Bridesmaids

Something I'm always telling fellow brides on here is that you DO NOT have to put someone in your bridal party just because they or xyz says/implies that they want to be in it. Family doesn't automatically get a ticket into the wedding party.

If you don't think you'll be comfortable having her in your wedding party, and are unsure about it, then don't put her in it. Simple. I also agree with everything Samantha has said. Has his sister personally expressed this to you, or acted as if she's upset she hasn't been asked yet? It most likely is just her mother assuming she should be part of the wedding, not necessarily that the sister is expecting it. Also, your husband really needs to handle this matter seeing that it's his sister. If he wants her to be honored and included, then he can do so!

Yep, I agree with the others. Do not feel pressured to have anyone in your party based on third party information. Some people feel entitled!

Just because she is your FSIL does not mean she automatically gets to be a bridesmaid. YOU get to choose who you want to stand up next to you, no one else. If your fiancé really wants her in the wedding, she can be on his side.

I also agree with everyone, you don't have to feel pressured into making her one of your bridesmaid just because her mom says she's expecting to be one. It's your wedding and you can decide who you want as your bridesmaids. If the situation is still bothering you then you should talk to you fiance about it.

As others have said, take information not coming from the source with a grain of salt. My MIL threw a tantrum saying SIL would be devastated if her kids weren't in our wedding and when we talked to her we found out she already made babysitter plans for our whole day and didn't expect that at all.

If you want to include her in some way I feel like she might be a bit too old for a junior bridesmaid... are there any other jobs you could trust her with during your day to give her a role? If you don't want to include her then that's fine too! Just because she's a sibling doesn't mean she needs to be involved as anything other than a guest.

If she's looking for responsibility, maybe you could include her in the wedding shower so she has a big role that is still somewhat behind the scenes and doesn't involve her in your bachelorette party. I have some friends who are not great at party-like socializing and/or don't drink, so I invited them to the bachelorette party but was upfront about what it would be like versus the shower. All of them chose to only attend the wedding shower because it was more their comfort level.

I wouldn't say put her fully in charge of the shower, but you could give her responsibilities like looking up games, planning/cooking dishes, making fun drinks, decorating, ect.

I would also suggest being upfront with her, ask if she WANTS a role in the wedding, and what she has in mind. My sib has similar sounding behavioral issues and they didn't really want anything which would put them on the spot. There's a good chance your SIL doesn't want a role like Bridesmaid and would feel as awkward about it as you would. It's probably more your MIL's idea so by asking your SIL about what she wants you'll be able to let MIL down easier.

I hope this helps!

Thank you it does help

Well i have recently found out, the my FH has told her if he were to ever marry he would want her in the wedding party. and since most bachelorette parties are roughly 2 months before the wedding she will be 17 , and that puts a lot of limitations on what my maid of honor would have to plan so she could be apart of it. i know its nerve wrecking to walk down an aisle and have all eyes on you, even as a bridesmaid, also another thing is that honestly she is a hard person to give responsibilities to because she will let go and give up. only thing i could really do, is tell her, if she were to be a bridesmaid, she will not be able to be a part of the bachelorette party because of her age, she would be to old for a jr bridesmaid, but i can offer her to do something in replacement of not being able to participate in the bach' party, like eve casinos are 21 and over due to the being 21 and up now. my fiance and i dont understand why she wants to be one so badly, and i really dont want to be stressing over this pressing matter, on our big day, she has breakdowns and meltdowns really bad, some days she wakes up so pissy, that her and her brother dont get along, times have changed in the past years, for them, that she cant stand to look at him, she wants him on her side so he can back her up when she is getting in trouble. but to be honest, i cant rely on her, she gets lazy and she is really good at trying to make things all about her.

She is not your responsibility. Your fiancé made the promise. This is between him and his sister.