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Just Said Yes October 2024

Bright red wedding guest attire!?

Stephanie, on October 16, 2024 at 3:41 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7

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Maybe its just me.. (the bride) but was this dress a bit inappropriate and rather a way of seeking the attention? Not only being bright red with bright red lipstick, but her boobs barely hanging in there 🙄 For a bit of context, I don't like her, she always talks to my now husband and has a tendency to talk over me when I try to say anything to him with her around. Seems to like attention in any other family event, literally wearing thong bikinis (also whole preggo ) around all the guys of the family and the kid (ranging 2-13 all boys except my 6 year old daughter). Since I'm the most “senior” been around longer than any of them, I do sometimes feel she's trying to cause issues in my relationship by paying the most attention to my man while ignoring me. Also, mother in law loves me and not her so much. Which is bc everyone knows she's kinda just with him for the money he makes. She had no problem breaking up his marriage with his ex wife. I'm not making a big deal out of it since she pretty much outs herself and was staring at me the entire night. Especially when mil hugged me and told me she was so happy and she loves me. Also, her marriage to my brother in law was only to keep her in the country and pretty sure they're only back together because she ended up pregnant. Everyone else wore mostly neutral colors or muted tones of burgundy. I guess I'm just looking for confirmation I'm not crazy 😅😂 Bright red wedding guest attire!? 1

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Latest activity by HvR, on October 29, 2024 at 11:43 PM

Master October 2023
Michael · on October 16, 2024 at 4:40 PM
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Indeed people can be obnoxious whether of the same bloodline or added to the family. Maybe you will have to plan holidays to minimize contact with her or maybe the brother-in-law will just have shared custody. (but of course it is better parents stay together as much as possible).
Also have your husband ask for you two to be excused for a moment if she is talking over you. Just say you guys have to make a phone call -- and then call a movie theater for the movie schedule. Effectively, just have some reason to interrupt the conversation.
By the way... Congratulations and hope the best for you two.
and red would not be a good color to be wearing as a guest for the reason you gave.
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Super December 2022
LM · on October 18, 2024 at 9:46 AM
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Congratulations on your new marriage! I wish you and your husband wonderful memories and a positive future together.

So In this picture, I really just see you and your fabulous fashion. Your SIL chose red, crinkly polyester that fit her pregnant body. IDK if there are good formal options for pregnant women, but that's what she could afford in her taste Level. Sympathize and move on with your happy, married life. I think you should inform your husband you want him to include you in conversations and stop her from ignoring you. If he is still unaware, say "excuse me" and take his hand and walk away from her. Also, speak up for yourself with "as I was saying" and resume your conversation. Last, buy a sexy swimsuit for yourself. Brazilian bikinis flatter every figure, try it. They stay on in ocean waves. Best wishes, Bride.
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Super December 2022
LM · on October 18, 2024 at 9:49 AM
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I also think it could be a cultural clash thing as some cultures embrace the color red and thong bikinis.
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Master October 2023
Cece · on October 19, 2024 at 8:57 AM
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Personally, I don’t see anything wrong with the dress. Pregnancy options are so limited; it may have been difficult for her to find something she felt good in. Plus, you don’t want to spend a lot of money on a maternity dress you will only wear once. As for the other behaviors you mentioned, it sounds as though she doesn’t feel like she is being embraced in the family. You said she broke up BIL‘s marriage, but it takes two people to end a marriage. I don’t think it’s fair to let him off scott free and blame everything on this poor girl. You are also essentially calling her a pick-me gold digger. If this is the attitude the family is giving off, it’s no wonder she feels insecure and is searching for attention. Perhaps the reason she talks to your husband so much is because he is kind to her. Rather than judging her, I would suggest trying to embrace her. Get to know her and try to make her feel like part of the family. If she feels accepted into the family the way you are, her behaviors will likely change. Your MIL needs to do the same. It’s terrible to blatantly show preference to one DIL over the other. This woman is married to her son, and she needs to respect that.
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on October 19, 2024 at 9:35 AM
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I agree with Cece, I don't notice any issues with her dress. This seems like a perfectly acceptable dress to wear to a wedding as a guest. She couldn't possibly have known what colors everyone else was wearing, and red isn't a color to avoid wearing to a wedding (unless you're in some cultures, where the bride wears red - then it should be avoided). Multiple guests at my wedding wore bright red. Her dress isn't covered in sequins or otherwise flashy, the color isn't white, and it isn't super low cut or anything, so to answer your question about whether it seems inappropriate or attention seeking, my answer is no, I don't think so.
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Just Said Yes September 2025
JB · on October 29, 2024 at 4:24 PM
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Since when are colors (other than white) not allowed at weddings??? GET OVER IT she took nothing away from your day or photos and she dressed within her typical style. You had me at your first line of explanation, you don’t like her and that’s why you’re reacting so negatively. If you didn’t want guests wearing certain colors, you should have specifically requested that in the details of your invitations. As for all the other things, you just don’t agree with her style choices which is totally fine, she embraces her body and you don’t like that. That’s your problem, not hers. She probably avoids you because she knows how disapproving and judgmental you are towards her.
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Dedicated October 2024
HvR · on October 29, 2024 at 11:43 PM
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I’m not sure what the point is to get validation after the fact.

Wedding’s over. As others have said, move on. Frankly she looks very pregnant and is trying to look nice AND be comfortable. That far along, most women are not terribly secure about how they look. It’s high emotions and heightened hormones. And here you are, blurring her face out and asking the internet if she was somehow inappropriate.
Exercise grace and kindness in lieu of that, because it’s not a great look.
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Bright red wedding guest attire!?

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