I normally wouldn't post anything like this but lately I've been pretty frustrated with a bridesmaid and just really needed to vent a bit.
I have a bridesmaid who has been pretty upsetting. It started when I first asked my bridal party to be a part of the wedding. I had heartfelt letters, champagne, and ring pops to "pop the question". Everyone I asked was excited except her. Her response was, "Oh is that really all you have to write? I would have written a novel about how much I care about you." She said it like she could be joking but it hurt nonetheless. I chose to ignore the comment and just enjoy a fun evening, but throughout the night she decided that everyone should help her plan her (nonexistent) wedding instead because she insists her boyfriend will ask her soon. I was taken aback by all of it. We have been friends since middle school and had lived in different states since graduation but have recently ended up in the same state again, and I thought we had always remained close all this time so this was strange and hurtful behavior from her.
I decided to move on from that night and got wrapped up in planning our wedding. As days went on though I was getting more annoyed with her behavior. She was getting upset about my Mom wanting to throw me a bridal shower, expecting her child to be included in everything because she'll want to be there and doesn't want anyone else watching him, (and while I do love her little boy I do not want a 2 year old included in things like a bachelorette party or staying with us the night before the wedding), she's invited her family to the wedding knowing we have limited space, and she won't respond to ANY conversations about the wedding, big or small. I have tried not being a pushy bride and honestly have not asked much from bridesmaids but some of the things she’s been doing just seemed ridiculous to me.
So I brought up some of the issues to her and she apologized, she said a lot had been going on for her and she hasn’t been herself but things were looking up and she was excited for the wedding. I was so happy because things seemed to be better with us but recently she’s been acting strange again. Our wedding will be in Florida near his family and I’ve brought it up quite a few times I would understand if money would be an issue for anyone traveling. All of my bridesmaids, (including her), said it wouldn’t be a problem. My family and I are even paying for a “bridesmaids suite” for all of the girls the weekend of the wedding to help with costs. But this bridesmaid has suddenly been saying things that hint to the fact that she hasn’t been saving anything and she doesn’t know how she’ll be able to afford the trip while the next time I talk to her she’s planning a big trip to Disney the week after the wedding. When we all got together to find bridesmaid dresses she kept to herself and hardly talked to anyone, which is again out of character for her, but she said any costs she was good to cover. And now she’s planning on moving within the next month and has been telling me because of the move she will be unable to pay the $50 deposit to place the order for her bridesmaids dress and won’t be able to do so until she’s settled in and has a job… which means she won’t order until at least 1-2 months after everyone else has ordered theirs.
I guess I’m just frustrated because I thought we were very close friends, yet ever since I’ve asked her to be in my wedding she’s been doing some selfish things and has not seemed excited or happy for me. I’ve tried talking to her once before but that didn’t seem to change anything. I’ve tried looking past it all because all I want to focus on is planning the happiest day of my life with my fiance and I’ve tried very hard not letting drama ruin anything, but I’ve had family and friends bring it up because it’s even seemed strange and upsetting to them. And with her recent claims of having money problems and not ordering her dress, some have told me they wonder if she’ll even come to the wedding. So I’m not sure what to do. Let it be and what will happen, will happen? Do I try talking to her again? I don’t like the idea of asking her not to be in the wedding because I hate anything that could be confrontational, but it’s seeming more and more silly to have someone, who clearly doesn’t seem happy, by my side on my wedding day. And with the wedding getting closer and closer, I’m worried things won’t get done because she’s dragging her feet. Sorry for the extremely long post, just helps to vent about it! To anyone who has read this and might have any advice, thank you in advance!
