Broke Bridesmaid

A similar scenario like this came up recently on the forums. You have to consider how your other BM's may feel if they were to find out that you paid for her dress, but not theirs. They may feel hurt, because they may be scraping by too. Just something to consider.

I think it's fine. It's not like your paying for her just because, it's because she can't afford it. And since she is your close friend, I don't see an issue. If I wanted someone in my wedding and they couldn't afford it, I would help.

Being in a wedding is costly. I understand your BM struggle. However, if she is agreeing to participate she knows her limits. If you make agreements to pay and she wants to pay you back let her (it's a pride thing). I learned with my wedding as long as it gets done then it's okay. As brides we get excited and want the world to stop. But every body is not in the same situation so expectations must be altered.

I told them before shopping that I'd like their input about budget. They all mentioned that they didn't want to drop hundreds of dollars on BM stuff, so I told them we'd only look at dresses for under a hundo. Some of them even helped look for dresses on the cheap, and we considered those ideas. My one BM hadn't really said much beforehand... I think she was embarrassed.

I paid up front for one of my BM dresses, but she paid me back. I would agree with PPs, do it discreetly so you don't embarrass the BM or make others feel upset that they're scraping by too, and you're not helping them. I would keep it on the down low, but it's definitely a pride thing so let her pay you back if she wants to.

If she pays you back then accept it. Don't feel bad. Just stay cool they way you've been.

I was in a wedding a few years ago where something like this happened. I was a bridesmaid along with about 6 other girls. One of the girls couldn't afford the dress and everything else due to an addiction to pills... and the bride paid for all of her stuff. However, she didn't help out the rest of us... even though some of us were struggling just as much, me included (medical bill reasons). At one point, I didn't have the cash on me to order the shoes the same time as everyone else, and I got major backlash from the bride with comments including "you work, where does all your money go that you can't afford $50." So, as nice as it is to offer to pay for a BMs things, it can be a sticky situation if the other BMs get wind of it. It's a tricky spot to be in. Goodluck with it.

I totally agree with @Alyssachu! I'd buy the dress for her and tell her no pressure / take your time on paying it back, and keep it on the quiet side!

I would tell her that it's something that you want to do for her... And I wouldn't worry about the other BM they should understand... If she's needing help then I think it's sweet of you to buy her dress...

And just as a note, all of my BMs are close friends except my FH's sister. She's super chill and sweet (which is why I asked her to be a BM) and seems to get along well with my friends. They don't know, and I don't plan on telling everyone about my one BM, but they wouldn't feel bad at all. They know she's riding the struggle bus (and planning her own upcoming wedding for June 2018).

I say pay for it. Its none of your bridesmaid's business what you spend your money on or her financial situation. If she gets around to paying you back accept if you wish to.

I honestly would order it for her and let her know she can pay you back whenever. I can understand why she would feel bad and why you would feel bad. Don't let anyone know you paid for it. It's a tough situation but thankfully it's only $50! If you have to, tell her it's part of her wedding gift and to save her $$!

I've been a broke bridesmaid and it's tough. I would pay for the dress for her. The price is great but I remember the times where $50 meant giving up something or paying bills late.

I was that broke bridesmaid 8 years ago. That is VERY nice that you are doing that for your friend. My girlfriend wanted me in her wedding and paid for my dress and shoes. Now I'm the one getting married, and even though I don't make a lot, I feel the right thing is to pay for hers. She told me I didn't have to do that but it's important to me. She never once asked for the money back. True friends are doing things like that because you want each other standing up by your side at your wedding. I'm sure she'll repay you back at some point. Again, very nice of you.

This is so hard! My two sisters are in our wedding as is a FSIL and my youngest sister's best friend (we've grown up together she is an only child and like another sister to me as well). I think my youngest sister might be able to get her own dress but the middle one is terrible with money. I want to help but I can't afford to help either and I would feel bad not helping everyone.

Pay for it and tell her she can pay you back later....then later, tell her to forget about it.

This is why I'm a firm believer in Your wedding, your expense. The BP should not have to pay to be in someone's wedding. It gets figured into the budget and you either have a small BP, no BP or you save up a little longer.

I say pay for it.

I can see it both ways. I know weddings can be expensive. However, unless you don't want to exclude her, I would probably fork out the $$ to help her out. Tell her it's a loan, if you have to, but assume it might not get paid back. You can offer her a way out this way, as well, if she wants to decline because of expenses.

Pay for the dress and let her pay you back since she wants to.

Buy her dress, don't tell anyone. If she pays you back, graciously accept the money but if she doesn't pay you back, don't throw it in her face.