Susan
Just Said Yes May 2019

Bridesmaids that don't want hair or makeup done?

Susan, on March 11, 2019 at 1:49 PM Posted in Hair and Makeup 0 22
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I was planning to pay for all my bridesmaids and 2 grooms-women to have their hair and makeup done. I thought it would be a nice treat for everyone, and I thought it would make the photos nicer if everyone had it done professionally. They all knew I was planning to do this. This morning I texted everyone the start time just to give them a heads up and I got a text from my MOH, asking if she could do a trial because she doesn't like to wear makeup and all of her experiences in the past have left her looking "like a hoochie mama". I told her I am sure if she wanted to do a trial she could contact the MAU and set something up (pay for it herself of course) and sent her the website/contact info. Of course, this is also the bridesmaid that would rather pay $300 for a brand new dress for herself and $300 for her daughter that is also in the wedding than wear the ones I found on Poshmark for $150 that had been worn once before like my other bridesmaids all chose to do.

Then I got to thinking one of the groomswomen doesn't wear makeup at all. Is it wrong for me to want everyone to get their makeup and hair done as long as I pay for it, or should I just let it be optional if they want it? Ultimately it would save me money if they don't want it done.

22 Comments

Latest activity by Sherry, on April 12, 2019 at 11:12 AM
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
    • Flag

    I personally think makeup and hair should be optional regardless of if you're paying for it or not. I couldn't imagine forcing someone to do something they're not comfortable with.

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    I'd just let them do their own if they want. I have 9 bridesmaids, two are opting to do their own makeup. The rest are getting their hair & makeup done. The two that opted to do their own are just picky!

    • Reply
  • Victoria
    Super May 2019
    Victoria ·
    • Flag
    I’d leave it optional. I wanted to make sure all my girls were comfortable so I let them choose their own dresses and left hair and makeup optional.
    • Reply
  • JustKidding
    VIP April 2018
    JustKidding ·
    • Flag

    Why would you want to force someone to do something they are not comfortable with to make your wedding look better?

    These are your friends, not props. If they don't want it done, leave it be.

    • Reply
  • FutureStephD
    Super March 2019
    FutureStephD ·
    • Flag

    I think it's nice of you to treat everyone!

    I would let it be optional... Would you rather them be comfortable or look good for your photos?

    I also think your response to MOH was appropriate. I always HATE how professionals do my makeup - they make me look like a "working girl" if you know what I mean.

    • Reply
  • Anna
    Master June 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    As an older Bride to be....Im not stressing as much as I would have years ago...

    I'm giving them the option. I've been in several weddings where I had to do exactly the same hair, make-up, shoes , jewelry as the other girls.

    I'm just letting them do what they are comfortable with. It's ok with meSmiley smile

    I'm just thrilled to get marriedSmiley smileSmiley smile
    I think it's a lovely gesture for you to offer. I would personally take you up on it 😆
    • Reply
  • Heather
    VIP January 2019
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    I think optional is best as well. If someone does not normally wear makeup, they might think they have to in order to please you.

    • Reply
  • Danielle K
    VIP June 2019
    Danielle K ·
    • Flag

    I think it should be optional. My sister was a bridesmaid for her brother in law's wedding. she was required to have her makeup professionally done with an airbrush artist. she hated it and felt so uncomfortable. she said she even snuck off to touch it up with her own makeup. For my wedding, she opted to just have the artist do her eye shadow and liner.

    • Reply
  • Susan
    Just Said Yes May 2019
    Susan ·
    • Flag

    Ok, I just told everyone that is was completely optional. I told them it is my treat if they decide they want it done and just let me know if they want hair and makeup done, just hair, just makeup or nothing at all. I'm a super girly girl and love makeup so it just honestly never occurred to me that someone wouldn't love a chance to have someone do their hair and makeup for them, especially for free.

    • Reply
  • Latoya
    Just Said Yes 0000
    Latoya ·
    • Flag

    Ill leave it optional. I have 7 bridesmaid and i will provide the hairstylist and makeup artist for them if they choose if not its all good. But i will require that they hair be in a up-do.

    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    It is so refreshing when someone comes on here, asks for advice, and actually listens to it.

    Glad it worked out Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Sophie
    Super December 2020
    Sophie ·
    • Flag
    There are definitely more natural options they could do if they aren’t into having a lot on.
    • Reply
  • JustKidding
    VIP April 2018
    JustKidding ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Glad it all worked out!

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Super May 2019
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    I don't think you should make someone wear makeup if they don't want to. It would make them feel uncomfortable and they might not enjoy the day as much. It's nice for you to offer, but if someone declines, then you know it's not about money and what they truly feel comfortable with.

    • Reply
  • Teri
    April 2021
    Teri ·
    • Flag

    I think it is a lovely gesture. Maybe in the past she just did not have the right artist apply her makeup. I know the feeling. I don't want to look like I'm in drag, just gorgeous. It's a hard decision to make on this one. But I think she would go along with it and have it done with the rest of the group.

    • Reply
  • LMBT
    Dedicated April 2019
    LMBT ·
    • Flag

    I also have had terrible experiences with "professional" hair and makeup, so I get it. It's not realistic or kind to push the issue. But I'll also commiserate with you for a second and say that it's hard when everyone wants to do their own thing. My friends and I were/are all in each others' weddings, so we had a mutual code. Be as little stress for the bride as possible, it's not your day to stand out, shut up and color.

    • Reply
  • Lashell
    Dedicated May 2019
    Lashell ·
    • Flag

    It's a requirement for me you don't have to have a full face but lips and eyes maybe even light cc cream something have to be on my bridesmaids face. If not they can seat it out not going to mess up my photos that cost a arm and leg so what I ask my bridesmaid for shouldn't be a problem for my wedding on there day they may request whatever they may need from me.

    • Reply
  • Bridget
    VIP August 2019
    Bridget ·
    • Flag

    It should be optional, I love that your willing to pay for everyone but if they don't want it I wouldn't force them to.

    • Reply
  • Soon2BSmith
    Expert October 2020
    Soon2BSmith ·
    • Flag

    I think you should have them do the makeup by MUA you choose. It will a cohesive look.

    • Reply
  • Kareta
    Dedicated September 2019
    Kareta ·
    • Flag
    For me it not optional I do understand that everyone don’t like don’t wear it but it’s one day. planning for a wedding is 6mths to a year the wedding day is that day and it’s all over but the pictures are for a lifetime but it’s always one that can’t follow the rules
    • Reply

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