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Just Said Yes October 2022

Bridesmaids regret

Carrie7, on June 29, 2022 at 12:04 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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I had gone back and forth on whether or not we would do a bridal party. Finally decided to yes have one. Three each. I am now regretting one in particular on my side, almost to the point of regretting having a bridal party altogether. She’s become difficult in the sense of not responding to me in regards to wedding involved things, but would still message me about anything and everything to do with her life… leaving my wedding related questions unanswered or with vague unhelpful comments. I’ve tried saying if things don’t work out (as far as coming to my dress fitting which none of the maids have seen the dress in person) it’s okay but never got an answer. This is not the first time in regards to different aspects of planning. Do I just ride it out with my frustrations bottled and simmering under my stress of planning or just cut her out…. Is that even a thing to do?? She’s even brought up an excuse of not knowing someone to watch her dogs…for the wedding day… yet she’s a teacher and leaves her dogs regularly for long periods of time… wth

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Latest activity by Bailey, on July 20, 2022 at 4:50 PM

Super October 2023
Kelly · on June 29, 2022 at 12:14 PM
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I think the best approach would be to talk to your friend and tell her how you feel. She might not realize that they're upsetting you. I know that for me, it gets confusing when I'm texting someone about more than one topic at a time. Also, some people in my life are hesitant to give opinions because they don't want to be overbearing. Maybe you could let her know that you'd appreciate firm opinions.
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Rockstar December 2022
Michelle · on June 29, 2022 at 1:36 PM
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How far away are you from the wedding? More than 6 months? Under 6 months? First sit down and have an honest conversation. If that doesn’t go anywhere, you can ask her to step down, but be aware that will end the friendship.
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Just Said Yes October 2022
Carrie7 · on June 29, 2022 at 1:41 PM
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3 months out. I’ve written to be explaining how I’ve been feeling as of late. We’ll see how it goes. To be honest she’s one to say she’s excited and not follow through on that.
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Super May 2022
Erin · on June 29, 2022 at 2:28 PM
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Firing a bridesmaid can have drastic consequences. If you’re not wanting the friendship to end, I’d advise against.

Technically bridesmaids are only responsible for buying the dress and showing up at the wedding. Everything else is optional. I’ve seen a lot of ladies on here who post about wanting their bridesmaids to help plan the wedding and being disappointed that they don’t help a lot. Not sure what your expectations were with them helping you plan, but it would help relieve stress if you let go of any expectations beyond dress + showing up. We had some snags with various members of our wedding party as well, but once I got myself in that mindset of less expectations from them, it took a huge weight off my shoulders.
As for the dog-sitter thing, that’s up to her to figure out. If you want, you can try to suggest someone or a boarding place, but after that, leave all to her.
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Just Said Yes October 2022
Carrie7 · on June 29, 2022 at 2:43 PM
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I don’t want to fire her and I really don’t have expectations for her to meet besides answering me when I ask if she wants to be included in something. Giving them the options is ideal to me rather than demanding or ignoring them completely. But getting any response is like pulling teeth, yet her trying to discuss any little thing happening in her life is a breeze for her. I can’t help that I’m not interested in listening to minor drama when she’s seeming to ignore me in things that I’m asking for simple yes or nos… that’s what’s rubbing to wrong to me. Does that make sense?
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Expert October 2023
Bailey · on July 20, 2022 at 4:50 PM
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It definitely does make sense, and I think you should sit down with her and explain how her behavior has been making you feel. Super important to be as calm, and sweet as you can. Her reaction will be your answer! Especially because you're asking very little of your bridesmaids, it's not appropriate for her to act like that.
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Bridesmaids regret

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