Maira
Beginner July 2020

Bridesmaids

Maira, on January 28, 2020 at 7:15 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 21
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Can I still have bridesmaids without having a ceremony? My husband and I already got married but since we had a small wedding we didn’t get to celebrate the way I wanted so now I’m having my wedding but without the ceremony? Is it weird to include bridesmaids?

21 Comments

Latest activity by Maria, on March 3, 2020 at 1:46 PM
  • VIP November 2021
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    So you are having just a reception , like an after wedding celebration— you COULD still have a wedding party, I’m sure close friends/family would be honored , still have speeches and a special table for them during it all...
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    I am lost. How are you having a wedding without the ceremony? Can you explain?

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I am confused as well. My guess is that she is just having a reception.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    Not understanding how you can have a wedding without a ceremony...

    How would you include bridesmaids?

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  • Maira
    Beginner July 2020
    Maira ·
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    I guess I should be more specific. We had a small ceremony last December and by small I mean only my husbands side of the family. I didn’t have a reception that’s what I’m planning to do this summer
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  • Maira
    Beginner July 2020
    Maira ·
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    I’m now just planning my reception, my husband and I had a small ceremony last December.
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  • Maira
    Beginner July 2020
    Maira ·
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    Yes! I didn’t have my family when I got married. My husbands from Texas and I’m from Oregon. We flew down there for family purposes and now we’re finally planning our reception
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    So how would you incorporate bridesmaids into a reception? If that is something you want to do, and your friends would agree to pay $100+ for a reception dress, you can absolutely do that. I am just not sure how you could incorporate a bridesmaid into a party, essentially.

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  • Alejandra
    Super November 2021
    Alejandra ·
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    I agree with this. It’s expensive to be a BM and without like a “proper” role, I would wonder if all you wanted me to do was show up looking pretty, ya know? You definitely can ask, and I don’t think it would be wrong, but I do think it’s unusual. I would be confused as a guest and as a BM.
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  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
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    We're having a bridal party for our reception but not for our ceremony. We are having the reception before our DW in Jamaica.
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Ahhh ok. I wouldn't be a bridesmaid for a reception personally. If you wanted to do it I would be as informal as possible. Maybe have them wear a dress off a certain color but something they own or they can but at a store that's not an official bridesmaids dress and did a symbolic ceremony?
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I think it is way too expensive to be a bridesmaid and groomsman just to attend basically a party. If you really want to have bridesmaids and groomsmen I would have a symbolic ceremony which is essentially the same thing as a regular ceremony. It would also be a nice way to include your family since they weren't included the first time.
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  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    If you aren't having a ceremony, there is no reason for bridesmaids since they only stand up with you during the ceremony. You are technically just having a party.

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Yes . You may choose those seated at the table with you, hosts choice. But where you are only having a dinner, their role is the same as everyone else. Without their participating in something, it seems like you would simply be designating them as " people I like better than the rest of you ". Which goes against every principle of social manners. As host, ever guest is equally important. Any time, separate from this reception, that you want to have a dinner party just for a small group of closest friends, and their SO, you may. But without any reason like a particular activity they do, as in the ceremony, clearly designating only some as best friends, will make others angry, or disappointed you do not value them. Not what you want. I hope .
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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I've seen this before. A couple got married at the courthouse before a deployment. Upon his return a year later they had their wedding reception and took formal portraits with a full wedding party. You can definitely do this, but I would steer clear of a bridal shower and bachelorette since you're already married! Have fun! Smiley smile

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  • Nefetera
    VIP March 2015
    Nefetera ·
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    Ok perfect then u can have your briadsmaids this is fine
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  • K
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Kat ·
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    My answer is YES girl. Absolutely. We will be having a small ceremony this summer with witnesses only, because neither of us can stand traditional weddings generally and we've been living together for over a decade so this is really just a formality for us. But our friends and family want to be able to celebrate too, so we are also planning a weekend-long camping trip for "reception" purposes. The main thing that I have learned about being what I guess most of the people here would call a non-traditional bride, is that this is about my significant other and I and ultimately we can do whatever we want, whether it keeps with tradition or not. I don't want a big ceremony, but we still plan to have bridesmaids / groomsmen. They will be responsible for the bachelorette / bachelor parties, will have their own sort of VIP table, and will help us keep things moving smoothly throughout the weekend. I don't think that the duty, responsibility, or honor of being involved in a wedding party stops with standing next to the bride and groom at the ceremony. If you want to pick your best friends and ask them to dress up in whatever color you want, that's absolutely your right. If they don't want to pay for expensive dresses, you can always work with them to find more cost-friendly options, keep it slightly more casual, or they can always say no. This is your event and you can conduct it in any way you want.

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  • Maira
    Beginner July 2020
    Maira ·
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    Thanks for your input! Late response, but I have been contemplating this and everyone thinks it’s silly to have them.

    But I have decided that I WILL have bridesmaids! Now I just have to figure it all out and organize what their main roles will be

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  • K
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Kat ·
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    I just think that it's your day and you should do you.

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  • anna
    Devoted October 2019
    anna ·
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    I only had 2 bridesmaids, but I had 6 other "friends of honor" who I wanted to honor but I didn't want such a huge bridal party. I asked them all to wear dresses in my color scheme, and we all took some pictures together. you could do something similar! ask your friends who you would like to honor to wear a certain color of dress, and then take some special photos together Smiley smile

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