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Dedicated September 2020

Bridesmaids

Ashlei, on November 13, 2019 at 12:49 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 21

** LONGISH POST**
Does anyone else’s bridesmaids kind of.. suck? Let me start by saying my MOH has been awesome even with her full time job/ full time 3rd semester in nursing school/clinical, and has done MUCH more than the ones not in school or any crazy schedules. And I don’t think I’ve asked for much. Really I have asked for anything.. I started a group message trying to get their opinions on bridesmaids dresses, since they are the ones having to wear them I wanted their input/opinions and honestly didn’t get much. I’m paying for their dresses and want them to be comfortable and happy! And now that I’ve finally figured out the 3 different dress choices/colors I’ve sent them money and told them to please go to David’s Bridal’s soon and let me know dress/size/color and I’ll order it for them they all live with in 5 miles of a David’s bridal and have a lot of free time per their snap chat/IG story. My MOH went on a break between classes like the first week and sent me her stuff. I feel like I’m not asking a whole lot and it’s a little disheartening. And I don’t want to come off as a “bridezilla” and be like “it’s been a month come on” but the dresses take sometime to come in and I’m paying so it’s not like they need to save money to buy them. I just don’t know what to do.

21 Comments

Latest activity by Sierra, on December 11, 2019 at 12:27 PM
  • Shelby
    Expert November 2020
    Shelby ·
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    First I want to say how awesome and generous it is of you that you are paying for their dresses! 💙 second, I wonder if maybe they feel slightly weird that you are paying for their dresses and they don’t want to find something that will cost too much. Maybe give it a week or so and try to reach out to them again. 😊 Maybe even offer “would you like me to go shopping with you?”, they may not want to shop alone and pick something that you won’t like.
    Good luck! ☺️
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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ashlei ·
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    So I’ve sent them the order number of the 3 dresses I decided on and just need to know what their size/style is so I don’t order them something that is to big/small. And unfortunately I moved to a different state a few years back, so 2 of my bridesmaids still live there so I can’t go shopping with them unfortunately 😞. And I have 4 bridesmaids/MOH total and 3 out of 4 have to drive/fly here and pay for a place to stay, so I’d hate for them to have to spend to much just to be in my wedding.
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  • Shelby
    Expert November 2020
    Shelby ·
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    Oh okay gotcha. Hmm, I’m sorry this is happening to you 😕. I would still suggest waiting about a week to reach out to them again and hopefully by then they will go look at the dresses 😊
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  • Mallory
    Dedicated October 2020
    Mallory ·
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    This is happening to me too, so i definitely know what you’re going through. one of my bridesmaids decided to “opt out” of the wedding because she’s “just too busy”. i was her maid of honor and now she hardly speaks to me. she doesn’t respond to any forms of communication now (and hardly even before), so after awhile i just stopped. she claimed she’s still coming to the wedding, but my bet is she won’t. i’m sorry people are like this, it’s really sad.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Choose a date to go shopping or a couple for the ladies to cost from and those that can't make it will need to accept what the others choose. Let them try on the dresses to see. Put a deadline nicely of we need to have the dresses ordered by this date. Deadlines express urgency. Let them choose between two dates and then you all go and make a decision. If no one shows, then choose the dress your moh chose. If they're serious they'll be there, if you're still having issues maybe talk to each one and ask what is going on.
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  • Crystal
    Devoted October 2020
    Crystal ·
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    I think saying you need the dresses orders by x is fair. You can also send an email and ask them
    to get measured now so they can get their dresses on Black Friday. (David’s bridal does a deal). None of my
    bridesmaids ordered theirs or got measured yet. People keep saying it’s because people don’t realize how much ahead you need to do.

