Bridesmaids

I don't understand what you mean who do you select for what? You gave them their titles and they accepted, what else do you need to decide?

If you decide to add more individuals to your BP, they can help you with anything your brother may not want or can help you with.

I would say let him help you with the finances and if he asks to help you with other things as time goes on, let him help. My FH and I didn't ask any of our bridal party to focus on anything for our wedding. They all have volunteered to help with things throughout the planning process and have volunteered to help with certain things the day of, but we did not specifically assign them things b/c my FH and I have done most of the work on our own. My sister is my MOH and she took it upon herself to start planning my bridal shower. My FH's BM started planning the bachelor party on his own but we didn't ask them to do it. Unless they ask to help, I personally wouldn't try to assign them things to do.

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Okay! That makes sense! Thank you!

It doesn’t have to be the maid of honor who plans those things so no need to have a “back up”. Anyone who wants to and offers can throw a shower or bachelorette party.

Ultimately, the only "requirement" for a bridal party is to show up on the day of the event in the appropriate attire. Outside of that, it's really whatever they feel up to helping with or what their skills are. You can ask for help with any aspect you feel you may need help with, but they aren't required to do anything else. All the pre-wedding parties (showers, bach, etc...) are not required events. If they want to plan those things, great. If not, that is fine too. As much as we wish it were different, nobody is as excited as we are for our wedding and not many people are going to be jumping at the chance to do all of the planning things. I got lucky with my bridal party and they have been great helping me narrow down a few decor choices and a few other little things, but the bulk of the work is my FH and I doing it ourselves. If you are unsure of what they may be interested in helping with you can always send them a message say "hey, we are doing X, would you like to help out?" or something similar. Just don't be too disappointed if they say no. It can be hard sometimes to balance out work and life and someone else's wedding. Be appreciative of their help and be understanding when they can't and you should be good.

Outside of planning a bridal shower and/or a bachelorette party, they don't have to do much. May be help you bustle your train and going to the bathroom. You can easily just ask another bridesmaid to help you with those

I was asking a question. I'm sorry that you found it crude, I'm not sure how else I could have rephrased it. Your wedding party's only requirement is to buy the outfit that you decide on and stand next to you on your big day. They are not required to throw you optional parties or do anything else, and you definitely shouldn't be designating who has to do it. If they offer on their own, that's great.

I would suggest that he not help plan any feminine things as it could be odd lol. Sometimes parents can plan the shower and even though you both have the opposite sex as your party why can't your bro help plan the bachelor party for your FH and your future SIL help with involvement of the shower or bachelorette if she wants. Bridal parties are technically only supposed to be there the day of but anytime I have been a BM I helped with others throw a bachelorette even if just a dinner but of course you can coordinate that too. If you would like a shower maybe your mom or MIL could organize and the future SIL can attend and it is up to her if she wants to help coordinate.