Bridesmaids/moh not offering to help

Most people on here will tell you their only job is to show up the day of the wedding in the dress you picked out. Unfortunately you’re going to be the one person responsible for the wedding, along with your FH and anyone else who offers their help. You can’t expect them to help unfortunately. Sorry probably not what you want to hear!

What about your fiancé? I’d be more concerned with him then his sister. My fiancé’s sister will be in attendance, and that’s it. Same thing with his mom, same thing with all our GUESTS. What do you want people to do, you have a wedding planner! There is so much complaining on here about other people not planning a wedding that isn’t their responsibility to plan! It’s on you and your fiancé, anyone else that offers to help is a blessing but in no means required. And if you absolutely need help, just ask. It’s not helping you, your stress levels, or your relationships with everyone to silently fume.

I think that the point is that you want people to care enough about you and your situation to offer help? If that is how you feel, I totally understand and I’m sorry that you aren’t getting the support that you need. If you really need help with any tasks, I would ask someone who you trust to help you. You shouldn’t have to go through it all alone.

I understand you are stressed out! Especially if you still have a lot of little last minute things you have to get together. I’m assuming they may think you have everything covered for no one to offer especially if they know you have a wedding planner and assuming you haven’t asked for help yet..maybe your the type that they think just has it all under control. I think you could ask your MOH to take some weight off. I’m sure you both are very close why not just be like “girl, I am stressing out a little bit could you help me out with....” if I was her I would definitely be there and understand.

I am so sorry ! I would ask them if they will help with stuff day of. Like lipstick patrol, gathering your personal items for getting ready or something else ? Either this is their first wedding to be in and they don’t know or they must think your planner is doing it all. But You are doing a great job !!

I get that you’re stressed out but get your fiancé to help you! It’s his job, nobody else’s.

Take a deep breath and ask yourself what are most/least important things that need to get done? Drop favors, programs, guestbook table decor, little decor things guests sadly won’t notice. As long as there’s a venue with good food, you’re fine. 👍 You can make sure your wedding attire is ready to go and if possible get a massage this week to relax and ENJOY your wedding. You & your guests will remember the joy. ❤️

It’s YOUR wedding.

They are not obligated to help you. You can ask and if they'd like to help then that's good. I'm planning mine all by myself & I'm ok with that. Luckily you have a wedding planner, maybe you can delegate the work to her after all it is her job.

I agree that your FH should definitely be helping you. It's his wedding too, so it's not fair for you to be stressing over all the details alone. What I've found useful is asking FH to do specific tasks. It's possible your FH doesn't know how much you need help in this final planning phase

View Quoted Comment This!! All of this! Also, I agree, I swear I see this topic more than any other!

Hun, I feel you. Its the same with me... im glad I hired a Wedding planner which made my life easier... do not depend on anyone else..

I'm from the South and we expect a little more from our bridal parties I guess. My MOH has already asked me when we're going for dress shopping/bridal expos/etc and which events she needs to get the details to the other bridesmaids for. She's also planning both my bachelorette and assisting my mother in planning an engagement party. The girls and I also get together every other week to discuss how the planning is going and if I need anything. I don't demand any of this, but it's part of being in a wedding where I'm from and it's been that way for every wedding I've been in!

That being said, unless you communicated with your bridal party at the beginning of this whole thing that you expect them to help do things then you can't be mad now. If you need that much help then you have to ask them if they can help and then tell them what they can do! Also tell your FH to get off his butt and help you out with stuff for YA'LL'S wedding!

I get that bridesmaids aren’t required to help, but since they are your besties you would think they would want to. Especially if you would want or did help them for their wedding. I can understand your frustration. I don’t have a bridal party, but my besties are still offering to help. I think when bridesmaids aren’t helping it’s usually for one of two reasons, they don’t know you need help or they’re sick of only hearing about the wedding all the time. It can be tough finding the balance, but maybe if you can figure out if either of those are true you can either ask for help or spend some non-wedding time with your girls to get them to want to help. But I suggest taking a deep breath and trying to relax. Everything will get done in time. Just make sure you’re organized and make a schedule of when you’re going to work on things. Have your fiancé set time aside to help too, and everything will work out. And take tome
off wedding planning yourself once in a while so you can decompress.

Mine are helping with anything either but I don’t really want them too. My moms friends are helping and I honestly think I’m having more fun with them helping then I would if my MOH was helping me.

I echo a few main points from Brides before me on this subject.

1. Wedding party is not required to help you, they are there to be support ON your wedding day not the prior assistance with planning, organizing, crafting, etc.

2. Your FH should be the person you turn to for help and support, it's just like marriage, no one else is going to be there for you more than your spouse and that started with engagement.

3. Organization is KEY. The more organized you are, the easier it is to keep things in line and moving on the right track.

My additional comment will be communication. Have you asked anyone for help or are you just assuming they will come to your rescue? Maybe your wedding party/friends/family do not realize exactly what you are dealing with and that you are struggling. We cannot expect people to read our minds and sometimes we just have to speak them. Just make sure when you do, that you are still their friend/family member and not the BRIDE forever so ensure your communications are not combative, demeaning or something you will regret the morning after your wedding.

Good luck and Congratulations!!

As some people mentioned it’s not their responsibility to help you plan. However I totally understand how you feel. I get that you want them to offer but your wedding isn’t their main priority and I’m sure they have their own things going on. I suggest asking them for help if you need. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, I’m sure if you ask for a favor they will be there for you. Good luck!

That's definitely frustrating and I'm sorry you're going through that. Maybe they don't realize you need help or aren't sure what they can do? Sometimes people don't want to step on your toes or intrude too. Ask them, tell them you're stressing out and can really use help. I'm sure they'll do whatever you ask or say you need done!

To be honest this is common and something I hear a lot. I personally just didn’t even bother getting others involved, because I know how frustrating not receiving what you expect can be. Until you go through the planning process most people have no idea what all goes into a wedding and I think they believe it’s just picking a place and a dress and the reality is it’s a lot of work and can be very overwhelming for 1 person

No one in our 19 person wedding party helped plan our wedding, only my mother & my husband & I did the planning. We didn't have a wedding planner. In my opinion, it's 100% on the bride & groom to plan their wedding unless they hire a wedding planner.