Bridesmaid/sister excluded from bachelorette getaway

I have not been in this situation, but I would get it out in the open now rather than let it fester. Maybe just an open chat with her and let her know, hey I know going out isn’t my thing (not my thing either) but I was really looking forward to celebrating with you. It may have just been an honest mistake and her looking out for you bc she knows you aren’t normally into that.

Reach out to your sister! I bet that she does want you there and was just trying to be considerate. Nothing good comes from hiding your true feelings, as a bride myself, neither of my older sisters are coming to my bachelorette and it’s due to their finances/work schedule/children. They were so worried I’d be hurt they couldn’t go and I was worried that I was putting a burden on them! Communication is key in this situation!

My brother was not invited to my FH bachelor party even though he is a groomsman. Yes, the bridal party is traditionally invited, but sometimes family/siblings are excluded because perhaps she doesn't want to talk about sex/get wasted etc in front of family. This could be especially true if you are the older sibling and her and her friends see you as 'adult supervision'.

I would say communication is key, but also, if your sister just wants to hang out with her friends, don't be offended, just understand that people have different relationships and show different sides in front of people. Maybe she doesn't want to be a 'party girl' in front of family.

That seems extremely weird and extremely rude of her... I was a bridesmaid for my good friend and all her sisters are way older with kids. The one went to the bachelorette weekend but decided to keep their mom company while the rest of us (including her other older sister) went out to bar hop. It was great! I would've been pissed. I wouldn't even say you are hurt by being left out I would just ask her why the hell your aren't invited when she just assumed it's cuz you have a toddler. Say you were actually looking forward to a getaway but she didn't even take your thoughts into consideration.

That’s definitely an odd one and a real bummer. I understand from the perspective of her as the bride maybe mentally preparing for the fact that you might not be able or willing to go, and becoming okay with that as a possibility , but to not even extend the invite is definitely rude in my eyes .

i would definitely talk to her , whether directly (“am I not invited?” Or “mom said I wasn’t invited and the kinda hurt my feelings”) or passively (“is there a plan for this trip? A getaway sounds super fun for me, and I’d like to start saving if I need to”), but no matter what, I would encourage you to have the conversation . I understand and appreciate your not wanting to be a wet blanket, but tbh, she deserves it haha. I give the advice a lot on here (though usually it’s brides complaining about something silly about a bridesmaid)— bride SECOND, friend first , and I think it still applies here though in reverse. Remember she is your sister first , and a bride second, so don’t let her get away with something just because she’s the bride — you’re sisters for life, and the non-addressing can lead to long term hurt or grudge holding. MAYBE she does have a reason (like a PP mentioned the ‘family dynamic’ thing, all though in that situation it’s talking about a bride’s brother with her future husband which I think is a DRASTICALLY different scenario ....but still, there could be something to that), but she at least owes you the explanation. And in that case, I’d say do hear her out and be willing to listen instead of just getting upset. Having the conversation doesn’t mean her weekend is ruined, and it could just mean an answer for you, even if the outcome doesn’t really make you happy. All said and done though, definitely worth a conversation in my eyes.

What is an "honorary bridesmaid"? I would just talk to your sister in person and tell her you feel left out. It's super weird to not invite all the wedding party to events.

View Quoted Comment This is my question too. Do you mean honorary as in it’s just a title and you’re not actually standing up in the wedding? Either way I’d be hurt too that she didn’t ask you to go on the trip even if her intentions were not to burden you.

I'm so sorry - that sucks.

Other people reading this! PLEASE remember you may think you know about people's finances but you don't! You may think someone has lots of money to spend and they aren't comfortable spending that much and you may think someone can't do something but it's best to ask them and let them decide.

I hope you can talk to your sister and go with her to celebrate.