Bridesmaids not getting ready with me?

Are you getting ready at the venue? Hotel room? Hair salon? They may still get ready with you just not use your hair and make up person depending on where you ate having yours done

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We are getting ready at my Hotel Room. They said they will be there before the ceremony starts so I know they will not be there with me at all.

Hmmm that is honestly very odd. How many girls are we talking? I’ve never been in a wedding where the expectation wasn’t that all the bridesmaids would be getting together. It’s some of the most fun part of the wedding day!
I would ask your girls if there was something inconvenient about where you’re getting ready.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. This seems odd to me. Every wedding that I've been in, it was sort of a given that the bridesmaids all get ready together on the morning of the wedding (although not really a requirement). I would check with the bridesmaids to find out what their plans are for getting ready, and if it's an issue of the specific location of where you'll be or timing that they're concerned about. As a bridesmaid, I couldn't imagine letting the bride get ready alone on her wedding day (unless it was truly what she wanted).

Not spending some period of time with you while getting ready is odd. But do what works for you. Is there a reason that they have stated they aren’t getting ready with you? Space concerns or your beauticians are too expensive for them?

I am covering the cost of hair and makeup. The day will begin at 9am and its only three of them. The distance from their home to the Hotel is about an hour. So maybe the Commutate factored in their decision. Two of them also have small children. Sounds like I'm making excuses for them. But, My MOH also has a child and she will be getting ready with me.

I find this odd as well. I have never been in a wedding where the bridesmaids didn’t get ready with the bride. Is the location really far or inconvenient for them? Are they aware that you are paying for their hair and make up, or do they perhaps think they would be responsible for paying and didn’t want to incur that cost?

View Quoted Comment Be very transparent with the information. They may not realize that you are covering expenses. In the case of kids, they may wonder what to do about child care at that time regardless if kids are invited or not.

They were aware I would cover the cost. Before the final guest list was made I asked if they wanted to bring their children along and they said no. Just thought they would want to share that moment with me. Guess I'm feeling like its not important to them.

Just tell them you would like to get ready together...

2 of my bridesmaids had a separate hair and makeup team so they got ready in their hotel room. Me, my mom and sister had hair and makeup done together but they got dressed in their separate hotel rooms. Everyone came to my room to help me get dressed and take pictures. Honestly it was perfectly fine, not odd or weird at all.

That definitely seems strange

Anytime I've ever been in a wedding I got ready with the bride. It seems odd to me that they don't want to get ready with you, but I guess that's up to you and your girls. It's especially odd if you're willing to pay for their hair or makeup, but some people are particular with that stuff. Maybe express to them that you'd like them to get ready with you instead of just asking what they plan on doing?!

Yes the whole point of bridesmaids is to have people to hang out with you and keep you company and keep you calm on your wedding day. If they aren’t willing to do that then they aren’t doing their bridesmaid duties IMO. I chose people specifically who would be fun and calming on my wedding day and didn’t include people (like my sisters) who would be more focused on their kids than me.

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For my sister's wedding, one bridesmaid brought her children. They were also in the wedding, but we all helped watch the kids while getting ready and it was a lot of fun. Maybe you could offer this to them?