Bridesmaids

I guess I don't really understand why you don't want her to be a bridesmaid. Every relationship is different, and some will have more history than others. To me that's not a real reason to not make her a bridesmaid. If you just want four ladies then just leave it at that. If you're ok with five, why not add her in. Also, the usher role is kind of outdated in my opinion. So if you wanted her to do something else I think reader is a better option.

Doing a reading is an honor, being an usher is a job.

I like the reader. She’s part of the wedding-not just before.

I, too, don't understand why she wouldn't be a bridesmaid? If you're close with her, you can ask her to be in the party. You don't have to have the exact same level of friendship with everyone in the party. I also agree with PPs about reader > usher.

I agree with Sinaya. Why can't you just make her a bridesmaid?

I've been an usher, reader, bridesmaid, MOH and I've never felt brushed off, but that depends a lot on your relationship with her.

I enjoy being a guest as much as ( sometimes more than) being a bridesmaid. I think k it can be a mistake to add this one and that one as an extra honor. Find time even when you are busy wedding planning, to see her. So she does not feel she is being cut out because you seem to do everything just with bridesmaids as the wedding nears. Make a point of seeing she is on your shower list, and sit and chat. I don't especially want to be in any more weddings. But many brides hardly do anything with anyone that is not focused on the wedding, or wedding party, for months at a time. And I sometimes want the friends time that goes missing from their schedule. Not any part in the wedding itself. Make the point t that she is still a close friend, though not a bridesmaid, but going to a movie, or a local concert or listening room, or sitting around talking on the phone while each of you does chores or handwork. It is that friend time, not any role in the wedding, that I find myself missing. And I think a lot of brides do not realize that they. Early disappear to all but WP friends for months and months. Even my own sisters. I have 4 sis and 4 bro. In the years of them being home and me at college, 3.5 hour drive, we got together 2-3 hours a week, not as a group usually, but each of us with each of the others. Same though different colleges and jobs. But I lived within 20 minutes of three of them before they married, and saw them no more than when I was in the army and 3-4,000 miles away for six months at a time between leaves. No, I did not want to be in the weddings. Far from it. But anyone not in the wedding, ceased to exist. That never happened with brothers. Never happened with male friends. But happened with lots and lots of women friends. Same as when some women meet and are dating a new guy, and suddenly disappear from everyone's lives. If she is important, though not as close as a BM, do not feel she needs a role in the wedding. Just tend your regular friendship with a regular few hours together now and then.