ready to help you out. Obviously I wouldn't ask, but if it was me asking for a destination wedding and a bridesmaid said the only reason she couldn't go is financial reasons, I'd offer to help.

Hopefully everything works out. You could always offer to be there via video as well.

Talk to her about what’s going on, be honest with her. The sooner the better. She would definitely appreciate it.

I think you are completely right, you guys are struggling a little and have a lot going on. Your money for things you need and your child should be your priority and if she really is a friend she will understand it is not personal. And by the way, everyone I know who has had a destination wedding or even just a far away wedding has let guests (including bridal party) know that if they can’t make it due to financial or other reasons they’ll understand. No one should really go into a destination wedding thinking everyone will attend, life happens

I totally get how you are feeling. I'm currently pregnant with our first child and I've been out of a job for six months. It has been very stressful so my advice is tell her ASAP and to be honest with her. If she gets upset, she will hopefully get over it quickly. This is completely out of your control as nobody asked for Covid.

Thank you everyone! I really appreciate the solidarity and advice. I have a coffee date scheduled with her next week, and I plan to talk to her about it then.

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This.

Honestly, I thought about my friends' situations BEFORE I asked, because I didn't want anyone to feel guilty!

If she reacts poorly, I think that will say a lot about your friendship.

Tell her soon. If she really wants you there by her side she will figure something out for you. Being a bridesmaid doesn't mean you have to open up your wallet all the time and drop a ton of money. She should understand.

Be completely honest with her. I am sure, as your close friend, she would be very understanding of your circumstances. However, I would go ahead and tell her since her wedding is coming up.