Bridesmaids passing

We had two very close family members pass away right before our wedding: my husband’s step father and my aunt with whom I was very close. We chose to add Scottish Heather to all the bouquets (her name was Heather) and we also asked for a moment of silence in our ceremony to remember our loved ones who could not be with us in person that day and used their names specifically. It’s up to you, but I think everyone who knew the situation was very touched by us including our departed loved ones in the ceremony itself.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for sharing that I'm feeling lost right now an this helps.

My sister, uncle, and best friend all passed away this year, so we are doing a table with all of their pictures candles and something that each of them loved.

Can you leave one seat open at the ceremony and set her dress in that place?

View Quoted Comment That is a great idea! And I’m sorry for your loss.

I would go to a craft store and pick up small picture frames like for a keychain and use ribbons to tie them to the bouquet.

Do you know if your mother will let you have sunflowers in other parts of the wedding besides the bouquets? Maybe you can save a seat for her with a sunflower on it. Or have a mini table with her picture and other loved ones that have passed~

I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the struggle you’re going through. I hope you’ll pull through and everything turns out okay *hugs*

Brittani, I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your bridesmaid. I send my heartfelt condolences to you and her family during this time of bereavement. I personally love the keychain idea. You could also light candles, have a moment of silence, or place her picture somewhere as additional acts to preserve her memory. Try your best to remain positive, focused, and strong.

Could you get her a bouquet of sunflowers and have them carried down maybe with a picture of her and placed on a pedestal where she would’ve stood next to the bridal party? I’ve also seen really sweet signs displayed at weddings for people who have passed. My favorite saying is “Because someone we love is in heaven, there is a little bit of heaven here today.“
Sorry about the weird font size, I copied it and am on my phone. Oh well. Anyways. We’re planning on having branches/trees in some of our centerpieces so I also like this idea maybe with a sign

View Quoted Comment

I don’t think that’s a good idea. That could be very emotional for everyone i attendance, especially those closest to her.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this. I understand you are grieving and want to honor your friend but I would suggest keeping it subtle. Perhaps you can add a small sunflower pendant or charm to the stem of the bouquets with ribbon.

That's so sad! I'm sorry for your loss. If your mom is being difficult about it I would get a bouquet of sunflowers and put it on display at the reception with a picture of her. I like the idea of the picture keychain on your bouquet. Or during the ceremony have a minute to reflect on passed loved ones.

I'm so sorry for your loss. My cousin lost his mom six months before he got married. At the ceremony he left one seat open and put a photo frame with his mother's photo in it on that seat. And then during the wedding ceremony he placed a rose on her chair in memory of her. I'm going to say you can do something like this and place a sunflower on your friend seat.

Sorry for your lost put a sunflower on display either at the ceremony or wedding reception to honor her.

I am so so sorry for your loss. I would be super upset with my controlling mother if she said NO to something like this. But, I agree with others get charm frames for your bouquets and carry a photo of her.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Maybe discuss with your mom again and let her know how important it is to you to have the sunflowers included. Hopefully, she will come around. You could also get a bouquet charm and put her picture in it instead if your mom won't budge.

I think you should honor her in a subtle way. I think anything too obvious (like saving a chair, etc.) would make people too emotional and your wedding shouldn't turn into a second funeral for her. We are honoring my grandparents who I was very close to by having a bouquet charm, playing their favorite song during cocktail hour (my mom will recognize it but, no one else will pick up on it), and including their names in our programs in an in memoriam section.

View Quoted Comment

Oh gosh - please don't do this. I will be blunt: this sounds very creepy to me. A flat dress laying across a chair? No, no, no. This is a WEDDING not a funeral service or a memorial. Say something brief at the reception if you wish but seeing that dress in an empty chair will be very upsetting to a lot of people.

I am sorry your friend passed but this is not the way to remember her.

You'd think your mom would understand why you want a sunflower, and let you decide what happens in your own wedding. But whatever. Reserving a seat for her at the ceremony with a bouquet of sunflowers would be nice. I'm so sorry for your loss.

View Quoted Comment

Agree with this. So sorry that you have lost your friend and are having to struggle with your mom over this very nice gesture.

First of all, I am very sorry for your loss. Secondly, I am going to offer an unpopular opinion here on WW. When family members contribute financially, it can give weight to their opinions, it DOES NOT grant them unilateral executive control. This is important to you, and you are honoring a dear friend whom you are grieving. IMO, Your mother either does not understand how important this is to you, or she is flat out WRONG. You are honoring the loss of a close friend with the sunflowers- whether they "match" is IRRELEVANT. Also, It is petty and dismissive to say No "because the sunflowers DON'T match". Talk to you mother again and make SURE she understands the gravity of this and that you INSIST on the sunflowers. If she still says no after the conversation, the next step depends on you and how dedicated you are to honoring her in this way. If it were me, that would be the last my mother heard of it, but I would 100% buy one sunflower for each bouquet and put them in MYSELF right before the ceremony- she can see them when you all walk down the isle. The fall-out could be dealt with later.

On a personal note: My mother died last year. In honor of her, I am including 1 yellow rose in my bouquet. My colors are wine and burnt orange- the flower doesn't match, and it 100% does NOT matter. You are the one who needs to get through the day, who needs to honor your friend in the best/most suiting way you can. I think your vision is SO appropriate, symbolic, and beautiful. I would stand my ground on this 100%. Don't compromise you vision of a memorial because one person's priorities are not in line with yours [aesthetic vs. sentiment].