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Chrisheena
Devoted November 2019

Bridesmaids

Chrisheena, on November 6, 2019 at 5:50 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 23
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I would like to kno how was your bridal party experience for example did they help you prepare for the big day? Did they check up on you from time to time? I know bridesmaids dont have to really do anything but it seems to me if your in a wedding, at least offer to help with anything instead of just showing up. I got them two gifts and I feel that's enough. If they offer me help then I wouldn't mind with the gift giving. None of them showed up for my fitting, none of them showed up for my birthday which really hurt my feelings. I ask one of my bridesmaids to make some paper flowers because she does them soo well and she told me to get the paper, like I dont have a million and one things going on. Lil tasks like tht and they still cant come thru. Ughhhh am I wrong for thinking and feeling this way? I dont ask for much and I even Expressed I cant do this by myself and yet I feel like I'm by myself smh. What are bridesmaids really good for?

23 Comments

Latest activity by MrsHamm, on November 8, 2019 at 1:36 PM
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    I had 10 bridesmaids and they didn’t help with anything with the wedding and I didn’t expect them to. My MOHs threw me a shower and bachelorette but not all the bridesmaids could attend those. Other than that I kept up my normal friendships with them throughout the planning process and talked about other things that were going on in our lives.
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  • Jennifer
    Devoted September 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    Where is your FH in all of this? If you're overwhelmed with the amount of things to plan and do, maybe sit him down and ask him to help you with a few things. Your bridesmaids have their own lives and stresses to contend with, and honestly your day isn't their day. In their shoes, how involved do you think you'd be in their planning? Sure, showing interest and offering to help is very nice but try not to hold it against them if they don't.

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  • Chrisheena
    Devoted November 2019
    Chrisheena ·
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    My FH is here and I explained to him and he's doing his part in that. I'm not gonna hold this against them. I guess I'm wrong for feeling like this. It just feels like my girls should be here for me and I feel like their not. My Fh can do so much. He dont kno nothing about centerpieces or anything of the sort. But I've been reading stories on here and I guess my expectations are just bs. I'm gonna chill out and let it go
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  • Chrisheena
    Devoted November 2019
    Chrisheena ·
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    I'm just wrong and I'm gonna let it go
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  • Jennifer
    Devoted September 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    I wouldn't say you're wrong for feeling the way you do! Your feelings are valid, you want to feel supported by your friends (which is totally normal). Unfortunately, it seems like a common thing on this forum for brides to feel let down by their bridal party/families in this respect. Cherish the times when people reach out and show them gratitude when they do. Good luck with your planning and try not to get too wrapped up in the details! 🙂
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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    I would just focus on your friendships with them first. Talk to them about things that don’t have to do with the wedding. I think the media portrays bridal parties unrealistically and the reality is people are all adults with lives and families and stressors of their own. Not everyone has the time or mental capacity to help plan someone else’s wedding. But if there’s something specifically you’re needing more support around it’s okay to ask.
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  • Patricia
    Dedicated March 2020
    Patricia ·
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    Aww dont be so hard on yourself as people we have feelings and expections . Im sad to hear nobody celebrated your bday with you. Just keep your head up and keep kicking butt💪 in this wedding planning... Good Luck Girl
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  • Jess
    Expert October 2019
    Jess ·
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    My wedding party didn’t help plan anything but my MOH checked in on me and made herself available whenever she could. However my two bridesmaids weren’t that way and my husbands sister actually kinda sucked and they made my bachelorette party pretty bad as well, my MOH has to leave early which was totally okay but after she left the party sucked lol, my husband came home and i was sooo upset after the party. But they all got their clothes and shoes and showed up on time on the wedding day lol.
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  • V
    Rockstar July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Unfortunately a lot of bridesmaids don't help, but they aren't required to either. I had 4 bridesmaids and a bridesman and only one of them really helped with anything and that was my husband's sister. Her and I are really close so I wanted her to be in the wedding. She called me like once a week or would text me all of the time to see if I wanted/needed help. She had been a bridesmaid 10+ times and worked in the wedding industry so she was used to helping. Never once did I tell her I expected her to help she just volunteered to help. She helped plan most of my bridal shower along with my mom. She also put together a video of photos of my husband and I. I had asked my mother-in-law for photos and my sister-in-law told me she would handle the video unless another bridesmaid wanted to. I told her I didn't think any of the other bridesmaids wanted to, but I could handle it, but she said she was more than happy to. Meanwhile, the rest of my bridal party didn't really do anything. My maid of honor made my life more difficult, my bridesman was pretty laid back and just went with the flow, and the other bridesmaids didn't do really anything.

