Originally, I had 6 bridesmaids. My fiance wanted to make sure we were even but I have had a lot of problems during the past year.
First, after moooooontttthhhhssss of trying to plan a bachelorette party, it never happened.. all because one of my bridesmaids (my cousin) was angry with me for saying she could not bring her baby.. to a bachelorette party. She has separation anxiety and has never slept apart from her children since they have been born so I said I understood and changed the entire trip to something closer ( it was originally a 1 night stay / going to Disneyland; my fave place 3 hours away) but she still refused to leave her youngest baby at home. (8 months old) This bridesmaid is my cousin and her mom and husband are both off and available and offered to watch both of her children all weekend so she could go but again, she refused. This caused tension and I was so calm and nice until eventually I couldn't take it anymore because my other bridesmaids and I had completely changed the entire bachelorette party to something I wouldn't even enjoy and it still wasn't good enough. We didn;t talk much for months and recently (3 ish months ago) we started talking more again and we've been fine but my other bridesmaid who is also close friends with her started feeling like she "doesn't fit into my life anymore because I make her feel bad about her own life) How? I'm getting married, I have lost over 50 pounds and I am continuing to lose more, my fiance and I are more financially stable than the average 22 year old and we have had our own place for years and we are starting our lives. That sounds braggy and weird but before you assume that; what I just said is the list she gave me when I asked her why she felt that way. I don't understand because it isn't difficult for me surrounding myself with people who are doing more than I am right now because I believe we all have our own timeline and I am not behind, she is not behind, we are all doing what we are supposed to be doing right now. However, she has a lot o problems with her weight; we had the original starting weight when we started trying to lose together months ago, but she was already vocal about being uncomfortable about that because I am 5'8 and she is 5'1. I let her stay with us for about 3 weeks so we could do this program I paid for us to do (as a present to her) because she talked about the program a lot and we both needed an "intro to keto" kind fo a thing to help us really commit to it since that was our goal. When she started comparing herself, her weight, and her body to mine I started feeling uncomfortable and I stopped talking to her about anything weight loss related because she gave up after those 3 weeks, went back home, and said she didn't want to talk about it. I didn't text her/ show her personally and would never want to rub it in her face BUT I admit that I have gained a lot of confidence I haven't had in years and have posted 3-4 progress (before and during kind of photos) on social media because I am so proud of the progress I have made and this rubbed her the wrong way.. she has mentioned it to mutual friends and it confuses me that she isn't happy for me and is instead making it about her.. or me making her feel bad about her own body. Again, I haven't intentionally done that at all. After 3-4 weeks of virtually no communication, as she told me she was going through something so I gave her space but checked on her once every week or so, she sent a long text that was pretty much a breakup text. She said some hurtful things. I am confused and sad. (sorry that I keep repeating myself I'm emotional.)
In the long text, she said "during the past few weeks since I left your house, I have found myself not wanting to contact you and I am so much happier when you are not a factor in my life." OUCH. She also said "I just feel like I don't fit into your life anymore. You are getting married, talking about children, and spend everyday at the gym. That is not me." My cousin, who she spends virtually all of her time off with is married and already has children. My psychologist said it is a cop out and I should let her go and I know she is probably right but it still hurts. I mean my wedding is 3 months away. I'm hurting.
Our wedding party; Bridesmaids:
-older sister
-childhood best friend (neither of the mentioned friends.. we are so close..no problems there)
- other older sister
- family friend who is a second mom to me/ VERY important person in my life
- cousin/friend who I've had drama with
- ̶e̶x̶ ̶f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶
Groomsman:
Groom's Dad
Groom's Brother
My Brother
His Best Friend
His other good friend (my sister's boyfriend)
Cousin's husband (he for some reason felt obligated to ask and now regrets it... I know.. WHY?)
Sorry about the long post.. If ANYONE has some sort of advice on how to handle this moving forward I'd appreciate it!!! My psychologist suggested asking my cousin if she still wants to be in the wedding because I need to make sure.. MUA/hair stylist/ everyone needs to know how many people I will have.. I've already ordered robes for everyone and was baout to buy more bridesmaids gifts but I'm going to wait on that.
