Bridesmaids

They are not required to go dress shopping with you for your dress. I would expect them to shop with you for their dresses unless you are just picking one and having them order it. Nobody will be as excited for your wedding as you are and she’s probably got other things going on in her life besides your wedding.

Bridesmaids aren’t really required to anything but show up to the wedding and stand by you at the altar. I only had my MOH come dress shopping with me, along with my mom and FMIL. I have not and will not ask my bridesmaids to do anything but pick a dress and show up to the rehearsal dinner and wedding. My MOH will be planning my bachelorette party and she’ll reach out to the other girls but they aren’t required to participate if they don’t want to.

You should lower your expectations. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

View Quoted Comment Sorry I should've clarified that she is my maid of honor.

View Quoted Comment Even though she is your MOH, it still isn’t required that she go dress shopping with you. If you really want her there, just tell her you would love for her to be there. Not because she’s MOH, but because she’s a friend and you value her opinion. That may change her mind. But no one in the bridal party is required to do anything they don’t want to do.

It’s not a requirement that they are involved in all the parts leading up to your wedding. I would just tell them when you’re planning on going and whoever can make it and wants to come will and leave it at that.

Neither of my MOH’s went dress shopping with me. I have 2 MOH’s and 4 bridesmaids, only 1 came because it was more important to me to have my mom and grandma there and I didn’t want too many opinions. I don’t think they need to be a part of every single thing you plan. Of course it would be nice but everyone is not going to be as excited about every aspect of your wedding as you are. I wouldn’t require anyone to attend but extend the invite and have those who are actually interested in being there attend.

View Quoted Comment I agree with Hillary. If you really want her there this is the right approach. I didn’t have any of my bridesmaids at my dress shopping. I had a first look with them instead.

My MOH has had a lot going on in her life lately (two deaths in the family, changing jobs, etc), And while your MOH may not have such big things happening she does have her own life and stuff going on. That being said, I do trust my MOH’s opinion above anyone else, my mom will tell me I look beautiful in every dress I’m sure, so I have done my best to schedule appts around her schedule. I wouldn’t expect her to participate in everything or show as much enthusiasm, but if it’s important to you that she is there for certain things like helping you find the dress, talk to her about it. If she’s your MOH, I assume you are close and there’s a reason you chose her- focus on that. If you have expectations beyond buying the dress you select for your wedding party and standing next to you on the day, it’s probably best you discuss them with her now and find out if that’s something she is willing and able to do. Good luck!

I don't think they need to be involved in everything. however I do know there's certain things some brides would like their involvement in though. I didn't really involve mine in much other than getting their opinions for things

I understand what you mean but It’s definitely not a requirement. I think it’s nice of you to ask and whoever wants to go goes.

I know I’d love to go dress shopping with any of my close friends. If i wasn’t excited enough for the person to go dress shopping with them i probably am not close enough to them to be in their wedding lol

I also don’t think the bridal party is required to do anything but pay for their attire and show up. If you’d like the support then yes express that but I don’t think she should be made to feel like she has to.

It's not required, and unfortunately they don't have to do anything pre-wedding related other than find their own dress. It's definitely disappointing, because we want them involved...but some people just don't get excited about things like that. She may have a super busy life right now, and can't accommodate your wishes.

I went dress shopping with only my mom and really enjoyed it!

I think if someone can not go, it is fine... but for someone to say she does not need to be involved with anything for the wedding that is wrong... if she does not want to be involved, why agree to being a maid? just show up the day of as a guest

Thanks for the advice everyone! I guess I didnt quite understand the role of a bridesmaid in the wedding! This is my sister so I figured she would want to be more involved but I suppose everyone has their own things going on. Thanks again!

View Quoted Comment Yeah I think that's the way I was looking at it too. Thank you!!

She absolutely does not have to shop with you.