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Addi
Savvy October 2021

Bridesmaids rant

Addi, on February 17, 2021 at 3:19 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 15
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Hello ladies! I mostly just want to vent about one of my bridesmaids on here to let it all out. I have a bridesmaid that I’ve been friends with since middle school, and she’s always made not the best decisions and is one that drops her friends when she makes new ones but when the new ones disappear she comes back to being friends.
After high school I really thought she changed and we got closer than ever. She got engaged and asked me to be a bridesmaid and then I got engaged and asked her. It was so exciting to be planning together and going through the stress with someone. Well she ended up breaking up with her fiancé and after that any time I talked about wedding stuff she just changed the subject.
Well after she broke off her engagement she went back to not really talking to me unless she didn’t have other friends. She shaved her head which annoyed me a little because come time for my wedding it’ll be in the really awkward stage. I know I have no say and it’s honestly none of my business but it was a little annoying. She started talking to a guy pretty much right after and then a month later I met the guy. He seems like a good guy honestly, but two days after I met him she moved 8 hours away to live with him. She didn’t even tell me ahead of time. She had mentioned that she was thinking of moving but I thought she’d wait until her lease was up. I found out she was moving from Snapchat. Now every time she comes home she doesn’t tell me and she is slowly stopping snapchatting me. The only time we talk is when I text her first. I honestly just feel like the friendship isn’t with it at this point and I’m not getting anything out of it other than stress. I feel like she’s back to making a lot of choices that I don’t agree with and if someone says something to her she quits talking to them so I can’t even tell her that I worry about some of them. I honestly am waiting to see if she stops talking to me completely so I can just replace her spot. It’s honestly just my stress getting to me and things will go back to normal but we’ll see.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Prist, on February 25, 2021 at 4:44 AM
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    Asking someone to step down from the BP is usually a friendship-ending move.

    Be sure you are really ok with that before you say anything.

    She sounds kind of self-destructive and very uncentered. Have you tried talking to her about anything non-wedding related?

    You could simply tell her that you were hurt she moved without telling you, because you miss her. And see if that leads to a conversation...

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  • Addi
    Savvy October 2021
    Addi ·
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    I have tried talking to her about non wedding stuff! I try to talk to her at least once a week and every time it’s just short answers. The only time it’s a real conversation at this point is when she’s telling me how great of friends she’s made or something her boyfriend did for her.
    I also did say something about how I wish she would’ve told me she was moving so soon and nothing came of it.
    At this point I won’t be asking her to step down unless all contact stops. I mostly just had to get the frustration out.
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    Honestly she sounds like a terrible friend. With how flakey she is I would have never asked her to be in the wedding to begin with because she doesn't at all seem the least bit reliable.


    It sounds like there's not much to the friendship. If I was you I'd demote her and if it ends the friendship so be it.
    I had a friend who was a really good friend to me in high school. Once we graduated high school her attitude towards me changed. She was always jealous of me and trying to compete with me. She would constantly put me down. I told my fiance mine and her friendship wouldn't last. I told him once I go through something big like getting engaged, getting married, or buying a house she would let her jealousy get in the way and I'd drop her as a friend. I got engaged and that's exactly what happened her jealousy got the best of her and I dropped her as a friend.
    Some relationships aren't forever and it seems like you are doing what I did, Hanging on to someone who doesn't deserve a spot in your life. I hung on to my friendship for 10 of those 15 years because 5 of those years she was a good friend. I eventually had to realize she didn't deserve a place in my life.
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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    I wouldn’t chase after people. Relationship ever it works both ways. I would just continue to plan as if she’s not a bridesmaid. If she eventually reaches out to you the details she’s interested in still being your bridesmaid, but if she doesn’t, it’s pretty obvious that she’s no longer interested.
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  • Jessica
    Devoted February 2021
    Jessica ·
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    Sit her down and tell her all of this and then give each other a couple days to mull it over- a real friend will understand and try to work with you to make it better for both of you
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    This sounds like a completely 1 sided friendship. True friends don’t treat each other like this. Planning a wedding is stressful & is
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  • Tory
    Devoted May 2022
    Tory ·
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    She sounds very selfish to me. I’m really sorry that you feel like your friendship is never a priority, and that she’ll constantly set aside your friendship when she meets new people. I would really think hard before cutting her out of your bridal party, just because it would likely end your friendship, but if she doesn’t keep in touch with you and never makes an effort then it might be worth it. You don’t want to look back on your day and think about how someone was standing next to you and shouldn’t have been. Hope this helps
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  • Sara M
    Dedicated June 2022
    Sara M ·
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    Drop this friend! She means you no good! Very simple !
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  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
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    I agree, I've had one sided friendships before and honestly you'll feel SO SO much better once you drop her!

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  • Katherine
    Expert October 2021
    Katherine ·
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    I had a childhood friend with that same personality. She was one of my bridesmaids and her daughter was going to be my flower girl. She as well makes a lot of bad choices I didn't agree with. Honestly always has. If I said something she was offended and stopped talking to me. The friendship caused more drama then it did joy. I decided the drama wasn't worth it and just decided I didn't need anymore drama in my life and stress on top of wedding planning. I've gained the trait of if u wanna leave go for it. I'm not going to stop u. I dropped her after she became distant and replaced her with other friends in the bridal party and found a new flower girl.
    Honestly once I dropped her I felt better. Some friendships aren't ment to last forever. Hurts a lil at first but u find the blessing in it. Sometimes u grow faster then others and u need to be around others with the same growth.
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    It sounds like she showed you who she was LONG before you asked her to be your bridesmaid. This isn't a blame the victim deal, but I do think you should try not to take her erratic behavior personally because that is clearly just who she is; it has nothing to do with your wedding. Moving forward, your choices are continuing to try to reach out to her as a friend, waiting (forever?) for her to get back in contact with you, or decisively ending the friendship and drop her from your wedding party.

    Whichever direction you go is up to you, just make sure you are ready for the friendship to be over before going that last option. And no matter what happens (you kick or out or she leaves/fails to show), do not replace her. Her role isn't crucial to your marriage and any other friend you ask will just feel like a second class citizen for being a replacement.

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  • Sara M
    Dedicated June 2022
    Sara M ·
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    Exactly girl!!!! At the end of the day it’s you and your man!!! I don’t hesitate to drop friends I have a couple of family members I can possibly drop too LOL I’m just watching them !
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  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
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    HAHA yes! In the same boat, gotta love to hate that drama! Wouldn't be a wedding without some kind of drama!

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  • Addi
    Savvy October 2021
    Addi ·
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    Thank you guys! Honestly sometimes with all the wedding stress it just feels good to rant about non needed stress 😅
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