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  • B
    Super July 2018
    Brittany ·
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    I don't believe that bridesmaids should help with the planning of the actual wedding so I didn't ask them to help me plan or make decorations for the wedding, and I've never heard of bridesmaids that did help the bride plan the wedding, they just help with the pre-wedding festivities.

    Most came with me when I picked my dress, we all went together to get bridesmaid dresses, they helped my mom throw my shower, they planned and attend my bachelorette, came to the rehearsal, stayed the night with me before the wedding and got ready with me in the morning.

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  • Danielle
    Expert May 2021
    Danielle ·
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    Not showing up for ya fitting and not checking in ya bday is weird since they are ya bm's. Just keeping it real.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    Mine didn't really help with anything except on the big day they were given tasks and did help
    I had some offer help beforehand and I mostly asked for opinions on things. But generally they don't really help with planning
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  • Chrisheena
    Devoted November 2019
    Chrisheena ·
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    Awwwww thank you and I'm doing just that 💁🏾‍♀️❤❤❤❤❤❤poot them 😂😂😂😂😂
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  • Chrisheena
    Devoted November 2019
    Chrisheena ·
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    Same thing I was thinking 😩😔😔😔
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  • Chrisheena
    Devoted November 2019
    Chrisheena ·
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    At least you had one tht was really eager to help. It's the thought ya kno. I kno bm don't have to do anything but as good good girlfriends why not. At least check on me ya kno. I wish I was tht close with my fh sister in law but she dont care for me too much.
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  • Chrisheena
    Devoted November 2019
    Chrisheena ·
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    Wooow, and that's what gggf supposed to do check up on ya to make sure things is running smoothly but ppl have a life which I totally understand but geesh if I can take time to check on them then they can think of me sometimes. But besides the bull I'm happy everything worked out for you .
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  • Chrisheena
    Devoted November 2019
    Chrisheena ·
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    But I'm saying for them to plan my wedding, why would I do tht? All i ask is for them to check up on me sometimes like I check on them. They couldn't even show up for my birthday get together they couldn't show up for my dress fitting that I told them ahead of time. I'm not asking alot. But good good girlfriends supposed to support and look out for each other. I'm planning my wedding thank you very much. We all adults I clearly understand tht. But if we been long time friends its nothing wrong offering help. Social media dont have nothing to do with common sense. If it was vice versa and i was a bridesmaids in my good good girlfriends wedding, ooh I'm offering to help because that's my friend. Perioddddddt so dont make me feel wrong for feeling the way I'm feeling. 😐
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  • Chrisheena
    Devoted November 2019
    Chrisheena ·
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    You get where I'm coming from and thank you for that. The feed back is like I'm asking my bm to plan my wedding and that's not the case. All I want is support that's all. You kno how many breakdowns I had during this process only to have not just bridesmaids, these are my friends. You how much it hurts for none of them to show up when I need them. It hurts alot. At times I really feel alone. Yes I have my fh but I dont want to lose it in front of him. He has enough going on. Ugghhhhhh I just dont kno smh but I'm gonna get thru this and I'm gonna try not to stress over it.
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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    I didn’t mean to imply that at all! I think it would be good to tell them how you’re feeling in the friendship. I don’t think it’s required to go to your dress fitting, but I think if you need to pick up the phone and call them for emotional support at times and they aren’t able to reciprocate then I would question the friendship. I think friendship goes two ways and a lot of times we assume our loved ones know how we’re feeling which isn’t the case. I’ve had to reach out to friends in the past and say that I was needing more or feeling neglected.
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  • Chrisheena
    Devoted November 2019
    Chrisheena ·
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    I've Expressed that to all three of them, and still ........nothing that's why I had to replaced my MOH. I just couldn't deal with the drama and the negativity. Ughhhh but its gonna be beautiful regardless of what. Because I'm awesome ♥️🤞🏾
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