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Lauren
Dedicated September 2021

Bridesmaids

Lauren, on November 12, 2019 at 4:17 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 39

How did you choose how many bridesmaids to have? I thought I had the ideal number with 4, including a cousin, my sister, and two CLOSE friends. A few people, aunts, some of my mom's friends, inquired and have asked why I don't have more, or how I left certain people out. One even told me it is tradition to have an odd number of bridesmaids.

I would love some feedback!

39 Comments

Latest activity by Lauren, on December 4, 2019 at 3:55 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I asked the people that I couldn't imagine getting married without. There happened to be four of them. I didn't put anymore thought into it.

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  • Lauren
    VIP September 2019
    Lauren ·
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    There isn't any tradition that I know of that dictates how many bridesmaids you should have. I have seen none, one, and up to 10. I personally had 6.

    I wouldn't add more just for numbers or because people might feel left out. You chose those 4 for a reason. Stick with it. So many brides have had regrets because they chose too early (relationships grow and change) or because they felt obligated to include all their sisters, cousins, aunts, nieces, childhood friends, college roomates, coworkers...etc.

    It's all too much. Pick your nearest and dearest and leave it at that. It is still an honor to be invited to witness your marriage.

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  • Kristal
    Expert February 2020
    Kristal ·
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    I went with 3 because 3 people immediately came to mind for both my FH and I. We toyed around with the idea of adding a 4th but we are both glad we didnt since both of our picks for the 4th have been rather flaky with keeping in touch even as friends.

    Limiting factors for me include space in my house (bach party) and my bridal suite (getting ready). Also, you'll want to consider the size of your guest list and how much space there is at your ceremony site. If you have a 50 guest wedding, you don't want 1/5 of your attendees standing up with you. You also want to make sure that your ladies or gents can work, or at the least socialize, well together. It will save a lot of discomfort at the bach party.

    Also if any of your ladies/gents have trouble socially, it wouldn't be a bad idea to limit the size of your party for that reason.

    If you have a lot of people who you really want to include in your wedding party, that is fine but do not feel obligated to include people in your wedding party just because they are related to you, especially if they are not regularly part of your life.

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  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
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    I only wanted my two older sisters and my FSIL as my bridal party, so I have three. The numbers aren't important, the people are. Smiley smile

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  • Ashley
    Super November 2020
    Ashley ·
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    We are having 4 on each side. I've never heard of the odd number tradition, personally. I chose my sister, best friend, and two closest cousins. We are having an intimate wedding (80 guest max) so instead of choosing between friends, I decided to go with my two cousins since I've obviously known them my whole life and there really is only a few people I'm closer to than them anyways.

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  • Katie
    Devoted November 2020
    Katie ·
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    You do however many you want. You shouldnt have to explain why ppl are in your bridemaid party or why they arent that's ridiculous
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  • Erin
    Expert November 2019
    Erin ·
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    Hmm...I’ve never heard of any traditions regarding how many bridesmaids one should have. I had four bridesmaids as my husband had four groomsmen (although one had to step down). If I could have had it my way, I would have had more, but my hubby didn’t have many and we wanted to keep both sides equal. Anyway, you should choose as you’d like.
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  • Lauren
    Dedicated September 2021
    Lauren ·
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    Amazing. That's what I did, but then I started getting all this feedback and got worried.

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  • Lauren
    Dedicated September 2021
    Lauren ·
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    Thank you guys!! I thought I had it figured out but all the older women in my life made me question things.

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  • Amanda
    Master December 2020
    Amanda ·
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    I looked at my friends group and who I wanted with me and chose from that, FH kept with my number (until recently adding one haha)
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  • Jade
    Expert November 2021
    Jade ·
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    I based my amount on how many groomsmen FH wanted to have. He has way more lifelong friends than I do so I decided to let him decide. He wanted 5, which worked perfectly for me. If he wanted 6 I could’ve added another friend easily, same with if he wanted less. I know a lot of people have uneven parties but that would annoy me Lol. I’m leaving out one friend that I think might be upset for a bit. But the 5 I picked are the original ones I thought of when I thought of who would stand next to me.
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  • CourtneyBrittain
    Master August 2019
    CourtneyBrittain ·
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    I did the same, I found the ones I knew I wanted (I let my husband pick the number of people so that he didn't have to struggle to find numbers) and then I just said "this is who I want" and stood by it. It's not up to the other people, it is up to you and your husband.

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  • K
    Devoted July 2021
    Kendra ·
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    I have 4 in my bridal party. I don’t have many girlfriends but my one friend i couldn’t imagine not including her. Besides that i have my 2 sisters and my FH daughter
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  • E
    Devoted November 2019
    Emily ·
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    There’s not a tradition I know of to have an odd number. And it sounds like to me someone knows someone who feels left out.
    Our number was decided on as a couple. I wanted more but my guy didn’t. We compromised on a small wedding party.
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  • Marné
    Dedicated February 2020
    Marné ·
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    I knew I didn't want a huge bridal party. I had 3 solid choices and then added a 4th.
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  • Christina
    Dedicated October 2021
    Christina ·
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    Originally I wanted to have even parties on both sides. I had 4 girls that I had to absolutely included, FH has 3 in that same mindset. I debated cutting the fourth girl to make it even, because I didn’t want him adding someone just to make things even. But then I thought how silly it was to cut someone for the same reason! So we will have 4 BM and 3 GM. I think it’s about having people you absolutely can’t live without, regardless of the numbers. I wouldn’t want to look back and have people in my party that weren’t close to my heart.
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  • Erika
    Devoted August 2021
    Erika ·
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    I have 3 Bridesmaids.
    2 cousins and my bff. My Sister is my MOH.
    I knew right off the bat they are the ones I wanted next to me.


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  • V
    Devoted August 2020
    Valerie ·
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    You can have however many you want and let me tell you you are saving yourself money by having four. My “perfect” number was five because that was one of my favorite numbers and I like odd numbers but hubby asked to bump it up to six to include another friend. So then I got to thinking and bumped it up to eight to include all my friends and not have to pick and choose.
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  • Aimee
    Super July 2021
    Aimee ·
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    I just have 2 close friends as bridesmaids. 1) It is very expensive to be a bridesmaid, 2)My sisters both live in different countries 3) Less people to give me opinions about the wedding 4) Less drama trying to coordinate everyone to meet up etc. 5) My FH does not have many close friends, so wanted to keep the number low

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  • Danica
    Dedicated October 2019
    Danica ·
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    I had 4 girls - 2 MOHs & 2 bridesmaids. MOHs - my younger sister & my best friend of 22 years. Bridesmaids - one of my good friends & my "adopted" younger sister (good family friend)
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