    What I think is weird, is they accepted your money for the dresses and didn’t go right away. I know if I had a friend who gave me money for a dress, I’d do it right away.
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  • E
    Devoted November 2019
    Emily ·
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    Maybe just ask them for their sizes or mail them a measuring tape. Then order the dresses and tell them you will have to pay for alterations
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  • Stephanie
    Savvy September 2020
    Stephanie ·
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    I would just remind them of the time frame recommended by the David’s bridal for ordering dresses. My maids are getting their dresses online, so I just recently texted them to let them know that the site recommends ordering 3-4 months before the wedding and that they also have to order within 24 hours of each other to make sure everything is made from the same dye lot. My wedding isn’t until September so it’s not even close to when they need to order, but I think if you just make them aware of how long it will take might help them get moving lol
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Your wedding is 7 months away so I wouldn’t order dresses this early anyway. As long as they order in time for the wedding, I don’t see the issue.
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  • Jade
    Devoted August 2021
    Jade ·
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    I agree with people above that say you need to give them a deadline. If it were me I would have done it right away. But I’m the type to get things done immediately. Not everyone is that way sadly. I’d stress your concerns, and give a deadline asap! I totally get you being frustrated though. I’d deff feel the same way! Especially since you’re being so generous and paying for their dresses. Good luck to you with everything! 🤗
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  • Nicole
    Super August 2020
    Nicole ·
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    My bridesmaids don’t suck, I love them but I feel as if I can’t go to them for wedding stuff. I feel that it’s a bother or hassle since we’re all so busy with work and our personal lives. I’m the first to get married in my friend group and to have a wedding in the family in a really really long time. My first MOH lives 2-3 hours away from me, and my second MOH is always busy. So I’ve planned mostly everything on my own and texted my first MOH here and there, but it’s kind of been sad going through this alone when it has been so fun planning and should be an exciting time in our lives.
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  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
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    I would give them a deadline. Maybe they don’t realize ordering their dresses needs to be done now, and it can be so easy to let time get away from you without an actually timeline in place. I would send them all an individual text with their closest David’s bridal, and ask if they need you to make them an appointment. I wouldn’t go so far as to say they suck, they probably just aren’t as invested in your wedding right now as you are. Unfortunately that happens and I hope as time gets closer they get more excited for you.
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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ashlei ·
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    Thanks everyone, I guess I should add a few things.
    Ive already picked out the dresses just need their size in the dress, also I live in a different state than a few of the girls so going out and shopping with them isn’t an option. I’m ordering the dresses now because my wedding planner said Oct, early Nov at the latest was when they needed to be ordered. This has been going on since the 2nd week of Oct. I did tell them by Nov 15 I needed all their sizes so I could get the dresses ordered and sent to them in time so I guess we will see in the next few days if they all go and get their size. I know not everyone’s going to be as excited as I am for my wedding but, I just feel like I’m not asking a whole lot here and even paying for it, they drive by the stores daily (I know where they live and work they legit have to drive by the store daily) I just feel like taking 5 minutes to walk in and find your size isn’t horrible. It may be annoying but after it’s over they have nothing else to do
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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ashlei ·
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    My wedding planner said we should get their dresses ordered by end of oct middle of nov. that’s why I’m ordering them now, plus with how difficult it’s been I’m glad I’m doing it sooner than later.
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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ashlei ·
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    That’s what I’ve done was ask for their sizes. And said they could go to David’s bridal and get the exact size in the dress so there’s no issue with wrong sizing or whatever
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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Ashlei ·
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    The part that kills me is my MOH has a full time job and is a full time student in nursing school/clinicals and she’s managed to find 5 minutes to go get her size. 2 of the others just bartend and work 5pm-11pm 3-4 days a week and no school and have plenty of time for other things. I’m not asking to be 1st priority but it’s has been going on since the 2nd week of oct.
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  • Springbride
    Dedicated 0000
    Springbride ·
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    Wow that's super nice of you! since your being so nice I would not feel bad maybe saying "hey can you please order your dress by X date"

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  • Katie
    Super November 2019
    Katie ·
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    Ordering from David's Bridal it only takes about a month to come in for bridesmaids dresses so you still have time. I would wait until closer to your wedding to have them order just incase their weight changes and the dress then becomes too big / too small, alterations can end up costing as much or more than the dress itself in those cases.
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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    We got our dresses from David's super quick (one got hers the same week!) but I had a similar situation! All of them got them less than a month after they ordered which is really nice!

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  • Sierra
    Dedicated July 2021
    Sierra ·
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    Mallory, I am so sorry you're going through this! It is really hard being the one who reaches out and keeps hitting a brick wall. Especially when it is someone who you were once close to. I hope it doesn't put a damper on things.

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