Bringing an Alternate Guest- Etiquette?

Yes, I think that would be fine. Just confirm with her, so if you are doing a seating chart and place settings, that you know what names to put.

I know etiquette say's that they shouldn't but I feel if it's a good friend of mine, they should be able to ask. I don't think it's a biggie.

I think there is a difference of opinion on this, and is dependent on your location. For myself, that wouldn't be a big deal because the price per person in texas is pretty reasonable so no big difference either way. In some areas when the price pp is a couple hundred dollars that can be a big cost difference. Technically, you can go back and explain that it was intended for the originally named guest, but I think that may be an awkward conversation to have. If you can afford to accomodate them, i'd just let her bring the replacement person.

I think she did the correct thing is asking if it were ok.

poor etiquette would be showing up with the new uninvited face unannounced

It was not ok for her to ask. If the invite is to specific people, those are the only people invited. Sub ins not allowed. If you gave her a "Ms. X and Guest" invite then it is obviously fine. It was nice of you to let her bring a guest and if she is traveling I am sure she appreciates it, but it was in no way required.

Someone did this to us, and I definitely side-eyed it. Especially since this person had a TON of other friends at our wedding, and it wasn't like she was coming totally alone. But that being said, we said yes, it really wasn't a big deal, it's just not something I would ever do, I feel completely fine attending social events by myself and enjoying the evening...I don't need someone with me everywhere I go.

I don't think it would be a big deal for me.

@FreshtodeathAng, that's exactly how I felt. My friend will have lots of other friends at the wedding, so it's not like she is dependent on her guest to hang out with. The mutual friend she asked to bring is a friend that I've lost touch with and specifically told her we made the conscious decision to not invite her. It seems awkward to me, but also not worth making a big deal out of.

Yep, it's not worth making a big deal - but I almost think it is even weirder that it's someone you know and not on your guest list. I was at a wedding once where people did that, and I found it so awkward lol

But yeah, for us, we got over it in a matter of minutes, and it was obviously fine - we had budgeted for that person anyways. I just can't relate to that, personally because I would never dream of asking that in the first place.

Technically, she did not have a plus one, but she asked you for one. I think that is wrong. If she was traveling and did not know anybody at the wedding, I would let this slide. Otherwise, nope, she was not given a plus one; she and her husband received an invitation.

I agree with most PPs. I would be fine with this, especially since I live in a low-cost area. However, I would definitely side-eye it at least a little bit. Also, I would NEVER do this myself.

While it isn't something I would ever do, I would probably let it slide. Have you sent out invitations yet?

Wow - just saw the update. I probably would speak to my friend about her extending an invitation to someone that you already expressed concern about not inviting.

I think it makes it more awkward that the guest is someone that you make the conscious decision to not invite, and that plus one knows it!

Totally agree with @Judi!

I think this is fine since she will be traveling across the country, that's a long way to attend a wedding alone

Bc its a mutual friend that wasn't invited that maybe awkward. I have a friend who's husband won't be able to attend our wedding so she asked if she could bring her sister so she's not traveling alone and she'll only know one person at the wedding besides us. I said that's fine since I was planning on paying for her husband anyway its not like she's increasing the set budget.

I think that's okay! I wouldn't mind if someone was doing it at mine. There's so many other big things to worry about. It's not like you invited two people and now there's 3..

It's a little awkward but if she has already invited the friend, I think it would be more awkward to go back on that now. Maybe she was worried that you had already paid for her husband's attendance, and she didn't want you to feel like you wasted the money? Idk this situation screams uncomfortable to me. I don't know how I'd feel about it tbh.

But hey, at least you're not texting someone the day of your wedding trying to get them to come fill the seat lmao

I think it's fine. She isn't asking to bring extra people. Also, I assume you want her there even if her husband can't come? She may not be comfortable coming alone.