Bridesmaids the night before

Are your bridesmaids all local to the wedding? If so, then why do they "need" to stay anywhere the night before? I would think as long as they show up at the time you want them to, the morning of, it shouldn't be an issue?

Now, if it's destination or a lonnnnnng hike from their home to the venue, getting ready spot, etc, then I could see them needing to pay for a hotel, the evening before.

Outside of that--I think, as it's your mom's home, it's on you to let your bridesmaid know that you didn't check with your mom first and you misspoke. That you would love to have them, but you made the assumption they could stay, without checking with your mom. Again--if they are local, simply telling her to come the morning of, solves all of that, much more easily.

View Quoted Comment They’re all six hours away, and I did check with my mom prior.

I would either convince my mom that that is super rude and exclusive and to let them stay, or use my money to find an Airbnb or hotel suite that could accomodate everyone (if they want to stay together).

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You're really not saving them any money if the husband still has to get a hotel room. I agree with the pp. You should tell her that your Mom won't be able to include her husband so she is welcome to decide if she wants to spend the night with him or at your Mom's.

What’s the big deal about the dude staying over? They’re married. What is she afraid of?

Did you ask your mom why she changed her mind?

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She just thinks that because they're married they need to have their own hotel room.

View Quoted Comment But why? I’d honestly press this with your mom. She agreed to it in the first place and nothing has changed. I don’t think it’s fair to make one BM pay for a hotel room simply because she’s married and her husband will be with her. Now if your mom had said no from the start that would be a totally different story.

View Quoted Comment If your mom changed her mind, she should be the one to tell them instead of putting you in that position. It would be one thing if you incorrectly assumed. But if she told you yes to both of them, and then went back on her word, she needs to bite the bullet and tell them that she is going back on her word.

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Oh, that's not cool, then. I would push back at your mom. If she's the one that changed her mind, that's on HER, not on you. Who cares she is married--your mom originally agreed to it, and she had no qualms then.

If your mom is still being insistent, I would push back further that SHE should cover the hotel since she is the one going back on what she originally said.

Sorry you are dealing with this!

If your mom originally said yes then it is incredibly rude for her to change her mind now. Does she never have married guests stay at her house? This is very strange, honestly. I would push back on your mom.

That is super awkward and surprised your Mom would have an issue with this, especially since they are married (although, that oddly seems to be the issue) but her house, her rules I guess. Do you by chance live close-ish to your Mom? If so, maybe they can stay at your place?

I would maybe suck it up and rent an Air BnB and all stay there or all stay at your place. This is going to start your wedding on a really bad awkward vibe. It's excluding one person who is making a lot of effort to be there and it's just not a good tone. I would be really offended, hurt and embarrassed (even though I shouldn't be) if I was your BM. I would then let your Mom know that she put you in this situation, where you now need to pay for an Air BnB and she looses out on you getting ready with her. She has the right to this decision but you have the right to make other plans.

View Quoted Comment FH and I live in an 800 square foot apartment. FH offered it to his groomsmen for the night before (they’re all also coming from out of town, some arriving Thursday night before the wedding from across the country).

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Oh ok, well I would say you need to make some sort of plan. Your Mom has put you in a horrible predicament but it wouldn't be right to allow all your BMs but one to stay with you. Weddings are such emotional times and so much is asked of people, it could leave a really sour and bitter taste in her mouth and I would understand why.

Could you pay for her hotel the other night? It seems weird since you offered and are not taking away the offer, she may not have budgeted for the extra night since you asked or the hotel may not have a room that night. I think it's reasonable to want to stay with your husband.

Hi Deryn,

I totally get saying yes to things because I basically said yes to everything anyone asked the first month lol. The decisions are overwhelming! To me personally, inviting your bridesmaids over is a girls' thing and the husband doesn't need to be there. You can be open with your friend and tell her since you just want your bridesmaids there, it's best if they get a hotel room. You first said yes without really thinking about it. Give her enough time to book it. It's 2018 people can find a place to stay, in my opinion. Also, don't sweat it. You have enough on your plate and there is no way to please everyone in the process. Say what you mean but don't say it mean, and that's you keeping your side of the street clean. Congratulations by the way! And wishing you all the best

I think it is rude to separate a married couple like that. If there is enough place at your moms house, and you already told her that he could stay, then he should stay there with you. You and your mom maybe didn't think at the moment that one of your bridemades has a husband. I don't mean this as an offence, but it is on you two for inviting the bridal party over and fogeting about someones husband. I would let him stay the night now. As someone already said, you don't want to offent someone by excluding them or separating them from their spouse or the bridal party, and then risk having strange vibes at the wedding. I think of all my guest who are couples like that - they are a couple and they come at the wedding, sit at the table and stay the night as a couple.