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Beginner November 2021

Bridesmaids

Hillary, on September 25, 2019 at 9:18 PM Posted in Planning 0 5

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I have a coworker that I absolutely love. We refer to each other as work twins. She has hinted several times about how she is ready to be a bridesmaid, I just have to tell her when and where. Problem is, I don’t ever see her outside of work. Other problem is I plan to have two other coworkers as bridesmaids that I do see outside of work. I don’t want to hurt this girls feelings. I plan to do a “surprise dance” for my fiancé and I’ve already asked her to be included in that. I’m worried if I don’t ask her to be a bridesmaid she might flake out on being in the dance. Do I just make her a bridesmaid anyway? That would make it an odd number , 7. I feel conflicted!

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on September 26, 2019 at 7:37 AM

Just Said Yes May 2021
Pariss · on September 25, 2019 at 9:27 PM
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Don't create drama for yourself, even if a decision you make might make someone else unhappy. After all is said and done, the wedding is about you and you're future partner... not who you felt "should or shouldn't" have been part of the bridal party. Do right by yourself.

Also, if the you think she might flake on the dance by not being a bridesmaid... that doesn't exactly seem like she's the right people to stand by you at the alter. Find a way to include her but don't stress about it too much.
I'm struggling with a similar issue. It ain't easy! Good luck!
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on September 25, 2019 at 10:57 PM
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Just have who you want up there with you and not who you feel obligated to ask.
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Dedicated October 2019
Stephanie · on September 25, 2019 at 11:05 PM
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Don't do it if you think you'll regret it.

You don't need to validate anything and it doesn't mean you care any less about her if you refrain from asking. It's a bit presumptuous on her end to be hinting anything, but I can understand the excitement and maybe she feels closer to you than you do to her.

However, don't cave. If you start with one thing, it'll snowball. It's your day and don't feel guilty about it.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on September 26, 2019 at 7:17 AM
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Don’t let anyone pressure you in to something like that. Even if it hurts her a bit don’t have her if she wasn’t part of your original plan.
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VIP December 2020
Amanda · on September 26, 2019 at 7:37 AM
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I agree with PP's. Don't create drama for yourself or add another bridesmaid to make one person happy. Does she know you have already selected your bridal party? I would explain to her that I had already selected my party however, I did have a special part for her and would be honored if she could be part of the festivities.
I also have a friend/coworker who is not a bridesmaid but is involved in our wedding. She was literally thrilled to do whatever would help us out! I think if you sit down and speak with her openly and honestly about everything she will be fine.
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